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Feeling down...

(4 Posts)
moon21 Fri 14-Feb-20 11:09:49

Hi ladies, I hope I've posted this in the right place, apologies if not.

I'm 20 years old and 37+5 weeks pregnant. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years and this will be our first baby.

I'm terrified for everything. I'm terrified for childbirth and how I will deal with that. How I will handle the pain? Will I make it through ok? Will my baby make it through ok?

Then I'm terrified for afterwards. Will I make a good mum? Will I bond and connect with my baby? I've never been the maternal type. What if she doesn't want me and constantly cries when she's with me? What if only her dad can settle her and I can't (he's amazing with children). I'm scared of how much our lives are going to change and they're going to change forever. I'm scared of how having a baby will affect our relationship. Will we cope? What if this breaks us? We've been so strong for 7 years and I love him unconditionally, he's not just my boyfriend but he's my best friend too. This is going to be the biggest test of our relationship and nothing will ever be the same again. I just want to sit here and cry. I've been asking myself only recently, what the hell am I doing?

For the whole of my pregnancy, I've been experiencing a mixture of emotions. The majority of the time I've been happy and excited but the past couple of days, everything has just dawned on me. I know there is nothing I can do now and I just have to hope all will be ok. I know it's going to be the hardest thing I've ever done but I'm not sure I'm strong enough for it.

I've spoken to my boyfriend about this and he reassures me. He's so calm and relaxed. He says we will be ok but I'm just terrified...

P.s. we are ok financially, money is not an issue at all and thats probably the one thing I'm not worried about

moon21 Fri 14-Feb-20 20:15:10

Anyone?

Anniepole Sat 15-Feb-20 08:54:27

Hello, I don't have much advice because I am only in early pregnancy with my first but hoping replying will bump this post.

Some of these thoughts I've already had too I think they're completely normal. Try and write down all the positive thoughts you are having in a journal every single evening and then keep reading them back and hopefully this will help reaffirm some good thoughts too.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this xx

Preggers86 Sat 15-Feb-20 09:26:37

What your feeling is completely normal. I think it happened to me around 36 weeks when the reality of what was about to happen hit me. I had a long and honest conversation with my partner about my feelings and worries. It didn't make them go away but it did ease them enough for me to get on with the rest of my pregnancy.

Although I can't comment on the labour side of things as I never actually had the chance to experience it, I am sure you will be fine and you will be in the best hands. The hospital team will be there making sure that you and your baby are comfortable and safe.

As to the rest, I am not going to lie and say it is easy because its not, its the most nerve-wracking thing ever knowing that someone is so dependent on me and that I have to guess what they are wanting all the time and if I had doing it right. However I am currently sat here having the best morning cuddles with my 13 week old tinker and can honestly say it is the best thing to have happened to me. I now have a purpose, I am a mum and I may not get it right all the time and I may still be learning everyday but she doesn't care or judge me.

I had the the same concerns about my relationship but together we get through each day and he is still very much my best friend. It may sound cliché but I feel like we are closer now than before because we both share the same love for our little person.

So dont be too hard on yourself and talk to your partner be open and honest with him (he may be having the same worries as you) and you can deal with everything as a team. And as for when the little one gets here just enjoy every minute of them, they grow so quick. My midwife gave me some advice she said listen to the advice that people give but ultimately do it your way because you know your baby best.

Good luck moon I am sure you will be amazing xxx

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