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Pregnant after loss and dreaming of rainbows....

(919 Posts)
Avocuddles Tue 21-Jan-20 18:22:44


Starting a thread for ladies in early pregnancy after one or more miscarriages or stillbirths. A safe place to let off steam and hopefully grow healthy rainbows together......

Avocuddles Tue 21-Jan-20 18:29:59

My story.....

Age 36. Found out last week that I am pregnant for the third time. I have been TTC for 20 months and had two miscarriages; first at 7wks in may 2019 and the 2nd at 8 weeks in September. Both passed naturally though were missed miscarriages in so much as I had scans which showed that development wasn't occurring prior to the natural process. I have a history of clotting so am on enoxaparin injections and baby aspirin as well as various vitamins. Feeling pretty scared and not that optimistic at the moment but trying to remember that this is a new pregnancy and technically the odds are in my favour! I have very irregular cycles and was about to start ovulation induction treatment on my next cycle when I got the most recent unexpected BFP. Hope we are all here for the duration!

Lucyabraham87 Tue 21-Jan-20 19:12:25

Hi, nice to see a thread like this, my anxiety is off the scale. Will be 10 weeks tomorrow, pregnant after 2 miscarriages (17 weeks and 8 weeks) last year and a chemical. Worried everyday, midwife told me to think of it as a new pregnancy, but it's so hard. Especially as I keep getting twinges of back pain and that's exactly how I knew I had lost the other two, before scans confirmed it. Had 3 scans so far.

London91 Tue 21-Jan-20 19:50:37

I'm 28 and by my dates 8+1 but had a scan today and have been told I'm 8±4. I have had 3 MC's at 5, 6 and 7 weeks, thankfully without complications. I'm petrified as I have had some spotting but had a scan today and everything looked good with a good strong heartbeat.

Keeping them crossed for us all ladies!

Avocuddles Tue 21-Jan-20 21:08:37

Hi @Lucyabraham87 and @London91. I'm glad everything is going ok for you both at the moment, it's really encouraging that you've had positive scans. I've got almost 3 weeks to go until my 7 week scan which feels like a lifetime away at the moment. I've had back pain and crampy feelings from the start which is much the same as the previous times but I'm trying to stay positive. How on earth did you cope during the very slow first few weeks? I hope everything continues well for you both!

@LASandOtto @SunStruck tagging you to join us here.....

mable88 Tue 21-Jan-20 21:14:20

May I join please? Currently 9+5, pregnancy number 3 after a MC at 8 weeks and a blighted ovum at 10 weeks last year. Have had 2 scans at 6 and 9 weeks and all looking good so far; I was commenting to my husband how weird it is to go for scans and for them to go well, as previously I’d only ever been scanned after bleeding and cramps and been told bad news. Fingers crosse: for lots of lovely sticky beans for us all! x

London91 Tue 21-Jan-20 21:31:26

@Avocuddles As silly as it sounds, try to take each day as it comes. I've not been thinking long term just about getting to the next week. I have been a nervous wreck. Could you book a scan for 6 weeks or is it an NHS scan, I know some trusts don't scan before 7 weeks.

TwinkleStars15 Tue 21-Jan-20 21:45:23

I am currently 7 weeks after 3 miscarriages; one in March 2017 at 11 weeks, one in September at 5 weeks and one in October at 4.5 weeks.
I’m on Clexane injections for a blood clotting disorder, baby aspirin and progesterone suppositories! Had a scan at 5+1 which showed a gestational sac and yolk sac and another scan at 6+1 which showed a teeny tiny baby with a heartbeat.
The first week was definitely the slowest, and most terrifying, but as the days have gone on it’s been a little easier to manage. Hoping and praying that this little one sticks around!

