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Personal question: has anyone's male partner TOTALLY gone off sex while they#re pregnant?

(9 Posts)
loulou1980 Fri 24-Aug-07 09:32:41

Hi ladies,

I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with my second child and am just curious really to see if anyone else's partner is experiencing a complete lack of libido while they're pregnant? My husband and I normally have a very active sex life (sorry if TMI!) but since my first scan he's gone off it completely. I have no worries that he's being unfaithful or anything, but obviously this is putting a bit of a strain or our relationship, as I want it more than ever! He says he finds my changing body beautiful but not sexually arousing (plus all the vomiting i've been doing hasn't helped!) During my first pregnancy he wasn't as keen as usual, but nothing to this extent. Has anyone any experience or advice? Cheers x

GoodGollyMissMolly Fri 24-Aug-07 09:47:18

He's probably worried about hurting you or the baby. Have you tried talking to him about it as he may be a bit worried and need some reasurrance that all will be ok IYKWIM

It's the other way round for me, I have completely gone off sex big time, but DH doesn't mind, he says he is getting something that he really wants at the end of it all, so he will wait, awww bless him.

BeachBunni Fri 24-Aug-07 10:07:02

Yeap my partner too - and it's not just gone off sex with me but says me getting pregnant has knocked all his libido out of him. He hasn't even been doing it himself. It's our first and I know he has a lot of worries so I'm just trying to have a bit of patience, although it is hard at times. He also says he still finds me sexy but not sexually arousing, which I can kind of understand - I think it freaks him out there's something alive in there!!

loulou1980 Fri 24-Aug-07 10:12:37

Hi Beachbunni, yeah he's said the same, hasn't been masturbating either, weird! Has knocked my confidence a bit, don't feel very attractive as it is, not like i can go out and get chatted up for a confidence boost either! x

Naetha Fri 24-Aug-07 10:29:38

I feel slightly envious of you to be honest!

DH has found my changing shape a real turn-on but I really haven't been in the mood at all! He even finds my leaky boobs alluring which I don't get at all!

iliketosleep Fri 24-Aug-07 23:25:46

my partner lost his libido before i got pregnant so how i got pg i'll never know grin

oh and if anyone knows of a way to get can they let me know lol

UCM Fri 24-Aug-07 23:26:45

Yep, I think he was worried I would get pg again hmm. I have several friends who said the same. I don't think it's unusual.

PurpleLostPrincess Fri 24-Aug-07 23:37:24

We used to be at it constantly, even after 5 years of marriage! I have to say its gone from one extreme to the other in this pg - the first trimester we were at it like rabbits. Then the second trimester, I wanted it all the time and he got upset as he felt I was just using his body (teehee!). The third trimester neither of us have felt like it at all - not even on our anniversary!!

Sometimes I take it really personally and find it hard to deal with but I know its just that he doesn't want to hurt the baby or it feels weird with 'somebody else there!'. I've got SPD so tbh it's getting quite painful anyway...

At the end of the day, communication is the key to getting through it ime. DH is still affectionate etc but just not in a sexy way - I've given him strict instructions that I need him to make me feel special! The other morning, he turned over in bed to give me a cuddle and his hand was on my bump when she gave him a kick!!! (needless to say, that didn't provoke a session!)

ghosty Sat 25-Aug-07 00:03:24

My DH didn't in my first pregnancy but did when I was pg with DD. I think it was partly to do with the fact that to begin with I was worried in the early stages (had had an m/c) and by the time I was over that I was the size of a small whale and so he could be forgiven for not being up for it wink
I wasn't bothered to be honest.
All back to normal by the time DD was 3 months or so.

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