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What was the best advice you go on getting through labour - help I am scared and an ameteur

(85 Posts)
Turtle35 Wed 29-Sep-04 16:53:11

any advice is totally appreciated....

secur Wed 29-Sep-04 16:55:42

Message withdrawn

Miaou Wed 29-Sep-04 16:57:08

Take pain relief when offered. Don't feel you are not "fully experiencing" the birth by having an epidural, if that's what you want.

Have a talk with your midwife about what to expect and what pain relief is on offer - more information reduces the fear factor!

Have a birthing partner you trust and who YOU will not need to support/worry about - they are there for you, not the other way round!

Focus on the little bundle of joy you will get at the end - it's all worth it!!

motherinferior Wed 29-Sep-04 17:02:29

Remember, as everyone says, THERE IS NO 'RIGHT' WAY TO DO IT.

(but do try gas and air, it's fab)

clary Wed 29-Sep-04 17:04:35

Oh Turtle don't be scared. Yes it hurts and it's hard work too (I won't lie to you) but it is so so worth it.
Personally I found it an amazing and powerful experience, everything, mind, body, focused on one thing (ie givign birth).
Just think each contraction is one you won't do again, and getting you that bit neaer seeign your baby.
Also in practical terms, try to stay at home as long as you can, labour managed at home is much nicer than in hospital (tho of course don't leave it too late!) but with No 1 I sort of rushed in and then was there 8-9 hrs; with no 2 I went with it at home, bathed DS, had some tea, watched some TV and then said, I think we shoudl go in now... but of course that's a bit easier to judge if you've done it before lol.
Another top tip of recent times; try the birthing ball, really good for easing the discomfort and gettign baby in a goo dposition. I used it with DS2 and it was very good
what sort of birth are you planning? There was a thread recently with excellent epidural free experiences if that's what you are thinkign of!
Of course, many mums find an epidural excelletn for pain relief, i never had one for various reasons so can't advise but i'm sure others will.
very very good luck

littlemissbossy Wed 29-Sep-04 17:05:26

As motherinferior says, there's no right or wrong way
Just go with an open mind
Have drugs if you want them
Remember even if it does hurt, it is only one day out of your life... and you get a lovely baby at the end
And don't worry, no one knows what to expect the first time, just follow your midwife - they do understand what to expect

clary Wed 29-Sep-04 17:05:54

Oh Turtle don't be scared. Yes it hurts and it's hard work too (I won't lie to you) but it is so so worth it.
Personally I found it an amazing and powerful experience, everything, mind, body, focused on one thing (ie givign birth).
Just think each contraction is one you won't do again, and getting you that bit neaer seeign your baby.
Also in practical terms, try to stay at home as long as you can, labour managed at home is much nicer than in hospital (tho of course don't leave it too late!) but with No 1 I sort of rushed in and then was there 8-9 hrs; with no 2 I went with it at home, bathed DS, had some tea, watched some TV and then said, I think we shoudl go in now... but of course that's a bit easier to judge if you've done it before lol.
Another top tip of recent times; try the birthing ball, really good for easing the discomfort and gettign baby in a goo dposition. I used it with DS2 and it was very good
what sort of birth are you planning? There was a thread recently with excellent epidural free experiences if that's what you are thinkign of!
Of course, many mums find an epidural excelletn for pain relief, i never had one for various reasons so can't advise but i'm sure others will.
very very good luck

lilibet Wed 29-Sep-04 17:06:02

Every pain you have is one less to have!

Having pain relief is not a sign of a coward.

Whatever you say/do the midwife has heard/seen it all before.

Turtle35 Wed 29-Sep-04 17:08:35

Clary thank you so much for top advice, I am VERY open to my pain relief options, I know I have little threshold when it comes to pain. I have had NCT classes and read about a thousand books but it still doesn't take away the unknown pain IYSWIM.

tammybear Wed 29-Sep-04 17:08:37

Make sure your birthing partner wont run out of the room (exp did, thank god i had my mum there too)

Have an idea of what you want, but dont expect to get it. I wanted a water birth, or to go into the ABC ward in our hospital, but I ended up in the delivery ward sat on a bed.

