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Am i going mad!!!!!!(11 Posts)
I'm looking for some advise. My husband and i have been trying for a baby for 5 months i know thats not a long time but no one told me it would be this hard!! I'm finding the wait every month really difficult and i didn't expect it to be like is! I thought, maybe stupidly, that we'd plod along, enjoying the practice and if nothing happened after a year then we'd go through the proper channels. But every time my period arrives i find myself turning into an emotional wreak! My husband has been v.supportive but i think he's starting to think i'm overreacting and is tired of going over the same thing every month which is leading to arguments between us.
I'm also seeing babies everywhere i go at the moment something i never noticed before which is bringing the green eyed monster out with avengence!
I'm sure there will be people who think i'm being pathetic and i've already been told than its all in my head and what about the women who have trouble conceiving or can't have children.
So any pratical advise would be greatly welcomed as i have so many questions.
Hi Kgirl, so sorry to hear you are having a hard time ttc, I dont really have any advice for you as such, other than maybe sit down with your DH and try to talk through your feelings of upset with him.
Hope fully someone who has some advice for you will be along in a minute, I didn't want this thread to go unanswered.
You are being totally normal! All my three took weeks only to ceonceive; ewhen this one took 8 months I reacted in exactly the same way as you with waiting each month, seeing babies everywhere. Don't lose heart though- chances are good it will happen for you soon X
hiya no you are not going mad it took me 9 months to get pregnant with my first. Like you say you spend years trying not to get pregnant then you make the big grown up decision to ttc and you expect it to happen straight away and every time it doesn't you get so down because everywhere you look theres babies and bumps.
Come over to the ttc in September thread we are all as mad as you are, all questions about trying for a baby will be answered too as someone will have been through the same thing.
Kgirl I can empathise hon, it took us 8 months to get a BFP and I really felt the strain on our relationship. It doesnt feel like a long time until you get the other side of it how useful a crystal ball would be! I found that trying a different thing each cycle to try to make a difference helped, even if it was psychological. For example, how well do you know your cycle? Are you keeping an eye on tell tale signs of ovulation and maximising your chances each cycle by getting as much action as you can in around those times? Do you feel you lack the appropriate CM to help the semen reach the egg? If so, grapefruit juice can help, have to tried pre-seed? Legs in the air after sex? All these things could make the difference and could make you feel as if you are making a difference too. I also tried reflexology and reiki and I charted my temperature, CM etc I got pretty obsessed with it all . Best of luck hon, hope you get that BFP soon.
Really sorry to hear you're having such a hard time trying to conceive but I do sympathise with you as I know how desperately you feel.
I remember when we were trying and it took alot longer than 5 months (nearly 2 years TBH) but it wasn't until I 'stopped' wanting it sooo much that I finally conceived. In fact it was my DH who noticed that my period hadn't arrived that month.
I know it's easier said than done, but try not to think about it all the time and if, like you say, nothing happens after a year of trying, go and talk to your GP.
I can only suggest what Sweetkitty said, go to the Conception board and join the threads there. You'll find lots of women who are going through the same trauma as you and completely understand how it feels. I would have been lost without them when I was ttc. It's amazing how mental ttc will drive you! I had no idea until I tried!
Thanks for replying and making me smile i don't feel like i've done that in a while
oh kgirl, i HATE ttc. every af feels like a failure and every bfp terrifies me. i have seen many, many people come and go on the ttc boards and i hate the person that ttc has made me, i dread friends and family announcing bfp's/births.
it will all be worth it one day. echo everyone else, join us on the ttc boards, we'll help you
A reply to MrsMcJnr i think i've got a grip on my cycles. I was on the implant for 18 months and the injection for 5 years before that and i know that both of them can take a while to get out of your system! But i think my cycles are now pretty regular and the sameish time every month. I'm still trying to work out good signs of ovulation though any advise there would be good.
Sweetkitty hit the nail on the head when u say u try for ages not wanting it to happen but the moment u do it goes the other way! I was 16 when i got with my husband and i made sure i wasn't a teenage mum now i'm 24 i feel ready for it but natures going to make me work for it!hmm
Lifes a bitch!!
The TTC threads are fab for help - that's where I learnt all about it. Prior to ovulation, your CM should start to change from creamy to clear and slippery, you might even feel some pains in one side or the other. Aim to have sex each day your CM is clear and lubricative. Bear in mind that the day you ovulate can change each cycle and it might not be CD14 as a lot of guides say, I for example always ovulate after CD16. Hope that helps
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