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Scared of missed miscarriage

(28 Posts)
mintich Tue 09-Jun-20 19:01:01

I am 8 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks a year before I got pregnant with my 1st child.
For some reason, I have become concerned about having a missed miscarriage (I have never had a missed miscarriage)
Every day I think of reasons that I could go to have an early scan at EPU....but I dont actually do it as I know I'd be wasting their time with a fake ailment for them to check.
Has anyone else had this sort of anxiety with their pregnancy?

OP’s posts: |
crazychemist Tue 09-Jun-20 19:27:28

You poor thing. I think anxiety is pretty common at that stage, I certainly started to feel nervous about then. I think it’s just the lack of visible change - it feels like forever since you got that bfp, but you don’t have a bump and you can’t feel anything, so it seems like nothing’s changing. If something has gone wrong, knowing wouldn’t change it. Hopefully you’ll be able to keep yourself distracted and the time will pass.

NicJayne1 Tue 09-Jun-20 19:28:15

Hi @minitich

I'm nearly 6 weeks now at it's my first time. I'm exactly the same!!

I can't sleep because I'm so worried something bad is going to happen/has happened. I was going to get an early scan but not sure if it will make me worse.

I'm constantly googling and driving myself insane x

VAM24 Tue 09-Jun-20 19:51:27

Have youthoguht about going for an early private scan? They can be expensive around £70 but might put your mind at ease

I am just pregnant again after an MMC so I'm very anxious this time round and have booked an early scan at 8 weeks to try and calm my nerves.

Missed miscarriages are actually very rare so you have a much better chance that everything is perfectly fine so try to focus on that 😊

Hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy xx

Pol96 Tue 09-Jun-20 19:55:02

I could have written this post, I'm 7+5 and so scared about it. I keep debating private scans but also want to wait. I keep googling everything and I'm still testing every week because I've not got a lot of symptoms. So you're definitely not alone with your anxiety x

Willow146 Tue 09-Jun-20 20:29:50

So sorry you’re experiencing this anxiety but I echo previous poster, they are rare. They May seem common when you search on google / forums because you’re searching for it so it’s not an accurate representation xx

Dia12 Tue 09-Jun-20 20:47:17

Oh OP (and PPs) you have just read my mind. I'm first time pregnant 7+4 after a long struggle and almost still in disbelief. Like you, I'm petrified there may be a MMC. Every time I go to the bathroom I'm relieved there isn't any blood but can't fully relax.

Thanks to those who have mentioned it being rare, because that's never really discussed. You're right, reading up on, you're searching for it so it seems it's quite common.

emvy Tue 09-Jun-20 20:55:41

I feel the same! I’m literally only 4+4 though and have miscarried twice at 6.5 weeks (one mc, one mmc). As pp said, I’m relieved when there’s no blood but then I’m worrying that something has gone wrong and I don’t know about it. I have been so so fortunate to have a DS too, after the two miscarriages but it’s strange how the mind just takes you straight back to a negative headspace. I’ve had a stressful day today & those days always make my anxiety worse. I’m convinced of a mmc today. Convinced of it. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Basically I think it’s normal to a degree and stress really doesn’t help so try to relax as much as you can & hopefully find some peace that you’re not alone x

mintich Tue 09-Jun-20 21:12:24

I've no idea where this anxiety has come from! I wasn't like this with my other pregnancies.
I wonder if lockdown has something to do with it. Too much time to think, even though I'm running after 2 toddlers!

OP’s posts: |
VAM24 Tue 09-Jun-20 21:37:26

@mintich I think lockdown does make it all more stressful as much less stuff to distract you from worrying. I also think sometimes this website makes me even more anxious as there can be a lot of bad news but probably because those who are having happy relaxed pregnancies don't need to post so much so we see more of the sad side.

@emvy Today has been a super anxious day for me too! I'm pretty sure most of my 'symptoms' like cramping and minor nausea are actually from panicking rather than hormones as I'm still so early (5 weeks tomorrow) - then I worry than panicking is bad for the baby and then panic more. Not a fun cycle lol!

Hopefully we all feel a bit calmer tomorrow. At this point I'm very grateful to be pregnant so going to try and calm down and wait it out.

