Pain and sex- any advice?

[bonjourbonjour]

Im 27 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby.

With me 2 previous pregnancies I was sexually active up until the end with no real issues aside from the huge bump being in the way.

This time I find it really difficult to the point of thinking I should just stop. During sex I am uncomfortable its like the baby is incredibly low and blocking things (he isn't). And after I have shooting pains down my legs for the rest of the day. They subside if I sit or walk but cant stand with them. And I also get an extremely heavy feeling down below, Its uncomfortable and I end up just wanting to lie down and ice it ! Its really strange, has anyone experience anything similar?

Having a very straightforward pregnancy aside from this. I havent seen anything online that is similar so wanted to check with you all before I bother my MW with such a personal issue!
Thanks !

[Boymummy3]

Personally if I was getting pains after sex I just wouldn't do it...I would imaging as everything is moving about etc you may be irritating ligaments and that could be causing the pains as for it feeling tender below may be due to extra blood flow and pressure down there swelling it up afterwards.. I've not been able to dtd and probally only done it about 5 times during this pregnancy I'm now 32 weeks and it's just so u comfortable being so heavy etc so it isn't really worth it for me. You could speak with your midwife but I'm not really sure what she could do for you other than advise maybe to not do it. Hope you get something sorted x

[bonjourbonjour]

I know stopping just makes sense.

I just thought Id check that for someone it hasn't been a sign of something bad. I know that its 99% just my body asking me to chill and stop behaving like Im not growing a person!
Thanks for your help @Boymummy3

[SparkleUK]

There is nothing worse than not being able to enjoy it - I feel your pain!

I'd definitely mention it to your midwife to be sure as they say sex shouldn't have any issues whatsoever so if you're getting pains, best to be safe.
Have you tried lots of different ways or is it the same anytime? I also got told somewhere if it does hurt you should lie down and drink water but I think it was only abdominal pain that was highlighted to me as a concern.

[bonjourbonjour]

Yes I will mention it thank you @SparkleUK. I just often hear of women who just 'can't' and find it too difficult when they are pregnant I was wondering if I had just become one of them. I was expecting lots of answers on here of women who say they struggle too and it was fairly normal.
We have tried different ways and some are easier than others. Some work ok but its not as nice as normal and I always get those shooting pains in my legs for the rest of the day after regardless of what position we have tried. Yes the water helps for the braxton hicks type cramps but those are just temporary and fairly straightforward.
My next appointment is in a week so will see then. Thanks for your advice !

[rach2019]

I had this throughout my whole pregnancy, I never really found out what it was and my midwife just said that theres a lot going on down there so unhelpful. I just had to not do it 😭

[bonjourbonjour]

@rach2019 just as long as it stops when the baby comes Ill be ok!! Did you get those shooting pains down your legs too after and during the entire day? Its so weird.

[rach2019]

I didnt get shooting pains, it was just very achy and felt swollen, think we had sex a total of about 6 times the whole 9 months! It is better now kind of, but obviously its sore after giving birth too 😂

[bonjourbonjour]

Just as an update in case it helps someone: I spoke to my Mw and then saw my GP who said it was weird but she could see nothing wrong down there.
No bleeding, no swelling, no discharge, no pain outside of intercourse, she said it was just my body's way of saying no sex this pregnancy🤷🏻‍♀️

So abstinence it is😫

[flissity]

I’m also of with number 3. I have got bigger sooner with this one.
I’m 20wks btw.

Do you think that as it’s your third, your muscles give in sooner? I think this is my case with the bumpbigger soon. Maybe it feels lower as your stomach muscles aren’t as tight as they were with number 1 or 2? I say this in the nicest way!! I am sure this is the case for me.

Also.. you mention Braxton hicks. Are you gettinf this way way sooner this time? I get tightenings everyday, wasn’t expecting it this soon!!

[bonjourbonjour]

@flissity but could muscle loosening cause this pain?
Yes I was big sooner, and yes I got braxton hicks super early (13 weeks I think!) but the discomfort I feel is just weird. Just like there is no room in the there for anything at all- so weird!
Anyway thank you for your input and congratulations on your pregnancy! So exciting ! Xxxx

[flissity]

Not sure my input helped! I was thinking out loud 😆
It’s a shame about the discomfort for you. I already feel really uncomfortable at night time/evening. Especially if I’ve eaten too late, or too big a meal.

Glad I’m not the only one with BH!!