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(24 Posts)
denbyellie Thu 13-Feb-20 16:22:33

I was super anxious and nervous before my 12 weeks scan last week and then I've had a week of peace when i found out everything was okay, but I'm stressing now waiting for my gender scan in a months time that I've booked.. is there days where you just don't feel pregnant? How do I keep my anxiety under wraps 😩 I've had two previous miscarriages before 12 weeks that's where this fear stems from sad x

LH1987 Thu 13-Feb-20 16:26:42

TBH from 12 weeks to about 21 I can't say I 'felt' very pregnant at all! Any symptoms I did have would come and go on various days and were not consistent. Its really difficult, but try to remember that the odds of having a miscarriage after a good 12 weeks scan are very very low. Could you maybe speak to your midwife to talk about your anxiety and see if any counselling could be offered?

You0401 Thu 13-Feb-20 16:29:52

I've also experienced MC and know exactly what you mean. The anxiety can be overwhelming. Unless you have pain/ bleeding, then it's very unlikely that anything is wrong... try to keep this in mind.

For me, it gets easier once you can start to feel movements, as you can feel that the baby is OK. Although then, of course, I start to get anxious that I haven't felt ENOUGH movements! I think it's just part of being a mum, the worry never stops... even once the baby arrives.

Sorry not lots of help, but wanted to say I completely understand how you feel.

denbyellie Thu 13-Feb-20 16:31:39

Thankyou guys! @LH1987 @You0401 !!

Was just wondering when did you start feeling movements? Because I feel like this will be when I can ease my mind a little bit, I'm always going to worry but this stage when your early pregnancy symptoms wear off is the worst because I just don't even feel pregnant at all! Xx

Leebeemarie Thu 13-Feb-20 16:59:42

Hey! I know it's so easy to tell you not to stress but like pp said unless any bleeding or pain it's very unlikely anything will be wrong.
I cant say with great confidence as I am very similar to yourself, I've had 5 MC's and I am currently 15+4, we've had scans basically every 2 weeks up until my official '12 week' scan (had at 15+1) it does get a little easier the further along you get and 12 week is a massive stage as rate of MC drops below 5%.

I'm wishing you the best of luck!! xx

denbyellie Thu 13-Feb-20 17:03:31

@Leebeemarie the anxiety's just the worst partsad every twinge or cramp I get I automatically think the worst but I've just got to keep remembering it's my belly stretching and this trimester is supposed to be quite relaxed and then the third trimester is when It gets hard again xxx

LH1987 Thu 13-Feb-20 17:09:18

I didn't feel any movements until 21 weeks (Sorry probably not good news!), when it happens it does make me feel better knowing she is moving and making her presence known. As pp said now I worry if I cant feel her for an hour or so, so in reality I think I am doomed to be anxious for the full pregnancy! Again, probability would say everything is absolutely fine. I think after 12 weeks it is about 98.5% that all will be fine, if I was given those odds on anything else I would be putting a large bet on it!

You0401 Thu 13-Feb-20 17:35:25

First pregnancy, I think I felt movements around 20weeks. Current pregnancy, felt little flutters much earlier at around 16weeks. I'm now 26weeks and feel strong movements all the time.

Like others have said, chance of MC is much, much lower now you have reached the 12 weeks mark. Hold onto that fact and try to enjoy your pregnancy (easier said than done, I know!)

denbyellie Thu 13-Feb-20 17:42:08

@LH1987 @You0401 Thankyou! I am so impatient 😩 after two miscarriages it feels like the longest ever time I am just so glad everything's looking okay xx

Nowayorhighway Thu 13-Feb-20 17:56:23

I’m afraid to say my anxiety never disappeared. I worried about all of the scams, when they came back as ok I then worried about his kicks. I would sit there almost having a panic attack if he hadn’t kicked for half an hour... Once he was born the anxiety then turned to worrying about SIDS. I’ve only recently started to relax and he’s 15 months old.

He was born after two missed miscarriages. I think the fact they were missed ones made all the difference to my mental health, I had no symptoms of miscarriage at all so I was blindsided.

Foxd0g Thu 13-Feb-20 17:56:56

Aww OP totally get how you feel! I'm 23 weeks now but had a MMC last year prior to this pregnancy and had so much anxiety it was unbelievable!

