Help me not be a scared wimp

[JKD1982]

Hi ladies
37 weeks pregnant today and it’s all just got a bit much. Like everyone else have been in lockdown and not seen family or friends for 11 weeks. Luckily husband is being amazingly supportive.

I am nervous for going into labour, I have a c section booked for 5 June but I don’t know what to do if he decides to come early. I really want our baby born healthily but just feeling so overwhelmed about it all. Pregnancy is so long and a newborn sounds so challenging. I want to be a mum more than anything but I am just feeling really anxious and overwhelmed about it all.
I think if life was “normal” we would be too distracted to over think, just even if we could go out for pub lunch, or pop to the shops or visit friends and family. But all the time to think and wait is making me more and more nervous.

Anyone else feel the same? Any advice? I am sure that he will be delivered healthily and the c section will be ok. Just feel nervous

Thanks

[mylittlesandwich]

It's so normal to feel like this. I certainly did. It's a huge change. It's such an adjustment and a big responsibility.

I had a c-section and it was a really positive experience. I'm also 6 months down the line. You'll get the hang of it. We're all just doing the best we can.

[JKD1982]

Thank you @mylittlesandwich I’m so glad to hear your c section was a positive experience. I’ve been so lucky to have a really supportive midwife and consultant and a healthy pregnancy. Just the last week weeks waiting seems to be quite nerve wracking! It’s a s**t sandwich cause the first few weeks I was scared for miscarriage and now I feel scared for labour and bringing our baby home. Would like to up the excitement and downgrade the fear...!

[mylittlesandwich]

I was terrified the whole time I was pregnant. I genuinely didn't believe I'd get to bring him home despite knowing I was carrying a healthy baby. I mean good grief he was a giant!
I wasn't excited just nervous, I'm not a maternal person and I don't like kids. He's not like other children though, he's all mine. So squishy and cuddly and he smells amazing. A friend that I met having him passed me her DS when we met up just before lockdown and I freaked.
I'm also so glad I had an ELCS, it was so calm and organised and everyone was happy. I recovered from the spinal really quickly and could have been out of hospital the next day if I wasn't so bent up about breastfeeding.

[JKD1982]

Thank you so much @mylittlesandwich I feel exactly the same. I really appreciate your reply x

[PixieN]

I’m 34 weeks and starting to feel really anxious now too. I’ve got a csection booked towards the end of June and I’m also worried about going into labour beforehand. I think the enormity of it is preying on my mind - the thought of bringing an actual baby home and being responsible for one just doesn’t seem real. I’d actually forgotten that bit in the worry about giving birth when I last had a consultant appointment. She was talking about how busy I’d be afterwards and I thought she was talking about recovery - not looking after the actual baby which is what she meant! 😳

[mouse1234567]

Hi all,
Have def got that anxious feeling towards the end of pregnancy. I’m 37 weeks today. It feels such high stakes now and I’m always worrying about movement etc. I go between wanting him here safe now and then worrying it’s so soon and I literally have nothing organised!

My mental state hasn’t been helped with finding out he is breech and having to decide between an ECV to manually try to turn him or a planned section. Interesting to see there are something others on this thread having a section or having had one. I think I’m leaning more towards a section but just weighing up the risks. How are those feeling who are having a section?

[JKD1982]

Grateful to hear from others also getting close to the end and feeling anxious, I think it’s only natural?

I either feel no movements whatsoever and worry or he is booting me and it hurts! Doesn’t seem to be a happy medium

I think I feel better having an elective c as it’s just a known outcome. The date, the experience, my partner being there for some of it. I know it’s major surgery and has it’s risks but for me with all that’s been going on in the world I need one thing that is clearly planned?! Maybe sounds illogical!

[ThisIsHappening]

I'm 36+5 and have my section booked for 15th June. I'll be 39+6 by then so I'm a little worried about going into spontaneous labour beforehand, that's my biggest fear at the moment!

I'm so grateful to be having an ELCS as, like you, I need that element of control x

[mouse1234567]

That’s great to hear you are both so positive about ELCS. I think I’m doing too much research and worrying myself about complications etc -I need to remember most of the time it is all fine and that birth in itself has risk however it happens.

How early did you find out your section date?

[JKD1982]

I was only confirmed my c section date at 36 week appointment. I was pushing for it since week 28 mainly due to anxiety about birth, mixed with COVID madness and uncertainty and some health related issues.

They have been amazingly supportive in my nhs trust so I am very grateful.

I am also scared @ThisIsHappening To go into labour before hand. I am not getting cramps but definitely feel the baby is low.... keep me posted on how you ladies get on x

[ThisIsHappening]

@mouse1234567 I did LOADS of research around the risks associated with both methods of delivery and for me, a section was preferable. It's far more controlled which i like.

I had my section request granted when I was 25 weeks but only received my confirmed date on Wednesday (when I was 36+1). I knew it would be happening in the 39th week as I don't have any pregnancy related complications or health issues (thankfully) but I'd expected it to be around 39+0 or 39+1. I'm a bit concerned that 39+6 is pushing it to the wire!

[mouse1234567]

@ThisIsHappening thanks for that info. It’s great to hear you have researched so thoroughly. I have three friends who have had emergency sections and they haven’t had any complications and surely with a planned one it’s less likely too. I think I’m just nervous to make a finally decision between this turning procedure or going straight to a section. I wish a doctor could just make it for me!

I feel for you being given such a late date -could you push them to bring it forward at all? Saying that I will prob have a late date if I do need a section as it isn’t organised yet!

