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What do you wish your partner knew about the realities of pregnancy?

(34 Posts)
KElise Thu 25-Jun-20 11:56:48

I am interested in what you ladies wish your partners knew or understood better during your pregnancies. For example my partner constantly makes jokes about how often I go to the fridge but he doesn’t understand these cravings! Ladies this is your time to vent!

OP’s posts: |
ALC1985 Thu 25-Jun-20 12:07:43

How exhausted I am! How I'm not sleeping and how I dont want to go for a bloody 5 mile walk everyday cos it hurts. I wish he could be pregnant just for a day to see how it feels! grin

sel2223 Thu 25-Jun-20 12:09:33

The exhaustion definitely.

He's pretty good actually and is mostly sympathetic but sometimes I can tell he just doesn't get it and thinks I'm just being a bit lazy!

Icouldstillbejoseph Thu 25-Jun-20 12:09:41

It's been a while since I was pregnant but I remember thinking that my partner really did not get how utterly debilitating and miserable the constant waves of nausea were. No, I don't want to sit and chat with you over dinner - I want to lie down with a cold face cloth on my face and not move my lips for fear more sick is going to come out.

GlennRheeismyfavourite Thu 25-Jun-20 12:10:57

That getting up 5 times a night for a wee means that I don't feel refreshed and rested after going to bed at 9!!

GlennRheeismyfavourite Thu 25-Jun-20 12:12:14

That the sickness is worse than anything you could possibly imagine and 8 solid weeks of sickness is utterly utterly miserable. He has been amazing through it all!

GlennRheeismyfavourite Thu 25-Jun-20 12:13:26

And that I'm not being fussy when I say I don't want to eat x any more - I literally can not put it in my mouth without throwing up and I'm not doing it to be a pain in the arse!!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion Thu 25-Jun-20 12:13:47

The sickness, the fucking sickness. Even the tablets aren't working. He has been good and supportive this time, but I think only because I blew up a few days after I found out (surprise pregnancy) and told him he was bloody useless and unsupportive last time. This is my third pregnancy but only second with him. I suffer all the way through, but a week after we found out he was saying things like "you still being sick!" That just made me want to stab him to be honest. Last time I ended up very depressed, which then resulted in pnd which he was absolutely shit through aswell.

Icouldstillbejoseph Thu 25-Jun-20 12:15:03

@GlennRheeismyfavourite I ended up in ITU (something unrelated to sickness) in my second pregnancy. My partner was super attentive and supportive - I remember clearly saying to him that I felt better in ITU than I did with unrelenting 'morning' sickness. He looked at me like I'd gone mad - I was trying to make him understand how terrible it feels.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion Thu 25-Jun-20 12:16:12

I guarantee if men were the ones that had to carry babies they would have cited for all pregnancy symptoms.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion Thu 25-Jun-20 12:16:29

Found, not cited 🤦

MooChops89 Thu 25-Jun-20 12:17:12

Similar to PP about the exhaustion and laziness, but today particularly - that it's normal to be hormonal and emotional and I'm not just being a moody cow! I'm 39 weeks and so fed up, can barely move, keep thinking things are happening and then they don't, so when I said this morning "I feel miserable today", it's not helpful to say "yeah I can tell". A bit of sympathy wouldn't go amiss!!

eandz13 Thu 25-Jun-20 12:19:51

How tired you are in the first trimester. 3 pregnancies now my partner has thought I was milking the exhaustion from 6-12 weeks because "it's so small, how can you be so tired, theres barely any strain on you yet". It's really difficult to explain to a bloke that it's the hormones that exhaust you, not just the added weight and aches.

Icouldstillbejoseph Thu 25-Jun-20 12:36:39

@eandz13 we are actually growing a whole new human! Pisses me off so much like this is treated as something that wouldn't make you tired!

