Pregnant and starting a new job

[lilypad88]

Hi all,

I'm currently 6 weeks pregnant and have been out of job since the pandemic, I just accepted a job offer and should be starting on the 6th of July, I'll be about 10 weeks.

I'm literally panicking, I was meant to start this month but for some logistic reason they can't make me start before 6th of July...

I haven't told them yet I'm pregnant as I am so early still (haven't even had a scan or blood test done confirming my pregnancy yet...)

So really just need some bits of advice here :s if anyone have been in my situation, what did you do? When did you tell them? How was their reaction? And can they fire me during my probation because of that?...

[Indigogirl88]

Hey just thought I'd share my experience. Firstly no they cant sack you for being pregnant (or the fact you didnt tell them)

I found out I was pregnant having already accepted a job and was due to start in 4 weeks time. I was panicking so much and had no idea what to do.

What I had to accept was that I'd only get smp or maternity allowance. Either way i would be happier in my new job so decided to take it.

Then lockdown happened so I decided to wait till my 20 week scan to tell them, would have had to tell them earlier but was at home in joggers (working). I'm glad I waited to be honest but I had worked it up to a massive deal but actually everyones been lovely.

You dont have to tell them till week 25 so that's worth thinking about however you may have no choice but to tell them early if you are feeling sick.

Also I thought to myself anything can happen especially in those early days so i might have missed a good opportunity which I'd have regretted not trying at.

Good luck!

[Indigogirl88]

Should have put that I was about 8 weeks when I started the job and didnt tell them till I was there for 3 months and already proving I could do the job so they couldn't come back on that, not that they are allowed to discriminate against pregnancy however if they dont know your pregnant then you cant use thay excuse.

[lilypad88]

@Indigogirl88 Thank you for sharing your experience! 🙏🏻

Yes, it would be easier I guess with the lockdown, but by the time I start I don't know if we will be back to the office or not.. And eventually I will start showing not long after, I wouldn't be able to wait until 25 weeks I don't think... I would want to wait until I get my 12 week scan at least though..

Yes exactly, I wouldn't want to miss a good opportunity, this job is also a dream job for me, I wouldn't care so much otherwise tbh, so I really don't want to lose this job, I'd be gutted... But I obviously don't want to look like a dishonest person either 😫

Did you feel they were a bit annoyed at all?

[lilypad88]

When did you start showing in your case actually? Like to a point people are able to notice?

[Boomclaps]

I didn’t find out I was pregnant until 11 weeks.
The nurse I saw in minor injuries said it was super common to find outAt 2-3 months.
I started a new job at about 5 weeks and had no idea!

[lilypad88]

@Boomclaps yea, I guess if you're not tracking and testing like I did you wouldn't know that early on 😅 how did your company take the news?

[Boomclaps]

Not even that! I was BBT, and testing. I was having small bleeds, and negative tests. (Which again is much more common than we were led to believe!) It was only that I had been taken Into hospital with the worst UTI and dehydration, that they found out. Which was lovely, but scary. 🥰

Work were fantastic though! Absolutely chuffed for me! I’m due in 8 weeks!

[NameChange30]

Congratulations on your pregnancy and your new job.

Most women don't start showing for quite a while in their first pregnancies (subsequent pregnancies are another matter!) so you don't need to worry about that at all. If you're paranoid about showing you can choose your clothes carefully, tops and dresses that are loose, etc.

Many people wait until after their 12 week scan before announcing pregnancy to other people, I told close family before that but waited until after the scan before telling my boss.

I would suggest that you give yourself a few weeks to settle into the new job, have your scan (just book annual leave or tell them it's a "medical appointment" and don't specify) and then just tell them.

By law you're protected from discrimination at work during pregnancy (and maternity leave). Maternity Action has helpful info on their website about your rights.

FWIW I got pregnant with DC1 around the same time as starting a new job, and I was really nervous about telling my boss, but she was lovely about it! So you might be pleasantly surprised. (I'm still working there and pregnant with DC2 now )

[lilypad88]

@Boomclaps oh that's crazy indeed! Such an amazing outcome though 😍 so glad to hear all went well! You must be so excited now, not long!

@NameChange30 thank you 😊 sounds like a good idea yea.. and yea I wouldn't want to tell anyone apart from close family before 12-15 weeks anyway... glad to hear they reacted well too!

