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The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #6 - 🐧 The Penguin Huddle 🐧

(906 Posts)
KnitKitty Thu 12-Dec-19 18:12:50

This is a safe space and supportive thread for anyone who is pregnant following a loss. We all understand the worry and anxiety that can come from being pregnant again following miscarriage/stillbirth.

Please feel free to join, even if you were not on the original TTC thread.

Starting the roll call copied from the last thread. Not everyone is on there, so please add to it/update/edit.
Also, thought it might be fun if we add Girl/Boy/Surprise on there too, so we can see who's expecting what

@Amanda81, 38, EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, 37, EDD 03/01/20
@Laney79, 40, EDD 06/01/20
@Bluebelltulip, 29, EDD 09/01/20
@KnitKitty, 32, EDD 29/01/20 - Girl
@UnicornsandRainsbows1, 29, EDD 29/01/2020
@Newbie21, 38, EDD 06/02/20
@InDreamland, 39, EDD 18/02/20
@Tina363,29, EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer, 29, EDD 28/02/20
@Strawberry, 28, EDD 08/03/20
@Ginmonkey84, 34, EDD 16/03/20
@DuvetCaterpillar, 34, EDD 27/03/2020
@ChikiTIKI , 29, EDD 04/04/2020
@Navy123, 29, EDD 10/04/20
@Catconfusion, 40, EDD 12/04/20
@Janey15, 34, EDD 13/04/20
@TinyPaws, 33, EDD 18/04/20
@Flyfisherlady, 37, Edd 24/04/20
@Dimblebimble, 29, EDD 29/4/20
@FirstTimeMama91, 28, EDD 06/05/2020
@SunshineCrocodile, 37, EDD 4/6/2020
@TwittleBee , 25, EDD 25/06/20

And a shout-out to the Mamas who have already had their beautiful babas!
@Boboelephant, @Yukka, @Melpops36, @Beaglemum93 and a special mention for our hero mum @Squiff70 who we continue to keep in our thoughts and prayers.

Rubyroost Thu 12-Dec-19 18:29:13

Do I dare add my due date yet? I'm not sure how to do it.

KnitKitty Thu 12-Dec-19 18:32:34

@coconutlatte44 I didn't realise you're only a week ahead of me!
I've had the same dilemma with packing my hospital bag. I've packed all the essentials (toiletries etc which I 'bought' with my Boots points... grin ) and baby stuff, and I'm going to make a list of other things I will need last minute or that aren't already packed. For instance, I take medication for my asthma so I'll need my brown inhaler packing at the last minute as I don't have a spare, and things like bras/tops etc I might be wearing before packing them. So if they're in the wash when I have to go in to hospital I'll just have to ask someone to bring them separately. But I have packed a couple of nighties, some new slippers and lots of granny pants already because I won't be wearing them beforehand.
I can't remember; are you hoping for a vaginal birth? Labour might start fairly slowly and allow you to pack up the last bits and bobs when you're showing signs of things kicking off...

@Twittlebee How was your appointment today?

@InDreamland I hope bubsy livened up for the rest of the day? Sorry you've got a cold again.

@Bluebelltulip It's only usually a 25 minute drive, so nothing too bad, but it's not fun at all.
I totally understand about worrying so much at this stage. It is a worrying time. Just keep taking each day at a time and try to do some mindful breathing etc. You're doing really well!

RedRobin7 Thu 12-Dec-19 18:34:08

I'll hopefully join the roll call in 12 days time 😊 My 10 week scan was good yesterday but still waiting to reach the dating scan and have a successful one this time around!

InDreamland Thu 12-Dec-19 18:47:42

Thanks for the new thread @KnitKitty! Yes, thanks for asking, thankfully Bubsy woke up and has had a good wriggle throughout the day. The worry is horrible isn't it!

@Rubyroost please add yourself. You're so far along now. Just copy and paste the list and then add yourself in before you post.

@RedRobin7 glad you had a good scan and keeping fx for your 12 week dating scan!

InDreamland Thu 12-Dec-19 18:50:13

@KnitKitty would you mind sharing a list of the things you bought with your advantage card points please? Great minds lol as I said to DH I intend using my points too for essentials like more maternity pads, baby wipes and breast pads. Wondering what else is worth using points for. I have £70 worth I'm sitting on.

sadtoday21 Thu 12-Dec-19 18:54:14

Thanks @KnitKitty for starting the new thread! I can't believe how close you are to the end now! Do you have everything ready to go?

haha @Rubyroost I haven't added myself on there either...even though I'm 27 weeks today! EDD is 12 March, expecting a little boy. BTW, I think you mentioned something about new symptoms as you near third trimester? Yes to the increased bathroom trips in the middle of the night and double yes to the major fatigue. To me, third trimester seems like it might feel like the first one, just with a huge bump and less ability to eat? Already boobs are feeling a bit more tender again and hormones seems to be back. Also really thirsty and did I mention tired? I agree with *@Indreamland*, really really dragging now as I get larger! Can't complain though, my first trimester was very symptom free.

