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First baby & in need of some advice!!!

(10 Posts)
SteAl0306 Tue 14-Jan-20 22:32:46

Hi everyone!

I’m currently 19 and pregnant with my first baby, 11+5 weeks. I’m having super bad anxiety tonight and overthinking a lot of things so I just mainly wanted a bit of advice. Usually I would go to my stepmam for help but since me and my fiancé aren’t telling anyone I’m pregnant until after my 12 week scan I figured I’d ask others.

When did you start buying baby clothes etc? I know the bigger things such as cots, prams and all that stuff people usually wait until after the gender reveal before starting to buy those, but clothes wise when do you buy them? What ages do I get?
I’ve also heard that you have to wash clothes before putting them on the baby? If so do I have to use certain soap powder etc?

I’m so sorry if these sound like the most stupidest questions ever but it’s just a thing I’m anxious about as I’ve never done this before & would appreciate some advice!! sad

Also please feel free to leave suggestions of things that I’ll need, either for the baby or me (after birth) I feel useless and feel like I know nothing!

Amys136 Tue 14-Jan-20 22:38:19

I just started pick up bits as and when I saw them, so mainly stuff that was on sale or in a shop I was already in.

I think around 30 weeks I made sure we had newborn and up to 1 month clothes ready then just bought the other sizes when I needed to.

I didn’t wash any of them before putting them on the baby.

Amys136 Tue 14-Jan-20 22:39:46

Also please try not to stress you’ve got ages to get stuff ready. There are loads of online lists of things to get before baby arrives.

I put it into a spreadsheet then marked off what we already had or what people had said they’d buy us

CloudyVanilla Tue 14-Jan-20 22:49:20

It's good to prepare but you do have plenty of time!

I have found that it's not worth buying too many Newborn/New Baby sized clothes, unless you have growth scans that indicate they will be quite small, or women in your family usually have small babies etc. Up to one month and 0 - 3 months are better as they do put on weight quite quickly in the early weeks and months.

In terms of what you need to buy, everyone has a different opinion of what is essential, but anything other than a cot, travel system, baby clothes, blankets, muslins, bottles, sudocrem, baby wash, baby wipes and nappies - there isn't much else you actually need in those early weeks.

If you can though I find a sling and a bouncer chair is very helpful for naps and being hands free!

Leomoon Tue 14-Jan-20 22:50:34

I didn’t buy the main stuff until quite late maybe 30 weeks and onwards, not because I was worried or anything I just didn’t have the drive to do it until then. I picked up clothes as and when I saw stuff that I liked.
I did wash all clothes and blankets before he came just because I felt like it’d be nice but it’s really not necessary tbh - most of my friends didn’t bother. I used a non bio wash powder but when baby arrived and I washed all our stuff together with our normal liquid.
Don’t worry about feeling like you don’t know anything, I felt the same about some stuff and I’m 30! Your instinct really does kick in and no one knows your baby better than you. You’re the best mum for your baby.
Best advice I can give is stay in your pjs and chill as much as you can for the first couple of weeks (until you feel cabin feverish and desperate for some fresh air). Get your family and friends to muck in, flick the hoover round, have baby for half an hour whilst you have a bath. Make sure you’re eating regularly - get family to bring you meals round if they can and have snacks in that you can graze on (online food shops are your new best friend)
I found having a shower and putting clean pjs on made me feel more normal and mentally prepared for the day.
Don’t listen to advice about putting the baby down etc, cuddle them as much as you want, do what you think is right.
Don’t overload yourself with visitors every day - some days I had 5 people coming staggered Throughout the day and it nearly tipped me over the edge. If I felt over loaded, I would say right the next day no visitors.
Realise that’s a lot of advice haha but my baby is 5 months old so it all feels like yesterday.
Enjoy it and congratulations ❤️

Jesskir89 Tue 14-Jan-20 23:37:16

I started buying a but each week from 14 weeks. I started to buy new born vests and baby grows, then nappies and toiletries then 0 to 3 months now bits in 3 to 6.bought the larger things along the way

amazedmummy Wed 15-Jan-20 00:05:57

I started buying things after my 12 week scan but that was because I'd had a previous miscarriage and wanted to be more sure. I didn't buy anything smaller than 0-3 but I had to have extra scans and they were fairly sure I was having a big baby. They were right. He was 10lbs 10oz and went straight into 0-3, he's just gone into 3-6 at 7 weeks.