[ThisIsHappening]

@mouse1234567 I've read so many positive stories about electives and I've had friends who've had them (as well as VBs) and said they wouldn't hesitate to have another section so that makes me feel really confident.

It is a big decision though so I understand your trepidation about committing to it.

I have my next midwife appointment on the 3rd so might raise my concern about the late section date with her then. I know it's better to let baby cook for as long as possible but the thought of potentially waking up during the night to my waters breaking or having contractions and my nice, calm, planned delivery turning into a mad rush to the hospital and an emergency section fills me with dread 🙈

[JKD1982]

@ThisIsHappening I was totally the same and pushed to get it 39 weeks on the dot. Although I think I am further along that my EDD. But you have to trust the doctors right.

My consultant just said if you go into labour call triage and come in. They will most likely prep you for a section straight away. But do ask for a few days earlier if you can? Wives tale but they say first one is late

[ThisIsHappening]

@JKD1982 my EDD is the 16th and the section is scheduled for 15th 🥴 my consultant also said just to come straight in if labour starts beforehand and they'll treat it as an emergency but I've just read another thread on here where a lady is scheduled to have her elective on Friday but labour has started for her and they are making her wait until she is active labour before they take her to theatre 😳

I just like the thought of being able to mentally prepare for it rather than having it sprung on me 🙈

[mylittlesandwich]

I remember DS being so low I felt like I was sitting on a bowling ball. He however had no intention of making an appearance that I could tell and was born on his scheduled c-section date.

My mum went into spontaneous labour with my sister and they just took her in, it was classed as an emergency but without the urgency of a baby in distress or anything like that so much more like an elective.

My section was only November so if I can help anyone with any questions I'd be happy to help.

[ThisIsHappening]

@mylittlesandwich how far on were you when you had your CS?

[mylittlesandwich]

@ThisIsHappening they brought my c-section date forward because of reduced movements so bang on 39 weeks.

[JKD1982]

I’m so nervous about reduced movements. My boy is active afternoons and evenings but most mornings I don’t feel a thing. Every time I get prepared to go to hospital for monitoring he then does a little kick. Is it ok not to feel movement for a few hours. The last few weeks are so nerve wracking. As scared as I am of the c section if they could do it tomorrow I’d say yes knowing he’s full term and then I don’t have to worry something is wrong

[mylittlesandwich]

@JKD1982 whatever is normal for your baby is absolutely fine. If they usually have a quiet spell then that's normal for you. However if they do anything out of the ordinary, either a reduction or a big increase in movements then it's worth getting it checked out. DS was still moving but it was reduced, that went on for about 10 days leading up to when he was born, the offered me an induction at just before 38 weeks but as I was happier with a c-section they monitored me frequently instead as c-section outcomes are less favourable before 39 weeks.

[JKD1982]

Ok thank you for the info. I must say I’m nervous to go into hospital unnecessarily at the moment so will monitor for the next few hours and see what happens. I’ve felt some slight movement but just not the intensity he usually is.

[mylittlesandwich]

Best bet would be to call the hospital and see what they say. I know it's a horrible time to have to go into a hospital, maybe your midwife could listen in with a Doppler?

[JKD1982]

@ThisIsHappening and @mylittlesandwich

Hi ladies

I’m sorry to tag you and bother you. Had a bad day today, feeling really nauseous and anxious at the same time. Now he’s gone from no movements to constant kicking which is hurting and making it impossible to eat or relax.

I am so sorry to moan but I feel really low and scared. Im scared of the c section, I’m scared of going into labour. Either option I just feel unprepared and overwhelmed. Any kind words would be much appreciated. Sorry x

[ThisIsHappening]

@JKD1982 Hey, don't be sorry!

It's perfectly natural to be a bit anxious this close to the birth. Not only are your hormones running wild, you're also about to experience something completely new.

There are some really good threads on here about positive c section experiences which are definitely worth a read. They could help put your mind at rest a little bit. Is there anything in particular that your scared of or just the surgery in general?

I'm really nervous about going into labour too but I know that if that happens then I have a plan. I'll just phone triage and make my way to the hospital where they will perform the section there and then (or as soon as theatre is free).

You're maybe feeling nauseous as a result of your anxiety (as well as your little one taking up all the room in your abdomen, leaving little space for your stomach). I'm suffering badly with heartburn now because my little guy is taking over in there 🙈

Increased movement isn't generally a concern. An active baby is a healthy baby from everything I've read. If the kicks are painful or uncomfortable it's probably because of the way he's lying. Try changing position - lie down on your left side or take a gentle walk.

Try some breathing exercises to help you relax. Box breathing (google it) is really effective for calming anxiety. If you are really concerned then don't hesitate to contact your maternity unit for some reassurance, sometimes it's the only thing that will help x

[JKD1982]

@ThisIsHappening thank you for your kind message. Maybe it is just the hormones... I’m sure nothing physically is wrong with me or baby just a tough day.

You sound nice and calm and collected for your birth plan which is great to hear. I am mainly scared of the operation as I have a fear of vomiting (pathetic I know) and worried about how ill cope with the drugs and no feeling in my legs etc. Just hope I can stay calm and not panic. I am sure the nhs team will be amazing and kind I’m just a bit of a wimp. Sad but at least I can admit it. Need to find ways to take control a bit and feel brave.
It should be an exciting day to meet our new baby but it’s just over shadowed with me being scared... x