Lucyabraham87 Tue 21-Jan-20 22:12:38

@avocuddles I've found the weeks to drag so much, especially as I'm not experiencing much of the symptoms I've had before, was so sick when pregnant with my last two miscarriages, so every day I find I'm prodding my boobs and hoping I feel sick. Doesn't help that January feels like it has 2753 days in it anyway. I am gong for chromosome testing this week, and I'm hoping that if results are OK from that I can relax a little. Crossed fingers for you and everyone in here

Avocuddles Tue 21-Jan-20 22:41:17

Hi @mable88 glad your scans have gone well so far, I'm really hoping I finally get a good one! I did see a heartbeat last time but was measuring behind and knew in my heart it wasn't going go work out.

@London91 it's an nhs scan at 7 weeks. I did have a private one last time but don't want to repeat it as it was a bad experience for me - things clearly weren't right given that I was very clear on my dates but they just kept trying to fob me off that it was ok. I started miscarrying naturally just a few days later 

@TwinkleStars15 well done on making it to a healthy 6 weeks scan, great progress! Do you have another scan booked?

I really do hope that we all have our rainbows on the way. It's comforting to know there are others who understand how hard and lonely this experience is. I feel so envious of those who actively enjoy the experience of early pregnancy!

SunStruck Wed 22-Jan-20 01:26:09

@Avocuddles - Great initiative and such a beautiful name of the thread! 🌈

So many people already so won't tag, but speaking to you all ☺️ I'm 36 and this is our first time TTC. We started in February last year, and I've been pregnant twice since - First ended in MMC at 10 weeks (d&c) , second was an early loss at 6 weeks (natural). After the d&c I needed another a few months later as I still had retained products, so we really haven't had many chances (cycle wise) to try! Obviously stressed about age hmm

I just found out I'm pregnant again last week, currently 4+2. Booked in for an early scan in 2 weeks' time and bricking it (as a lady said upthread... I've never had a positive scan apart from my very first one with the MMC where heartbeat was seen).

I have PCO (not the syndrome though) so don't know if this our my age is contributing to the miscarriages. Hopefully this one sticks ❤️

So sorry to hear about all your losses, I'm hoping for rainbows for us all!

Sunflower1608 Wed 22-Jan-20 07:01:39

Hi, feel better posting here then the TTC thread, as found it so hard hearing about others BFP's when TTC.
Just found out I'm pregnant, will be 4 weeks. Been TTC for almost a year and had a miscarriage at approx 6weeks in September. This will be my fourth child (my partner's first).
I had almost given up TTC, but decided my new year's resolution was to not put everything on hold this year just in case I conceived. So I booked 2 holidays, a gym competition and a couple's pole dancing/acro work shop 🤣.
Now I'm just so nervous to get my hopes up that this bean will be sticky

London91 Wed 22-Jan-20 07:59:25

@Avocuddles Try to do some nice things for yourself to help the time pass, organise things that make you happy. Lunch with friends, dinner with DP/DH, having your hair done or nails done. Little treats to look forward to. Keeping them crossed for you. flowers

TwinkleStars15 Wed 22-Jan-20 09:44:22

@Avocuddles the Early Pregnancy Unit booked me another scan for 9+3 but my anxiety means that I can’t wait that long, so I have booked a private reassurance scan for Friday morning. I’ll be 7+5. I have seriously considered cancelling it and waiting, but DH wants to tell his mum on Saturday as it’s her birthday so I want to make sure that baby is still developing, I couldn’t bear to tell her and then find out the following week that something has happened - one, she’ll be upset, and two, I wouldn’t be able to deal with the sympathy and discussion about it, if that makes sense?

InDreamland Wed 22-Jan-20 12:56:09

@Avocuddles and ladies! Lovely to see so many new BFP's! Congratulations! Come join us here it's an established thread (2nd of the penguin huddle series following the TTC After Pregnancy loss thread .......there's also now one for babies born!). If you were on the TTC thread you'll recognise names there. Would love to see you all there and sharing the ups and downs of pregnancy after loss xxx

Avocuddles Wed 22-Jan-20 15:52:07

@InDreamland hi! I've been following your thread ever since I left it four months ago. We will probably head over shortly but as we're all very much in the danger stage thought it would be good to huddle together until we're past the scariest weeks as so many of you are now in or approaching the third trimester so your concerns are a bit different smile
I'm so glad to see things are going well for you, I've been rooting for you from the start!

