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Pregnancy

Past domestic abuse and pregnancy

16 replies

GreenWillowTree · 19/05/2020 16:25

I am probably going to get flamed for asking about this.

If you had a history of domestic abuse in a previous relationship would you be considered to be a risk to your baby.

The police came our house once when DS was a tiny baby. We were referred for a social services assessment but I had already left with the baby so they closed the case without visiting.

I really want to have a happy stress free pregnancy this time around but I am so worried.

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GreenWillowTree · 19/05/2020 18:07

Anyone?

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ivfgottostaypositive · 19/05/2020 18:34

I think it's unlikely since you are not in the same relationship anymore......UNLESS you were the one accused of being abusive

Viviennemary · 19/05/2020 18:39

Without knowing the circumstances it's impossible to say.

GreenWillowTree · 19/05/2020 19:02

I was never abusive nor acused of being so, but because I called the police it was an automatic referral to social services. I have not had any thing to do with him since and live in a different area.

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Viviennemary · 19/05/2020 19:04

Then it should be absolutely fine and you don't need to worry. IMHO.

GreenWillowTree · 19/05/2020 19:09

I do hope so. I will have to tell the midwife about it. I had some mental health problems in pregnancy that were as a result of the abuse.

I wanted to have a happy new life.

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Williams3001 · 19/05/2020 19:14

If it was your partner who was abusive (or accused of being so), then I don't see why you would be considered a risk at all. If it never went through to social services visit/assessment then it might not even be on your file. And as you say, you're in a different (hopefully much better) relationship now, so I don't see why it would be relevant now either. I wouldn't worry hun.

Ginblooded · 19/05/2020 19:16

Hi, you should be absolutely fine as long as you're not still with him (which I see you've said you're not!) Your midwife may well signpost you to women's aid (or similar) or fill in an EHA with you if you agree to it.
I work with families who have EHA's and have worked with women who have been in the same situation as you. All professionals have been very supportive towards the mums and tried hard to ensure that they had happy pregnancies

Bienentrinkwasser · 19/05/2020 19:21

Your midwife may need to contact social services to confirm that the case is closed and there are no ongoing concerns but it will go no further than that.

GreenWillowTree · 19/05/2020 19:26

I have had a lot of support from Women’s Aid so I wouldn’t mind that but I don’t need that at the moment because I am not being abused.

What is an EHA?

I wanted to have a happy pregnancy as I went through so much last time.

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UrsulaSings · 19/05/2020 19:28

I dont think you have any reason to worry. I have had mental health problems in the past, and I am also in recovery from substance abuse and have been for many years. I was really worried that I would automatically get referred to social services, but the midwife said if she referred me they would just be asking her why because there is no risk to the baby. There has to be a risk to the baby for a current referral to be made.

ohwhattodowithmylife · 19/05/2020 19:29

It will be fine, you acted protectively anyway by leaving. I doubt they will be interested. They only get concerned in cases of DV where the Mother does not leave the relationship or goes back.

GreenWillowTree · 19/05/2020 19:55

Thank you.

Ursula that is reassuring to hear. There is no risk at all to this baby.

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Ginblooded · 19/05/2020 21:34

@GreenWillowTree an EHA is an early help assessment, and it's a tool to assess what support a family needs. She may not even mention it I hope you have a happy pregnancy

GreenWillowTree · 19/05/2020 22:18

Thank you. I don’t think I need any support like that.

I worry that they they will think less of me. I did want to ask for an elective cesarian because I had a previous traumatic birth. I don’t think I could do that now because they would think I can’t cope.

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GreenWillowTree · 21/05/2020 07:34

I have had a look at the questions on the green notes. It asks you if any member of your household has ever had social work support? And what is the name of your social worker?
I have never had support from social services or a social worker.
Am I overthinking this? My appointment is going to be on the phone.

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