@Bluebelltullip I'm so sorry you and your DH are going through this right now, it sounds so tough and worrying for you both. You are so close now, I hope you can relax as much as possible and just get through these last weeks! Thinking of you Xxx.

@Squiff70 I didn't want to bother you, but was so glad to hear Ava is doing well and have been thinking about you both a lot. Take good care of yourself and know that we are all here if you ever need to talk.

@Indreamland sorry to hear you are sick again, it is the worst in pregnancy! Have you tried boiling some hot water and putting your face over the steam with a cloth to help with the cold? Congrats on almost being done with work, I don't envy your trips on the subway, people are so rude!

Well I am 27 weeks today and had a midwife check-up yesterday. It turns out I am anemic so will be adding iron supplements to the aspirin and prenatals. I expected it really, and it explains the sudden crushing fatigue, but now worried I'm not eating enough meat for baby (recovering vegetarian). Otherwise I am just really tired and suddenly feel like bump is quite large? I'm measuring spot on for my dates, but its all getting much more real now.

How do people feel about babymoons - worth it or too exhausting? Did anyone do a babymoon in the UK and/or can anyone recommend some places to go about 3 hours by train from London? Looking for something quiet and in nature. Thanks in advance!

coconutlatte44 Thu 12-Dec-19 19:00:25

@KnitKitty we’re totally on the same page here - I never really use my boots points so I was planning on using them all for essentials!

Yes, that’s the plan, although I thought early on that I might push for a c section as I had awful anxiety about birth, but as the pregnancy has progressed and it’s become less abstract and more about getting him out, I feel I can face it now. ☺️

Bluebelltulip Thu 12-Dec-19 19:01:36

@RedRobin7 glad your scan went well, hope to see you on the roll call soon.

DD keeps asking if I'm ok so evidently not hiding it well. I'm hoping I feel a bit better after scan tomorrow and hopefully will have a better idea of a plan too. Going to double check my hospital bags tonight just incase.

coconutlatte44 Thu 12-Dec-19 19:03:35

@Rubyroost thanks for the advice, I’m not stressing about it too much so it’s always good to hear from someone who says it can be kept simple!!

@InDreamland I will probably take an uber as am 35+ mins by public transport and 20 by car. What’s your plan?

Rubyroost Thu 12-Dec-19 19:31:08

@Bluebelltulip hope your scan goes well tomorrow, fingers crossed for you.

@sadtoday21 that's shit about the anaemia, I've been wondering about iron levels, but perhaps my issue is full time job and then toddler. . I come home from work and entertain, feed and bath him til 9.30om every night so could be it.
Just make sure you drink prune juice and eat Pears prunes dates etc to make sure you're not constipated, you need to avoid those piles on all account. A midwife tried to give me iron supplements at 12 weeks last successful pregnancy because I was borderline, I refused as was constipated enough and just had the liquid iron. Obviously you're not in that position if you're anaemic, but I think the tablets can really constipate you.
Baby moon sounds lovely and time to chill before the inevitable chaos. I enjoyed just chilling at home though before baby arrived I had three/ four weeks to just before Christmas and then two weeks after as baby didn't appear until 42 weeks. This time with a toddler in tow I doubt a babymoon will happen.

@coconutlatte44... Yeah I kind of forgot about shower gel and shampoo though. 😂
@Indreamland my friend passed on loads of breast pads as she didn't breastfeed in the end, I didn't use any of them. If buying I wouldn't buy loads. Anecdotally it's not common not to leak, but I never did and milk was not in short supply. You can get washable ones too if you're that way inclined.
I also used boots lanolin cream, I know everyone goes on about lansinoh, not sure what the difference is, but boots lanolin cream was fine. I'm imaging lanisoh is much the same, but a trade mark. A small tube did it for me as after I had finushed it b feeding was established enough and my nipples had hardened enough to manage without.
Then of course there's stuff like bio oil to help with stretch marks if you think it'll work. I was massive and never got any stretch marks so I'm hoping the same again.
Think you can get perineum cream to rub on that a few months/weeks before birth, my friend was into all these creams and gave me some, I never used it and didn't need it in the end anyway. , 😂
Some sort of nappy cream for baby. We liked bepanthen nice and gentle on baby. Some babies don't need it, but our lil boy had bad contact nappy rash almost from day 1 as he had sensitive skin.
We got some big cotton wool wipes, ones that you use for make up, but oval ones that were nice and big. We used those instead of wipes as our lil one had sensitive skin. Can't really think if any other creams and potions x