Remember that at 12 weeks and after a normal 12 week scan your risk of miscarriage is significantly smaller.

I know it's not advised by midwives but I had this exact issue between weeks 12 and 20 and bought an Angelsounds Doppler, which was about £20 on eBay. I'd listen in to baby when I was worried and found it a positive bonding experience. I could always find his heartbeat, but knew he could be hiding away so didn't worry if I couldn't hear it straight away.

As soon as I started feeling him kick I haven't used the Doppler since!

I think you have to be sensible with it, and not for everyone but definitely eased my anxiety!

Good luck OP, you'll be fine! thanks

denbyellie Thu 13-Feb-20 18:36:38

@Nowayorhighway mine were also missed and that made my anxiety worse sad because they were unexpected.. I'm glad your anxiety has started to settle! It's a mixture of anxiety and excitement I'm feeling and then sometimes I feel bad for feeling excited as though I'm jinxing my pregnancy as such.. my heads such a mess sad x

denbyellie Thu 13-Feb-20 18:37:48

@Foxd0g I've ordered a Doppler off amazon but it's taking soooo long to come! Might order the one you ordered off eBay.. how much was it? Did it come quite quick? Xx

denbyellie Fri 14-Feb-20 01:03:57


Elderflower99 Fri 14-Feb-20 06:51:44

Funny you should say this i also had my first scan last week! Before the scan i felt really nervous and anxious because i didn't know what to expect and basically had no symptoms. The scan went well and everything is fine, and even though some days i think to myself apart from feeling really exhausted all of the time i do feel normal. I think we have to trust our bodies to get on with the process and wait patiently for our scans hmm mine is at the start of April and time is going too slow ☹️

BeautyAndTheBump1 Fri 14-Feb-20 07:19:59

I was exactly the same, I had my sexing scan at 15 weeks and was still terrified I'd go & he wasnt okay. I started to feel movement every day from 16 weeks but at the 20 week scan I was still terrified incase 'they weren't actually movements and I was feeling things that I thought was' after my 20 week scan and I saw him moving on the screen & could feel it at the same time it reassured me and I've been fine since, but it is soooo tough before 20 weeks!!

CoolNoMore Fri 14-Feb-20 08:14:46

I find this calculator really helpful:

After 12 weeks the chances of miscarrying are really low, even factoring in previous miscarriages. Worrying is normal, but no fun! I hope the next six months fly by without a hitch. Chances are, they will smile

cloclo92 Fri 14-Feb-20 08:15:16

I know exactly how your feeling. Iv had two miscarriages got to my 12 week scan third time round and all was perfect thank god! 🤞🏻
I was the same as you fine for a week then the anxiety started eating me up!
I started getting stretchy pains at 13 weeks and it took me back to my miscarriages! I literally got so low for a week and I decided to go to my GP and talk things through. They have referred me to a specialist maternity service who hopefully will help me! I'm 16 weeks tomorrow and I defo have my good and my bad days still. I heard the heart beat 2 days ago which is always reassuring smile

I also have a home Doppler but I only use it when my cousin ex midwife comes over to use it on me. Just be careful you no what your listening to.
But I agree if you can check in on them it really does help.
Good luck and speak to your GP. I don't mind if you want to contact me direct considering we are going through what seems the same kind of thing.

Ps talk to people as well. It definitely helps. Cos I kept everything so secret x

denbyellie Fri 14-Feb-20 09:08:27

@cloclo92 can I message you? Xx

cloclo92 Fri 14-Feb-20 14:54:12

@denbyellie of course you can x

denbyellie Fri 14-Feb-20 23:57:54


itsemily Sat 15-Feb-20 08:23:47

I had my 12 week scan this week and I felt over the moon seeing the little one bouncing about inside me , doing little flips and being very active ! Then I started getting a few cramps this morning and now I’m back to square one of worrying 😩😩😩 my 20 week scan isn’t until 9th April !! So I’ve booked in for one at 16 weeks privately to ease my mind a bit !

denbyellie Wed 19-Feb-20 13:41:40


denbyellie Wed 19-Feb-20 13:42:17

@itsemily I've done the exact same thing! I feel the exact same as you sad xxx

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