Avocuddles Wed 22-Jan-20 15:59:32

@TwinkleStars15 nothing wrong with booking in another scan if it helps - if my 7 week one goes well I don't think I'd be able to deal with waiting until 12 weeks for the next one which I imagine is what I'd be offered. I completely share your reservation about sharing the news and then something going wrong. My own thinking is that if you would tell her if things went wrong then there's no harm in telling her now. I'm planning on telling a couple of friends as and when I see them as they were a really important support through my losses, though probably won't tell my family as I live a long way from them so there's no difficulty keeping things secret.

@London91 I've booked to get my hair done on Saturday, you're right about keeping occupied, it's definitely the best thing to do.

@Sunflower1608 @SunStruck great to see you there. I'm really hoping this is the 🌈 thread for us all

Treaclepie19 Thu 23-Jan-20 07:34:54

Hi everyone. Its stupidly early days but can I join please? I'll go crazy going through this alone even if I only get to stay a short while.

Pregnancy one- mc at 9+4
Pregnancy two- ds1 who is now 4
Pregnancy three- ds2 Termination for medical reasons at 22+4 weeks

So this will be pregnancy four and if by some miracle all goes well, will be due October 4th.

Avocuddles Thu 23-Jan-20 07:42:43

Hi @Treaclepie19 I just sent you a link on the other thread so great to see you'd already found your way here! It's definitely helpful to have people to talk to through all the anxious moments.

Did anyone else turn into a POAS addict in the early weeks? I've been working away for a couple of days and got home late last night and it took a lot of willpower to not rip open a test there and then. This morning I used a cheapie, an FRER and a clearblue weeks! I know they're notoriously unreliable but was still comforted to see 2-3 weeks today and two identical strong lines on the FRER. I'm 4 +2 or +3 today and have one more clearblue left, a couple of frer's and lots of cheapies. When did you all stop testing?

Treaclepie19 Thu 23-Jan-20 07:45:17

Thank you smile First step is to phone fetal medicine because they said as soon as I get a positive. I'm only 3+4. Way too early.

I always turn into a POAS addict! Going to try and rein it in this time 🙈

Avocuddles Thu 23-Jan-20 08:00:07

@Treaclepie19 I also found out at 3+3 or +4, I held off calling my consultant until I was 4 weeks as figured that was the 'normal' day to test. Is there a particular treatment they'll be wanting you to follow?

Treaclepie19 Thu 23-Jan-20 09:12:37

@Avocuddles they said they will organise a scan for around 9 weeks and then I'll be offered whatever (NIPT/CVS/amnio) and a detailed heart scan and anomaly scan at fetal medicine.

If all that is okay we will be allowed back to low risk.
I think I'm just going to ring tbh because I'm sure the waiting lists are crazy.

InDreamland Thu 23-Jan-20 10:41:51

@Avocuddles hope to see you back on the thread with us very soon. We have been saying we were waiting for the next wave of BFP's to come join us so excited to think you will all join us very very soon. We all get the early days anxiety and hate to say it but the anxiety doesn't go (you'll probably have picked that up if you've popped on to have a read). The support is fab so fx you jump on soon.

newmum2020 Thu 23-Jan-20 11:10:45

Hi ladies I am a newcomer to the thread. Just got my BFP today and am only around 4 weeks!! Had a miscarriage in November last year at 8 weeks so, although I'm ecstatic today I know anxiety will kick in and I want to be able to control it!

Sunflower1608 Thu 23-Jan-20 12:21:28

POAS addict to here. Did a frer this morning at 4:30. It's good to see that second line. I'm trying to avoid buying more x

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