It's soothing me a little to hear you all had good experiences, I really hope they'll react the same way 😬

[Indigogirl88]

Started showing around 12 weeks so i could have told them after the scan but as I was at home didnt need to, I do wish I had told them sooner as they could have had a bit longer to plan. They were a bit "shocked" when I told them but overall pleased and they really want me to come back after mat leave! Good luck and tell them when you feel its right, I'd definitely not miss out on the opportunity though. And as cheese as it sounds theres worse things that have happened

[Fez148]

Hi, I was in that situation with my first pregnancy - I found out I was pregnant on the morning right before my job interview, and 2 months later I started the job. During the first meeting with my line manager on my first day, this was the first thing I said. They were really lovely and supportive, and it was funny really.
Now I'm due to start teacher training in Sept and just found out I'm pregnant again - I told them during the interview that there is a chance I would be, because I had 3 mcs in the last year and I wouldn't put anything off. They were fine with it. But that was before Corona, so now I'm not sure whether I would be allowed to go into a school as a pregnant trainee!
I think it is always better to tell early. Your pregnancy status protects you from being sacked - it can always be interpreted as discrimination - and they can make plans. Recruitment can take ages, especially at the moment.

[lilypad88]

@Indigogirl88 yea you're right... I actually thought about it last night.. If they decide to sack me then it wasn't the right place for me... I wouldn't want to work for a company not being supportive... obviously there is the financial situation but can always find a way...

@Fez148 oh so sweet of them! How did you tell them? ^^
I was actually trying to find some info about that, are you protected even during probation period though? Cause I always thought they wouldn't need a good reason to not continue you if they don't want to..

[Fez148]

@lilipad88 I just came out with it, in my usual blurty way.... :)
maternityaction.org.uk/advice/sickness-during-pregnancy-and-maternity-leave/#
This might help.
From my experience, it is also good to tell someone at work early on - I lost 3 and it was good to have some understanding why I had to take a week off work. They actually told me to go (ok, I broke down in tears in a meeting).

[lilypad88]

@Fez148 ah thank you for this! 🙏🏻
Ohh.. so sorry to hear you had to go through this :(

[Fez148]

@lillypad88 - pregnant now again, so world seems as pink as ever

[lilypad88]

@Fez148 so glad to hear that! Congratulations! 😍

[User8008135]

I would tell your manager under strictest confidence when you get there. They'll need to do a risk assessment, even more of a priority for some companies during pandemic. For example, dbros company offers to minimise time pregnant women are in so sets them up quickly with working at home equipment.

[User8008135]

Congrats though. Oh and you wont get a blood test to verify pregnancy. Just call your gp to book in with your midwife for 8-10 week appointment.

[User8008135]

That sounded a bit flat lol, congratulations

[LiveFatsDieYoGnu]

I wasn't pregnant when I applied for my current job, but by the time I had the interview I had just find out I was 4 weeks pregnant. They offered me the job and then I had to decide whether to take it (and therefore lose out on a good maternity package) and when to tell them if I did take it. I decided to accept the offer but tell the boss in confidence at that point, reasoning that if she was a complete arse about it I'd be better off discovering at that point and staying in my current job. Luckily the new boss was great and I had a very happy 5 months at the new company before going on maternity leave, and I'm looking forward to returning in a few months I appreciate I took a gamble and many women are treated badly in this situation, but it did work out for me. Crucially though, I was ok to stay in my previous job had the new boss acted out about it - if I'd been more desperate for the new job I probably would have kept it quiet a lot longer!

[user4501]

hello! i would so appreciate advice
im at a company, pay not increased for 8 years ive been there, had 2 kids there, and feeling v fed up with lack of progression (they even "demoted" me removing my "manager" title on the first day of my second maternity leave- and only now 3 years later are talking about giving me the title back!! and a small pay rise.....) i work in professional services, so work very long hours and have worked very hard to get the extra qualifications to be here, so its really frustrating.

so ive been interviewing and while ive been successful i cant quite find a role that justifies giving up the (massive) devil i know... until recently. ive juts been offerd one today! but... im about 3 weeks pregnant. very early. the offer letter talks about enhanced maternity, but subject to minimum service requirement (and then doesnt yet state what that it)
my current role would ofer me 4.5m maternity leave.

what would you guys do?

the lack of progression is maddening - admittedly im at a "larger" / "more profitable" company, but treated v much as a cog in a wheel! te new opportunity gives me a more senior posiiotn, pay rise, and i know the boss and its closer to home.
problem is - im pregnant.
i wouldnt qualify for statutory.
and dont konw what the "minimum service" period would be but presumably it would be same as SMP (ie the qualifying week thing?)

ive also had 2 miscarriages in the past... so may miscarry anyway
but maybe worht noting, the company is up for sale at moment so my job could be rocky there if i move, although they have said they will give me a compensation payment and longer notice period in case it is sold which helps.

any thoughts are really wellcome!

also - what questions can i ask them without being caught out? can i pretendi just didnt find out?
my start date would be around 10 november

[user4501]

Anyone?

[user4501]

Sorry that's 5 weeks but 3weeks preg just got first positive yesterday x

[NorthernLass213]

What did you decide? I’m in the same boat now. Just been offered a job and got a positive desk today.