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(17 Posts)
Lillian2019 Thu 04-Jun-20 15:17:12

I am really confused, I’m 28, first baby
I had a routine midwife appointment and i switched hospital as my ex partner stopped supporting me (from private). Thats ok as we have gone our separate ways, he has every right as were not married and have never lived together etc. He doesn’t control finances nothing.We haven't had any contact since feb but the midwife has said this is DV as I made a small comment as I felt it to be a little controlling as he stopped care as we decided to go separate ways and anyway and I’m happy to do NHS.

This has been escalated and now SS are involved? I don’t believe my child would be in any danger from any immediate famIly? I have a SS worker asking access to my medical records and stating that this was such a brave move etc?

I’m so baffled - really. I have nothing to hide and want to do things properly but this is so stressful for me and unnecessary. The SS worker even ended the call to say I can call the police if I need to etc? I really am so confused I just went for an appointment enjoying my pregnancy to this. In a matter of days?

I am aware if I get defensive they would think I have something to hide they would be more suspicious.

I have no history of drug abuse, alcohol, DV, foster care. I live alone and have lots of family support. She asked also what would I do if he wanted contact when the baby is born.

Please I would really appreciate some guidance,

Thanks

OP’s posts: |
physicskate Thu 04-Jun-20 15:55:11

If you fully cooperate and there is nothing untoward, then I'm sure it will quickly be resolved. Try to be open and honest.

Ted27 Thu 04-Jun-20 15:57:43

Do you have an email address for the Social worker?

If you do I'd drop her an email to say that you appreciate the concern but you feel that there has been a misunderstanding with the midwife who took a passing remark out of context, and setting out your situation.
If the SW is saying you have been brave it sounds like they are in supportive mode so try not to worry.

ForeverBubblegum Thu 04-Jun-20 16:07:07

I realise this must be stressful but where child protection is involved it's better for them to look and find nothing 99% of the time, the to miss one person/child who needs help.

They'll just do their checks and move on, it really is nothing to worry about.

Lillian2019 Thu 04-Jun-20 16:11:01

Thanks so much guys, just stressing out as I have never been involved in anything like this.

Just wondering if I would need legal help?

Thanks so much

OP’s posts: |
Jessy2903 Thu 04-Jun-20 16:13:18

As above, just email them and say it's totally been taken the wrong way. This could end up being really damaging to him if it progresses to need to clear it up ASAP.
Unbelievable that they've blown it all out of proportion like that!

Luckyme30 Thu 04-Jun-20 16:22:01

At this point I would say you probably don’t need legal advice, although if you feel you’re not being treated fairly then maybe seek some advice - they haven’t said anything about issuing proceedings and anyway they can’t just start issuing legal proceedings without following certain processes first - which won’t just happen overnight. (I work in the legal sector dealing with care proceedings).

I would just co-operate with the social worker, like you say you’ve got no reason for them to be concerned so everything should be fine. Be honest with them and I’m sure there will be no further issues.

As a previous poster said it’s better that they investigate any concerns and be certain it’s nothing then miss a situation that could be life threatening for the child.

Valentinx Thu 04-Jun-20 19:17:19

Hi! just wanted to say as well whether its social services, police, etc, they have a duty of care so even though you may have deemed it a throw away comment saying 'controlling' behaviour, it is something that they take very seriously just in case anything was happening to you that you felt you couldn't talk about.

It is absolutely nothing to be scared or worried about if that is not the case, as previous posters have said just give them a call to clarify. They won't be trying to investigate you or deliberately be trying to make life hard for you i promise, they just have to follow certain protocols to ensure your safety, that's all smile

Lillian2019 Thu 04-Jun-20 20:25:32

Thank you so much everyone - made me feel a lot better. I haven't even had a speeding ticket let alone this so feel bit worried.
Also unfair on the father if he ever wants to be involved. I had one phone call, I assume they will visit.

I have a one bedroom for now will get a two as she gets older. When she asked me what would I do if he wanted contact I said I’m not sure right now as we are not together but probably get legal advice as its still his baby and I don’t have a right to restrict that and I don’t believe shes in harms way.

I feel like when they visit they will gun me down with questions that will make me uncomfortable.

I am so wary now since the midwife did that!

OP’s posts: |
Lillian2019 Fri 05-Jun-20 00:35:25

I also now have a mark in my records? For no reason sad

OP’s posts: |
Boomclaps Fri 05-Jun-20 03:38:54

It’s not a mark on your record you don’t need to worry.
I received some SS support and I’m due in 9 weeks, I am healthy I am happy, I’m going to be a good mum, I am still a working professional.
This involvement from social services was probably done like mine in an early intervention way, to support you if you need it. You can ask for everything to be explained and say it’s overwhelming. They’ll understand ❤️

Good luck

Lillian2019 Fri 05-Jun-20 09:19:55

@boomclaps Ok thank you so much smile. Do you know why they asked how many siblings I have? They ask about some strange stuff

OP’s posts: |
Luckyme30 Fri 05-Jun-20 09:27:55

They will just want to gather up a picture of your circumstances I guess. Maybe to see how much of a support system you have in place.

No one here can give you an answer as they don’t know your exact circumstances - you really need to speak to the social worker when they come to see you - I am sure they will be more than happy to answer your questions and put your mind at ease.
I know it’s easy to say but try and not worry too much, from what you have said you have nothing to worry about, I am sure that your social worker will explain it all to you and be able to put your mind at ease.

Take care

Boomclaps Fri 05-Jun-20 09:33:46

They wanted to know about who I had around me, any other children, bla bla bla.
Personally, my involvement was because it had been highlighted I was living in a flat below one of the witnesses in action I took against abusive exH & it was flaring up PTSD and Anxiety.
They wanted to know a lot, but I work in a field that works very closely with CP SW so I did know what to expect more.
If you call your SW today they should be able to explain everything

Schmooo Fri 05-Jun-20 09:53:04

Sounds like this is just an assessment under S17 - a voluntary basis? So it's ok to say you don't want an assessment and just reassure the social worker that you have support and will be engaging with the health professionals throughout the pregnancy and when baby is born. Don't worry.

Lillian2019 Sat 06-Jun-20 18:07:41

Great thank you everyone.

@schmooo Ah I see, if I refuse the assessment wouldn’t that backfire?

OP’s posts: |
TwinkleStars15 Sat 06-Jun-20 18:25:43

You need to establish whether the assessment is under S.17 (child in need) or S.47 (child protection). I strongly suspect it’s S.17 based on what you’ve said. If you decline to engage in a S.17 assessment then they have two choices; close your file down or escalate to S.47. They would need strong child protection concerns to warrant escalating it, as this would mean they can seek information about you without your consent i.e. from you GP, midwife etc. The outcome of a S.47 assessment would be to either close the case, recommend a child in need plan or hold an initial child protection conference to determine whether a child protection plan is needed.
Based purely on the information you’ve provided, and my experience as a social worker, I very much doubt this will lead to anything.

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