Keeping my fingers crossed for everyone 😊 x

zscaler Tue 09-Jun-20 21:39:25

I was anxious about this all the way to my first scan, so a big handhold from me! It helped me to remind myself just how rare MMC is flowers

emvy Tue 09-Jun-20 21:45:47

@VAM24 that’s exactly what I’ve done today! I’ve had the same 2 symptoms but barely any of my waves of nausea today so that’s fully stressing me out.. as if anything is consistent at any point, let alone less than 5 weeks 🙄😂

mintich Wed 10-Jun-20 17:10:52

I've felt a lot better today. I was starting to feel a bit nuts! Glad to hear it's pretty normal although it'd be better if none of us felt like that!

OP’s posts: |
Twitchett22 Wed 10-Jun-20 17:53:56

I previously posted a thread exactly the same as this - really anxious about it for no reason. With my first I lay awake all night before my scan worried that there would be nothing there when they scanned me and this time I was exactly the same. I've had my scan today and all was absolutely fine! I also toyed with the idea of an early scan but something can still happen to the baby between that and a 12 week so I didn't see the point. I think its normal because obviously all we've had to off is a positive test and until you actually see baby on a scan you don't believe it! I'm sure all will be fine for you too, it just feels like foreverrrr waiting!

emvy Wed 10-Jun-20 18:00:10

I’m feeling a bit better today, too. Yesterday was a stressful day for me with other things so I don’t think that helped.

Thank you for your message @Twitchett22, Congratulations on your 12 week scan x

mintich Wed 10-Jun-20 18:46:23

@twitchett22 glad your scan was all ok!

OP’s posts: |
Elephantonascooter Wed 10-Jun-20 18:57:49

I feel exactly the same. I've booked an early scan at 7 weeks to check for a heartbeat, although I'm not sure when the heartbeat happens (I'll be somewhere between 6 and 7 weeks at the time of scan depending on what date I go off). It's reassuring to hear it is rare b6t I am also greatful every time I go to the loo and don't see red

MahamChoudhury Wed 10-Jun-20 19:30:34

Exact same feelings. I wake up in the middle of the night due to the fear. I am 10+2 weeks and have my 12 week scan in a week's time. I am just praying all the time that the baby measures well and it's not a mmc! I just sent a message to a friend telling her that pregnancy is the most scariest ride I have ever been on. That's saying a lot coming from someone who has seen her mother pass away at 12 years and her father shot at 3 times a few years ago.

Carabu1 Wed 10-Jun-20 19:37:24

I hear you! I’m really struggling with the worry - I have days where it’s all I can think about. I had a scan at 10 weeks and it was fine, but I still have about 12 days to my official 12 week one. Really doesn’t help that I have absolutely no symptoms! I think it must be a really common fear - and statistically, we can’t all be justified as it is quite rare. Not that that makes me feel any better!

SpillTheTeaa Wed 10-Jun-20 19:55:51

I was very naive when I was pregnant but once I started reading about things yes I got very worried. It's natural. It's the unknown isn't it. Until you can feel them moving there isn't much reassurance and even then you get worried if you feel they are different 😔

LiliPad28 Thu 11-Jun-20 00:25:41

@mintich I’m still feeling this way at 13 weeks, I’m not sure it’s ever going to subside to be honest.

I’m terrified of a missed miscarriage even tho my 12 week scan was fine, and I’ve had no bleeding or cramping.

I have anxiety anyhow, maybe it’s the hormones making things worse!

Dia12 Thu 11-Jun-20 22:53:53

Must be so nice to have cleared the 12w scan. Rates of mc drop massively don't they? Also nice to know you're in 2nd trimester too. Hope it all goes well for you.

I've been feeling a bit off generally today, pretty much nausea free today but still felt very tired and generally a bit "off". Don't know why I feel down, I think it could be the bad weather and feeling fed up of being at home. Desperately need a change of scenery.

I know restrictions are easing and some bubbles of households can merge but being pregnant, DH and I still want to hold out for a while longer. It's going to be very lonely.

Shrewsdoodle Fri 12-Jun-20 15:33:23

I was terrified of a missed miscarriage so I went for an early private scan at 9 weeks rather than wait. Six week pregnancy at 9 weeks! Strangely now it's happened I'm not worried about it for future pregnancies. If it happens again it just delays the plan to have a baby.

Miscarriage is so so common and you have no control over it. It's horrible but an awful lots of pregnancies miscarry, it's pretty normal. To be honest my miscarriage was so drawn out I was just really fed up by the time it was all over.

mintich Wed 08-Jul-20 15:06:37

UPDATE: Had my 12 week scan today and all is ok. But I was so worked up yesterday!

OP’s posts: |
Pol96 Fri 10-Jul-20 17:15:58

@mintich that's great news! I've got to wait till the 15th I'll be 12+6 by lmp and already stressing!

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