Make sure you have your hospital bag prepared a couple of months advanced of your due date. dd came a month early and i was so not ready! And pack some snacks as I starved for almost 24 hours but thats only because I hadnt eaten anything since the day before dd was born, and didnt get to eat anything til breakfast the next day after dd was born.

Good luck

willow2 Wed 29-Sep-04 17:31:22

All that matters is that you and your baby are ok at the end of it - how your baby is born is not important. It is not a competition. If you want pain relief have it. Don't feel you have to stick to your birth plan. Good luck xxx

beansprout Wed 29-Sep-04 17:32:03

Oh good thread Turtle - thanks!!
Have just been on the childbirth section reading old "how did you get through labour?" type posts too!!

Is the baby here yet?! We don't really have to do this, do we?!

MTS Wed 29-Sep-04 17:40:50

don't worry if you feel woozy after the first puff or two of gas an air; that feeling should go away

gas and air is also useful to relax you for internals and for any procedures that you might (hopefully won't) need such as having drips in

codswallop Wed 29-Sep-04 17:41:46

move around and deliver on all 4s

take mags in to distract you

hana Wed 29-Sep-04 18:11:37

turtle, lots and lots of luck, it won't be as bad as you think. Leave your mind completely open ( esp about drugs etc etc) I had an epidural and was on gas and air before that. It did hurt, but didn't last and look what you get for all of your hard work, a wonderful little baby that's all yours forever.

dinosaur Wed 29-Sep-04 18:12:08

turtle35 I've just had my third baby - I had a doula this time - she was marvellous and I so wish I'd had one at earlier births - especially with DS1 - it might be worth considering?

JoolsToo Wed 29-Sep-04 18:17:43

get an epidural!

pixiefish Wed 29-Sep-04 18:19:11

you'll be fine- don't worry about it... wish someone had said that to me before hand instead of scaring me to death...
Don't try and be a hero... I didn't and had loads of pain relief... labour was a blur... baby is beautiful... best thing in my life... think of the end result...

lou33 Wed 29-Sep-04 18:20:27

Don't feel guilty about the way you gave birth, if it ended up differently to how you planned it to be. If you want drugs have them, if not then don't feel pressured into having them. Make the most of your time in hospital, if that is where you are delivering, and don't try to do too much at once.

pupuce Wed 29-Sep-04 18:21:28

Well I agree with the "get the best birth partner possible" - it is often not the partner/husband though he could/should be there too.... your mum, sister, best friend or a doula.
You want someone who will be there for you - that is not going to be the midwife (she is there for the hospital) as there will be changes of shift, more than 1 woman tro care for, her tea break,...
You want someone who knows about the "pain", can re-assure you, help you brief, knows what questions to ask.... you want someone to be YOUR advocate. This person can also help your husband enjoy the birth as some of the pressure will be off him.

This is my best tip.

zebra Wed 29-Sep-04 18:21:49

Be open-minded.

pupuce Wed 29-Sep-04 18:22:17

help you breathe - sorry !

Beetroot Wed 29-Sep-04 18:22:41

Message withdrawn

maretta Wed 29-Sep-04 18:24:53

I think raspberry leaf tea was the best help I had.

Rowlers Wed 29-Sep-04 18:31:52

I too was petrified about giving birth. I remember ante-natal classes talking about "pain" for 2-3 hours each week. I remember watching videos of women giving birth and nearly fainting! It didn't help me at all, just made me more and more anxious.
I have a low pain threshold (well, I don't really but thought I did) and made it clear to the midwife I had when I went into labour that I wanted an epidural.
When my contractions kicked in, I had gas and air and sent for the anaesthetist as quickly as poss. I remember having to concentrate hard when a contraction came around but it's incredible how the memory fades as soon as baby arrives.
I won't tell you that it hurts as if you're like me, that's no help. All I can tell you is that I had my epidural, got a top-up as well and had absolutely no pain at all when DD arrived. That was a priority for me.
I know others have different priorities. When my friend had her DS, she had no pain relief at all, not even gas and air. That was what she wanted and it was right for her. She would have hated having an epidural, I would have hated not having one! We are all different.
The only thing I would say apart from being open-minded, when you get in there, talk through your options with the midwife who's with you and make sure she knows what you want.
And I know it's a cliche, but it is such a transitory state, and we are almost pre-programmed to cope with it, it won't be as bad as you are expecting it to be.
Keep smiling!

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