First I’ll say my in laws are lovely however they are really quite overbearing and constantly show up unannounced.
Myself and DP moved house at the start of the year and we’re slightly closer to them, & I’m not kidding when I say they would turn up unannounced 5 days of the week and let themselves in our house. I work from home a lot and when DP wasn’t in I felt so uncomfortable, there was a few occasions I was in the bath with the door open when they walked in without knocking.
Since lockdown they obviously haven’t been coming in the house but still turn up unannounced constantly to visit from a distance, his mum always asks me to get my belly out so she can take photos of it (this makes me super uncomfortable as I’m really self conscious and I hate showing my body off, DP has told her I don’t like it and she just says ‘it’s growing a baby it’s beautiful!’ And continues to take pics of me from all angles) a few times she has got really too close almost touching me which given covid really upset me and I had to awkwardly back off and remind her of the restrictions.
I didn’t want to announce the baby’s gender on Facebook as i just feel like anyone who I wanted to know I would tell personally, she wouldn’t stop going on about how everyone needed to know then posted it anyway.
After telling her it was a boy we made the mistake of mentioning a few names we liked (but nothing ever set in stone as we had literally discussed it for ten mins at most!) my MIL decided she liked a certain name best and that we were definitely going to call the baby that. She went on to buy clothes personalised with this name and told everyone we had decided on calling the baby that (we hadn’t, and I only found out she had bought clothes with the name on because she let slip after a glass of wine). We ended up saying we deffo weren’t calling him this name as it was just a thought and have since kept his actual name a secret. She was a bit miffed and still to this day says she wants us to call him the name she liked best whenever it’s brought up.
My DPs brother and his wife had their first baby last year and the way they went on really stresses me out. When his wife was in hospital they turned up basically the second the baby popped out and wanted in to see him straight away, the hospital staff had to tell them to go away and come back. They didn’t ask if they wanted any visitors but basically decided for them and arranged for the whole family to turn up for visiting without asking which his wife was uncomfortable with as she had quite a bad labour and I think just wanted some peace.
I have a lot of anxiety and I’m a really private person and I honestly can’t think of anything worse than being bombarded with people showing up unannounced when I’ve had the baby. In a way I’m glad there are visiting restrictions at the moment for this reason, however I’m dreading them turning up at our house or telling other people to just turn up without telling us when I’ve got a newborn and am probably sleep deprived.
I know they mean well but it’s got to a point now where I dread them turning up. They’ve turned up at our house 4 times this week and when I see the car outside my stomach sinks. I feel like I can’t relax in my own house now never mind when baby is here. We have tried to politely tell them to back off a bit or even just ask if it’s ok to turn up but they get defensive and I really don’t want to be horrible as I know they’re just excited about the baby.
Has anyone had similar? What did you do? I’m worried if I don’t nip it in the bud now it’s gonna get worse but I really don’t want to come across as a total b*tch
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Overbearing in laws making me dread when baby is here.
47 replies
Lunastar9 · 07/06/2020 06:03
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