Do you talk to your bump?

[ScatterBrain912]

The midwife told me today that I should start talking to my bump, and when I see it move to massage my belly in that spot.

I already touch my belly loads when baby's moving but I don't talk TO my bump. I find it a little "weird". (I feel weird isn't the right word but I can't think of the right word to say.)

I talk through the day, I talk when my partner comes home from work, I feel that's enough? How does baby know I'm talking specifically to them?

How do you feel about talking to your bump?

[Birdy1991]

I talk to and sing to mine, I feel it has helped me to bond. My partner joins in too 😆 can see why people would think it’s weird though!

[2020times]

Had my son 3 years ago, never talked or sang to my bump (and didn't touch it much either)

Everything turned out fine, it won't impact whether baby bonds with you or not. If you want to do it then do but if you don't it's absolutely fine

[Sprintfinish]

I remember a midwife asking me if I read to my bump, me looking confused as I said no, and her being shocked and suggesting that I really should. I never did, seemed a very strange idea!

I never purposefully spoke to my first bump but figured I was talking to people all day at work so baby was used to my voice. With bump #2 I'm constantly talking to a 1 year old in lockdown so it already knows what my "mammy voice" is like!

[RoseGoldEagle]

I do sometimes, mainly when I’m asking her to move because I haven’t felt her in a while and am worrying! My three year old chats to her constantly! I don’t think it’s for anyone else to dictate whether you should or not, I think it’s whatever feels right to you. Like you say your baby will know your voice anyway as you’ll be chatting to whoever is around you. I think it’s more for you than the baby, think it makes some people feel more connected which is lovely, but I don’t think it’s crucial. It all still feels a bit abstract to me when they’re inside you- this is my third and I’ve never really chatted to mine- however once they’re actually here it’s always been completely different, i’ve never felt a lack of bond from not doing it.

[locked2020]

"I remember a midwife asking me if I read to my bump, me looking confused as I said no, and her being shocked and suggesting that I really should." Hilarious!

[locked2020]

Did you read to it after that?

[Sprintfinish]

No, I never did. I remember discussing with DP as we tried to fathom what I would even read to it. She did make me feel like a bad mother before baby was even born, but I just didn't see what either of us would get from the exercise!

[Dinosauraddict]

When I was pregnant (DS is now nearly 4 months) I read one of his books to the bump every day and also played his cot mobile everyday from around 22 weeks. Not only is it good for bonding, but evidence shows that getting them used to the sound of particular books and music when they're in the womb will then become familiar and help them settle when they're distressed outside the womb.

[alwaystiredalwaysgrumpy]

With two children I can safely say I never once talked to my bump, and it has not affected bonding in the slightest. My unborn baby would have no idea if I were walking to it or some random in the street - they can't understand or hear properly what you are saying. The thought of reading to my bump just makes me cringe!

[CoalCraft]

I don't think the idea is for them to get used to your voice since, as others have said, they hear you talking all the time. The point is more about helping you coming to think of them as a little person and becoming emotionally attached before birth. I think it's meant to reduce the rates of PND? As others have said though, it's obviously not required though!

[CoalCraft]

To actually answer the question, I do talk to baby, but not very often. I'm still early on though, imagine I'll do it more once bump is bigger and baby is making itself felt.

[mrs87]

No - I feel exactly the same as you do! Weird, for want of a better word! I find it awkward.. Even if I was to do it at home when nobody else was in 😂 Couldn't tell you why as I natter away to my dog and cat daily. It just seems like such an abstract thing - I do find it so hard to imagine there's an actual human in there, even at 30 weeks! I honestly don't think it'll click until he/she comes out.

[Superscientist]

I keep getting asked this too, I'm high risk of pnd and I get worried about them thinking we aren't bonding so I lie and say I am. I find it weird, I talk to her in my head and I spend half my day talking in meetings as well as to my partner so she is hearing my voice. We have music and the radio on in the house so she hears all of that too I just don't actively talk to her although my partner does. Do what is comfortable for you

[scrivette]

During my 3 pregnancies I never spoke to the bump, I never even considered it. I didn't have any problems bonding and the baby would have been able to hear my voice when I was talking to other people.

[Pinkblueberry]

Nope, I didn’t. If you like doing it great, but if it’s weird to you then I don’t see what purpose it serves. Your baby will hear you’re voice when you’re talking to anyone.

I was exactly the same @mrs87 . It definitely ‘clicked’ when DS arrived I think that’s pretty normal for first babies, it all seems a bit surreal with them. I would probably talk to my second bump because I’ve experienced how they turn into a little person and it will feel a lot more real!

[BeMorePacific]

I used to play music to my bump. I realised that every time I played Azealia Banks 212 he started moving around. Just a shame the song is filth 🙈

[thetangleteaser]

No, never😂 what would you even say?! I don’t think there’s a right and wrong, each to their own but to me it just seemed odd!

[ScatterBrain912]

Thank you for all the replies! I'm so glad I'm not alone in feeling it's an abstract idea to talk to the bump.

I'm not concerned about connecting/loving the baby. This baby is so longed for and so loved already and my heart can only grow more for it. My mum also had PND will all of hers whether she spoke to them or not so I guess I'm probably in that risk bracket anyway.

It gets music played for it (albeit country music because it is its dad's child apparently 😂) and the odd talking to when I either want it to kick or want it to move into a different position because it's kicking me in the same place constantly. I just don't know what I would say to it otherwise!

[Thekindyoufindinasecondhand]

Occasionally me or husband will speak to bump but more in a hi baby how are you, messing around way. At the start we downloaded an app which was something like 10,000 facts (just random facts on everything as it was interesting to us as we are geeks ) and would lay in bed and read out some of them, but to be honest we got a bit complacent so stopped!
There has been studies that babies played music in the womb may recognise it when they are here, my friend played loads of Bob Marley when she was pregnant, and her baby still seems to get excited when its played, so if you feel awkward maybe just play some of your favourite songs to bump when you're relaxing.
Sorry to hear about your Mum having a history of PND, hopefully she has been able to discuss any signs of it so you know what to look out for....but just because she had it, I'm sure it wont mean you will be more prone to experiencing it xx