Rubyroost Thu 12-Dec-19 19:36:13

Oh and vit d drops if b feeding, which I forgot about. Kid is okay tho and doesn't appear to have anything wrong with bones 😳🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Thu 12-Dec-19 20:14:37

Hi all. I've calmed down now and instead my anxiety is directed at tomorrow's election results! Like some of you, I am hoping for change but not confident that we will get it.

I also need to update my due date as c section booked (and confirmed 🙄!!) for the 30th! Unless he decides to come sooner! 😳

Not replying properly as off to make some treats and open a bottle of Nosecco (Sainsbury's non alcoholic and quite good!) to watch the exit polls. But @Bluebelltulip will be thinking of you tomorrow. Also great news @RedRobin7!

strawberrye Thu 12-Dec-19 22:07:11

Crikey the exit polls are looking incredibly depressing. I think I must live in a parallel universe to the rest of the UK. I'm afraid this is going to mean not a good future for our NHS or our wee babes politically sad

frillyfarmer Thu 12-Dec-19 22:30:49

Checking in, thank you for the latest thread. 29 weeks tomorrow, really loving pregnancy now - a lot more so than with my little boy - I think I'm just a lot more grateful this time round.

Hopefully everyone did vote today, whichever way you voted - women's votes were hard won and I think it's so important we all exercise our right. I'm not being drawn into politics on this thread as I don't think it's the right platform for it - our common ground is the journey we have all shared but we all come from very different places. As someone who lives and works in the rural sector, I couldn't vote for a labour government on merit of their terrifying agricultural policies. It's not to say I don't care a great deal for our NHS, but there is also a great deal of worth in being able to eat three times a day and for that you need a robust agricultural sector.

Rubyroost Thu 12-Dec-19 22:44:30

@frillyfarmer agree this thread should not be about politics. But... I thought you said you weren't going to get drawn in. 😂 Even though I realise mumsnet tends to be left wing, judging by the exit poll they'll be both Tory and Labour voters on this thread. As frillyfarmer mentioned this is about our shared experiences as women who are pregnant and have experienced loss.

frillyfarmer Thu 12-Dec-19 23:07:26

😂 I read it back and thought "fuck, I was definitely drawn there"!

I hate elections, I hate how FB and other usually fairly pleasant places just descend into argument. I can't wait for "normality" to resume and everyone can concentrate on the really big event - Christmas!

strawberrye Thu 12-Dec-19 23:11:51

My bad! I will ensure all my posts are strictly pregnancy related from now on.

InDreamland Thu 12-Dec-19 23:30:38

@sadtoday21 excellent due date! 😉 amazing people are born on the 12th March!!!!!! Sorry you're being put on iron supplements. Make sure you have lots of fibre rich food. I've been taking additional iron supplements since mc#1 and having a daily glass of orange juice with it and haven't so far had constipation. Also drink loads of water. 27 weeks is a great milestone, almost in 3rd trimester! I am all for a babymoon, wish we had a proper one but couldn't fit it in so just managed a short weekend UK city break a couple of weekends ago. It was tiring. I'd suggest a spa break - check out Chewton Glen, Four Seasons Hampshire or Champneys resorts either in Tring or Forest Mere (Hampshire).

@Bluebelltulip fx all is well with your scan tomorrow!

@coconutlatte44 20 mins by car sounds good. I'm hoping DH will be nearby or at home when I need to go in and then he can drive us. If he's at work he's 1 hour away from home so I guess doable. He does do nights away approx once a fortnight/3weeks for work but he said that he will request to not do overnighters from when I'm 36 weeks to ensure he's close by. I am nervous about him not being able to get home quickly enough.

@Rubyroost thank you for all the advice, I'm going to make a list based on your recommendations! Amazing! Thank you!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue enjoy your treats and nosecco! I'm tucked up in bed watching the election coverage. Not sure I can stay up much longer though.

@strawberrye I love our NHS and all other public services. Won't say which way I voted but I work with a lot of traditional labour voters (given what service our organisation delivers) but majority say they cannot bring themselves to vote for Corbyn. I think that is very telling. So Labour get first MP declared for the night in Newcastle. Sunderland being declared now .........Labour too.