Spanneroo Thu 25-Jun-20 12:42:21

The exhaustion in first trimester is due to a massive increase in your blood volume so you have less oxygen to go around and you have had no time to acclimatise.

I was STARVING hungry with DD2 and OH would be late back from work sometimes, delaying dinner and I would be absolutely raging that he didn't text ahead. He just thought I was being grumpy.

CouscousEvaporator Thu 25-Jun-20 12:43:22

How it feels to be kicked in the bowels. No one warned me of this. So unpleasant 😂

happygolucky6 Thu 25-Jun-20 12:47:02

How saying "you're fed up now" isn't helping. Yes I am. Sooooo fed up.

How saying "it's the hormones making you emotional" it could be. It could also be the exhaustion I'm feeling from no sleep.

How telling me my stretch marks look really really sore and maybe if I tried a different cream they wouldn't have arrived. (He's lucky he's still alive)

Telling me I shouldn't need the toilet because I've just been... I know!!!!!!! I wish I didn't have our child using my bladder as a bouncy castle!!!!!

Overall my partner has been amazing. He's asked if there's anything he can do etc to help. But they're just so clueless aren't they. 😂😂😂😂

CoalCraft Thu 25-Jun-20 13:10:32

Fair play to dh, he has been wonderful. Been very understanding of my need for naps, hasn't griped at changing the menu for my new food preferences (he is primary cook) and had taken over doing the cat litter even though I got disposable gloves specifically so I could keep doing it. Only thing I wish he'd get is that he's still allowed to initiate things in the bedroom 🙈 He assumes I "won't be in the mood" and waits for me to start things when sometimes it'd be nice to be asked!

biscuit13 Thu 25-Jun-20 13:11:03

Definitely the nausea! My god, it was like having the worst hangover ever but all day every day, for weeks and weeks. I couldnt even have a shower without retching. Husband didnt get it at first and told me that i should just try "doing something" to "take my mind off it". I think a few weeks in he started to understand how bad I was feeling. 🙈 although words cant even describe it!
Oh and the other thing is the mood swings... I really cant help it if I snap at him sometimes because I'm just really mad or upset over the smallest thing.

biscuit13 Thu 25-Jun-20 13:13:08

Having said all that I feel like I'm not giving DH enough credit, he is being wonderful, always asks if I need anything, taken over doing the cat litter tray, gives me a back rub every day to stop my lower back getting sore smile cant complain really!

BabyB19 Thu 25-Jun-20 13:14:23

When I say 'I'm really tired today' and he says 'yeahh me too' errrm no pal, you don't even KNOW what tired is, frig off.

MrsStavrum Thu 25-Jun-20 13:35:35

“You seem to be finding it harder this time round” As if it is my fault. Well I didn’t have a toddler to run around after, a shielding husband and a full time job to juggle!

Char2020 Thu 25-Jun-20 13:42:14

For me it’s the exhaustion when I know sometimes he thinks I’m just being lazy. Some days I don’t move from the sofa until the evening and have naps during the day and get a few comments but overall he has been pretty good.

He also moans sometimes that I don’t eat dinner anymore or skip meals saying I need to make sure I feed the baby..... I don’t think he understands that there is not much room in there anymore so it’s all about small and often rather than the big dinners we used to eat. He gets offended because he thinks I don’t like what his made

crazychemist Thu 25-Jun-20 20:16:31

The sickness. How moving makes me throw up in the evenings - I really need him to step up and do more! How bloody unhelpful it is to say “I thought it would be better by now” and “but you’ve got your tablets now” when I’ve got my head in a bowl AGAIN or can’t bear to open the fridge to get milk for DD.

MumMrs85 Thu 25-Jun-20 21:11:40

All of the above! Also, just how much changes for me and not him. Being pregnant is on my mind for every minute of the day, what I can do, what I can't, what I can eat, all the worries and anxieties and being totally out of control of your own body. It's like they only remember when you remind them. How they casually drink a glass of wine and move about with ease shock

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