I got a lot of things second hand to save money so I made a list of big things that I needed and wanted (next to me crib, pram, cot, nursing chair, baby bath) and when I saw them near me at a good price I went and picked it up. I saved hundreds.

Clothes I mostly picked up in sales until about 2/3 months before I was due when I counted up what I had and bought some extra sleep suits. And a couple of extra blankets as he was a November baby.

I washed all of DS's clothes but more because I wanted to, some people say to wash them and some don't. I used own brand non-bio and comfort pure fabric conditioner just because I love the smell. I had a c-section so I'm not sure about things you'll need for recovery after your birth. Things I've found particularly useful for DS are loads of sleep suits, spare changing mat for downstairs, a baby wrap sling thing which I would never have bought but was given in my baby box. Things you'll need for feeding depend on how you'd like to feed your baby.

Oh and congratulations!

SteAl0306 Wed 15-Jan-20 11:28:24

Ahh! Thank you guys so so much, I’ve had loads of helpful replies and I couldn’t be happier.

I know I have plenty of time to stress but I think as soon as I start buying little things I’ll start to chill out and probably leave the rest last minute haha grin

@amazedmummy I had a miscarriage exactly 1 year ago today so I completely understand, I told my fiancé after my scan (on Tuesday!!) I wanted to pick a little outfit up just so I have something to make it seem more real& I think getting something after the scan will make me feel a whole lot better.

Thank you again for all your amazing replies! And thank you all for not being judgemental, you’ll not believe how many people have rolled their eyes or had a sarcastic comment to make just because I’m 19 and pregnant!!

BertieBotts Wed 15-Jan-20 11:37:17

Wait as long as possible as people will buy you clothes, also because each thing is fairly inexpensive, it all adds up and you end up having spent loads but not using half of it as it's the wrong season or the fastenings are impractical or they just grow out of it too quickly! My rule was always I was allowed to get things if they were in a sale or second hand (this way you also end up with a range of sizes, which is good), but I wouldn't buy any brand new baby clothes full price unless it was a total OMG I MUST have this one - you will be surprised how the little cute things come around again in the seasons and you'll be able to find something similar again later for the same price. So wait and see if you really need it.

Yes I did buy one outfit after my 12 week scan, both times. That was all I allowed myself to get full price grin

I made lists and pinterest boards which helps stem the urge to buy all the things. At least that way you can find them again later if/when you do want/need them. But get as much as you can second hand - apart from the car seat! Babies outgrow stuff sooo quickly and it is like new.

Personally I never washed anything before use, but you can if you want to. Many people use non-bio washing powder, but I didn't find it made any difference and bio gets rid of baby stains (milk, sick, poo) better than non bio. Also I moved abroad when I had my second to find that the concept of bio and non-bio simply doesn't exist in other countries! So I decided it can't be that terrible for baby skin and it was always too much effort to separate baby stuff out from other clothing anyway. It all goes in together here and never had any issues with that.

amazedmummy Wed 15-Jan-20 16:05:40

@SteAl0306 people will always make comments, I had comments because I was engaged at 18, then again when I got married at 22. Then people started asking if we planning to have children? I didn't want to leave it too long etc. I'm in my 20s!!! Hardly running out of time.
At the end of the day the majority of people judging have absolutely nothing to do with you and your baby, your choice to procreate is none of their business. My cousin had her little girl at 19 and nobody even bats an eyelid now, she's 7.

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