@frillyfarmer so lovely to hear you're enjoying pregnancy. Hope you continue to enjoy it until baby is delivered safely. You're so right that our experiences with loss, ttc and pregnancy is what draws us together.

How do you know if baby has hiccups? I think Bubsy has hiccups. Not strong kicks or wriggling but feel like a rhythmic thudding in there.

Beaglemum93 Fri 13-Dec-19 02:23:47

Thank you for tagging me on the new thread @KnitKitty. Hope you don't mind I still plan on checking in with you all and see how you're getting on.

@sadtoday21 we had a babymoon (in Scotland) and it was nice to get away just the two of us for a last time. I doubt any trip away will be as stress free again!

That does sound like the baby has hiccups @InDreamland.

ChikiTIKI Fri 13-Dec-19 06:31:47

Hi everyone. I am hoping I can keep up with things with us having a fresh thread 😊 I am 24 weeks tomorrow! Wishing for the next 15 weeks to go quickly even though I really know I shouldn't! Still in disbelief to be honest! Hope you all have a lovely weekend xxxx

Twittlebee Fri 13-Dec-19 08:13:37

Morning all!

Thank you for the new thread @KnitKitty !

Due Date changed (again) yesterday though to 26th June.

Scan was lovely, he was all wriggling and good. The consultant appointment was scary; we were in there with her for 2 hours. She is lovely, really like her and she gives me the confidence she will be looking after us well. BUT she told us my placenta isnt fully attached which is why I keep bleeding and I need to take it easy as it could come away fully at any time. Also she said her money is that this baby will come earlier this time as my body just kicks out babies early. There isnt much they can do for this situation other than monitor and ensure I get the steriods in me as early as possible. Also she said I will need a section as soon as it looks like I am going to start labouring as the risk of rupturing my section is too high.

I've let my work know, wanst sure if it was right to tell them but thought they needed a warning I might already be half way through my pregnancy.

TinyPaws Fri 13-Dec-19 08:49:32

Thank you for the new thread @KnitKitty

@Twittlebee I'm so glad you've had good news after such a lot of bleeding. Praying that your little one stays inside and firmly attached as long as possible!

@Squiff70 Thinking of you x

@Beaglemum93 Congratulations!

I'm now 21+6 with a baby boy. After early pregnancy dragged so horribly time seems to be passing faster and faster. I was horribly ill for the first trimester and the first month or so of the second but have been feeling much better the last few weeks. I've developed piles in the last week or two blush but it's still much better than the constant nausea and debilitating tiredness I was experiencing before!

I had my 20 week scan last week and all looks OK, I'm to have extra growth scans on account of my dodgy thyroid, pre-pregnancy BMI of 19 and the fact that this is an IVF pregnancy. Baby has short legs, a fat belly, a big head and massive testicles apparently! But the doctors seem happy that everything is healthy.

Anxiety wise I'm doing much better - physically I'm feeling stronger and I've also been feeling regular movements several times a day since 19w which helps a lot too.

Twitwooo Fri 13-Dec-19 09:44:44

Checking in, will be 17 weeks on Tuesday and still puking about twice a week at least though general sick feeling has improved... suffering with sinusitis for the past week following a cold which also caused my dd to developer an ear infection sad it never ends!!

Midwife appointment on Monday, really hoping she will listen for the heartbeat as I am getting more anxious the closer I get to the 20 week scan.

Have to travel up to in laws for Xmas .. a good 5 hours in the car , probably more. Dreading it. Kinda looking forward to about mid January where everything should hopefully slow down again for me and maybe that will improve my general well-being. Who knows

Hope everyone is as well as they can be!

MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Fri 13-Dec-19 10:13:07

How are you getting on @Beaglemum93?

Congrats on 20 weeks @TinyPaws but boo to piles! They are horrible!

Hope all goes ok today @Bluebelltulip xxx

Fingers crossed the placenta stays attached and little one stays in as long as possible @Twittlebee. Good that you are being monitored and looked after.

Definitely sounds like hiccups @InDreamland! I get them quite a lot and hate myself for saying this, but find them really annoying! I love when he moves but the hiccups are just irritating 😳

I've been getting bad Braxton Hicks for the past few days. Think they are worse when I'm tired and think I've been over doing it. Took DD to see Father Christmas yesterday which was fun but another long day (and stayed up too late watching the election! Won't say anymore as know people would prefer to stay away from election talk!) Chilling in with DD today and got a mum friend and her son round after lunch (not the hitter!!) Have a 3rd birthday party at soft play on Sunday which I'm dreading but is one of DD's 'best friends' from nursery. Looking forward to when she is at nursery next week so I can potter about sorting baby things and have a rest!

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