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Not excited about baby

(22 Posts)
Ducky1900 Thu 11-Jun-20 11:15:21

Really struggling with my mood, 10 weeks pregnant with NO2... And really not excited about the baby at all.
Feeling really guilty about feeling like that.
I'm so exhausted, nauseous 24/7, and just can't shake this feeling.

Any tips for shaking this horrid feeling?

OP’s posts: |
Wanderer1 Thu 11-Jun-20 11:18:30

No advice but I did feel the same. Zero excitement with my planned for first until the third trimester. Just couldn't muster any enthusiasm between the sickness, nausea, fatigue and constant questions. I'd see all these people buying stuff for their 'babies' at the same stage as me and feel nothing, I was still referring I it as a fetus!
It will come I think, either in later pregnancy or when the baby is born. Just be kind to yourself xx

Quackersandcheese3 Thu 11-Jun-20 11:23:09

I never understood people who were exited about having a baby, both my pregnancies I was a miserable git.

thunderandsunshine01 Thu 11-Jun-20 11:23:49

You’ve got another 30 weeks to go yet, and you’re experiencing (IMO) the worst of the pregnancy symptoms at this stage so I’m not surprised you’re not buzzing. Much like I’m not excited for Christmas yet as it’s 6 months away, I’m sure as it gets closer the excitement will build. Try not to be too hard on yourself and if you still feel this way once you get to the third trimester, perhaps mention it to your midwife. Best of luck and congrats!

MeadowHay Thu 11-Jun-20 11:25:35

You're so early in your pregnancy, at your gestation I was still mostly bed bound with HG and consequently depressed, definitely not excited!

Pinkblueberry Thu 11-Jun-20 11:30:15

Is it your first? I felt the same at 10 weeks. I felt nauseous and tired and the baby actually arriving felt like a lifetime away. I got a bit more excited once I saw baby on the scan and started to feel kicks - it all feels a bit more ‘real’ then - but I don’t think the excitement really hit me properly until I pushed him out grin I think with your first it can all feel a bit surreal and the reality of it doesn’t really register. I think I would be more excited with my second because I’d have a better sense of what’s to come and it would feel very real from the get go.

ParkheadParadise Thu 11-Jun-20 11:31:05

I felt like that with dd2. I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 5mths. It was a total shock.
At 7mths I suffered a family bereavement. I didn't plan anything for dd2's arrival, my sister's ran around buying clothes,nappies,etc at the last minute.
I told my midwife I didn't want to hold the baby when it was born to give it to dh. When she was born I practically pulled her out of the midwifes arms.
I bonded with her straight away.
Good luck with your pregnancy.

Ducky1900 Thu 11-Jun-20 12:11:54

It's my second.
I felt bad with nausea with DS, but I think I remember feeling different about having a baby first time round.
A little excited and happy invetween the bad times of nausea.

I feel like there's no sympathy or understanding for these first few weeks of pregancy.
I feel like people just think I'm making up the symptoms, and because I don't complain too much, they don't see that actually I'm suffering and it's affecting my mood.

OP’s posts: |
Sazzy312 Thu 11-Jun-20 12:33:05

I've felt totally crap this time round and even though I've seen baby on scan because I've lost ones before I won't be truly excited till its in my arms, I do wish more people would talk about the lows of pregnancy rather than all the hype

Cherryrainbow Thu 11-Jun-20 12:46:42

I felt like that in the first trimester too hun, I'm currently 25 weeks with baby 2. I was crying a lot and felt rough, morning sickness up until recently.
It wasnt really until the 20 week scan I felt more excited, I think cos we found out what we are having it felt more like it was real and I knew it was a her I could plan things like names, finding stuff for nursery and clothes etc. She felt more like a little person, before that it didn't really feel real.
I think with the weird world we are in atm a lot of pregnant people are feeling somewhat deflated and lost, compared to my first pregnancy when I was still going out shopping with mum, meeting friends for meals etc. This time around has been pretty lonely and uneventful.
Hopefully you will find your emotions and things changing soon. Don't be afraid to tell people how you feel, many mums feel the same way as you are at the moment x

Colouringinbook Thu 11-Jun-20 12:47:14

I'm not as excited second time round - I think in part it's because we don't actually need to research and buy things as we already have a branch of Mothercare in our loft. I'm more concerned with getting DS ready for the new arrival and where I'm meant to put a load of baby stuff alongside a load of toddler stuff.

