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Feel like my mum is disappointed in me(3 Posts)
Feel like I need a bit of a safe space to rant and share feelings and would really appreciate thoughts on my worries.
I'm 26 weeks pregnant, baby was a total surprise and finding out wasn't the typical celebration. Partner didn't handle the news too well and we lived separately for 3 weeks for him to get his head around it all. Things couldn't be more different now and we're so excited to become a family and he could not be more supportive of me.
I have a super protective mum who lives a few hours away, and she is so so excited to become a nanny. When I first found out I was excited to be pregnant but was very stressed with the way things were between my partner and I, and almost as soon as I moved back home with him I got HG and suffered with it from about 6 weeks until 22. It really impacted the way I felt about the pregnancy as I just wasn't enjoying any of it, lost a lot of weight and most days couldn't do anything but lay and sleep.
Recently my mum keeps making comments toward me about the things she has "expected" of me being pregnant and I just don't know how to handle this? She says things about having thought I'd have already got names lined up, that she thought I'd have had my hospital bags packed weeks ago, she told me she didn't think it was "me" not to have found out the gender.
How do I handle this? I want to tell her to back off but know how much it would hurt her and don't know how much of it is me being hormonal?
Kind words would really be appreciated xxx
I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way. Firstly I’d say pregnancy really heightens your emotions, so things may hurt now, but once you look back you realise it wasn’t so bad.
Also it’s likely when you were having difficult times with your OH you talked to your mum about them. So she may have some anxiety over what you went through.
It really isn’t fair for your mum to have expectations on you right now. There is no right way to feel. HG is debilitating, It’s hard to get excited when you feel terrible.
Any way I’m rambling a bit and not really making any points. But one thing I promise you is, when your baby is here you won’t be worrying about these things.
If it is really upsetting you, have a calm conversation with your mum and explain how you feel.
Take care xx
I agree with @BeMorePacific, understandable to feel you're toes are being trodden on, but once baby is here you'll look back at these comments and think they're so minor, if you remember them at all xx
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