EBM20 Thu 11-Jun-20 15:58:59

I felt like that for a while! My first trimester I was pretty much bed bound with sickness and no energy. Now I'm 16 weeks, fingers crossed sickness has now passed and I only feel sick from time to time. Starting to feel a little excited now that we have a private scan on Saturday to find out the gender. I think with the climate we are in with lockdown, I feel like I'm missing out on all the excitement of showing off the bump, speaking to people and shopping in person for little outfits and the pram. I imagined pregnancy to be a happy exciting time but it's far from it in my experience so your not on your own ❤

crazychemist Thu 11-Jun-20 16:43:50

Perfectly reasonable to feel like this. You probably feel tired, sick and generally shitty, and you've got 30 whole weeks to go. There's not a lot to be excited about at this stage! I don't think I was really excited about DD until the 20 week scan, because she looked so much like a baby at that stage! Before then it all seemed a bit surreal. Currently expecting twins, and I'm more anxious than excited, hoping to feel excited later on.

I imagine lockdown has some impact too - you don't have people around who will fuss about your bump and get all excited on your behalf.

Liverbird77 Thu 11-Jun-20 16:48:23

34 weeks with no2 and feeling exact the same. It's so hard having an 18 month old to run around after as well as being pregnant. The lack of social interaction at playgroups etc also hasn't helped.

MrsJamieLWeir Thu 11-Jun-20 17:34:34

Hope you don’t mind me joining smile so glad I’ve come across this thread, I’m around 9/10 weeks too and really struggling... I was in hospital last week with HG and was starting to feel better after they had given me some anti sickness tablets but they don’t seem to be working only a week later.. I struggle to get out of bed most days because I feel sick from the second I wake up to the second I go to sleep, and any off putting smell or even movement can make me through up. I really don’t know how I’m going to cope another 30+ weeks and feel so guilty feeling like this. I see all my friends pregnancy posts and they all look so happy, wish it was spoken about more!

I have spoken to my sister in law and a close friend as I know they went through something similar so it really does help to have people to talk to. But my god, no one ever prepared me for how hard the first stages of pregnancy can be!

Ducky1900 Thu 11-Jun-20 17:59:24

Thanks for all your replies ladies, feels better to know I'm not alone in feeling like this.
My other half assures me ill feel better after the next scan. I'm not sure. I'm gutted he can't come.

OP’s posts: |
OnlyFoolsnMothers Thu 11-Jun-20 18:02:57

Agreed OP, 19 wks with my second, very much wanted baby, I love them but:
1- lockdown is depressing
2 - don’t need to buy much
3 - we aren’t overly reading up as been there before
4 - I’m partially dreading what I know is coming, birth and sleepless nights but this time with a preschooler confused

babbaganoush Thu 11-Jun-20 18:09:27

I’m currently pregnant (27 weeks) with number 2 and felt exactly the same as you did in the early weeks. It was planned but when it actually happened I just felt a bit numb and indifferent. I was so sick and exhausted looking after my 18 month old. And I felt terrified about the reality of having 2 small children. I cried to my midwife about it at booking saying I didn’t love my baby. The scan helped and I started feeling drastically better when the sickness went and I started feeling little movements. Now I am really looking forward to meeting this little one and I feel so much more positive. It’s such a hard time to be pregnant at the moment. You have my sympathy. It will get better x

Ducky1900 Thu 11-Jun-20 18:39:14

I also have a little one, he's coming up to 21 months.
He's such a good boy I can't complain, but I am Starting to worry about having 2 littluns and how ill manage!
I loved my time with my first as it was just me and him, I BF him, and I could sit and feed and cuddle him all day, and nap when he slept, I know this time will be very different!

OP’s posts: |
burntpinky Thu 11-Jun-20 18:48:46

I’m almost 20 weeks with number 2 and feeling exactly the same. I also have a 21 month old. Am WFH with limited childcare and have another 3 months of doing so (having done 3 months already) until DS1 can go to nursery. I’m exhausted, fed up and it’s killing me. So I just can’t get excited as daily life is making me very depressed. Also dreading the sleepless nights when baby 2 here.

ohhellojo Thu 11-Jun-20 18:49:12

I feel the exact same - I’m 13 weeks and just totally not bothered about anything to do with it at the moment. Doesn’t help I feel sick all the time including waking up in the night gipping and so, so, SO tired. DD is only 11 months so I’m absolutely dreading getting bigger and slower as she starts walking and getting about faster... and then having two under 18 months 🤦🏼‍♀️
You’re not alone in not feeling excited! I just hope this meh-ness goes sooner rather than later.

babbaganoush Thu 11-Jun-20 19:19:38


I also have a little one, he's coming up to 21 months.
He's such a good boy I can't complain, but I am Starting to worry about having 2 littluns and how ill manage!
I loved my time with my first as it was just me and him, I BF him, and I could sit and feed and cuddle him all day, and nap when he slept, I know this time will be very different!

Honestly, I could have written this myself!! This is just how I feel. Mine will be 26 months when number 2 arrives. He is SO full on. Luckily he'll go to nursery 2 days a week so that's something. I've just got used to the idea that its going to be different this time but there will be so many positives too, like seeing them play together etc.

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