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NCT - yay or nay?

(18 Posts)
mama2be87 Mon 02-Dec-19 21:08:03

Debating whether or not to get booked on a course. Not to sound super grumpy but I don't know if I'm that "bothered" about meeting others and maintaining it going forward... sorry I know that sounds so grumpy, but I have my family very close by plus a couple of friends one of which is also having a baby.

Are they really worth it/would you strongly recommend? Kinda feel like I'm in one of those situations where you've made plans to go out but now you can't be arsed, but you know you'll have fun when you're out. But with NCT I've obviously never done it before so don't know if I will enjoy it..!?

R2D2abc Mon 02-Dec-19 22:40:30

I suppose it's always good to attend some antenatal course especially with first baby, but not really for making new friends. I did attend one with my first and thought it was good and learned some more things than what I read or watched on YouTube. I'm not super fan of making new friends in places like that, I have a big family both sides and a good network of friends at church.

Yesivenamechanged11 Mon 02-Dec-19 23:16:27

Save your money an NHS one if you're not bothered about meeting people, even then there's no guarantee you will make friends for life like they love to trot out.

I did NCT with DC1 and it was such a disparate group. Also the tutor scared the bejesus out of all of us about how terrible c-sections were and one mum had her DS very prem a few days later ... By c-section. So you can imagine the state she was in after hearing all the spiel only a few days before let alone worrying about her poorly baby.

I only speak with one of the other NCT mums now. Met more friends through classes and coffee mornings.

Yesivenamechanged11 Mon 02-Dec-19 23:17:27

Should say save your money and book an NHS one

mynameiscalypso Mon 02-Dec-19 23:20:06

We didn't bother - like you, I wasn't ghat interested in meeting people and I hate group things. A consultant I saw said only to go if I wanted to make friends and to ignore everything else. On that basis, I decided it would be a total waste of money. We didn't end up doing any antenatal classes at all and it doesn't seem to have mattered much - DS is still alive at nearly 4 months!

AndAnon Mon 02-Dec-19 23:23:47

I went. The group never gelled and despite making an effort we never got the whole group together again. I stayed in touch with a few individually but it all fizzled out and now haven’t heard from them in years (DC now age 7).

AndAnon Mon 02-Dec-19 23:24:37

The information was not especially useful either to be honest. It was a waste of money.

littlejalapeno Mon 02-Dec-19 23:40:06

I found it helpful to have people going through the same thing as I was at the same time, especially as we didn’t have a large local network and my partner’s family live abroad. Don’t listen to all the “you’re an earth mother and your body will know what to do when the time comes” shit The course leaders give you. Or at least take it as that it’s lovely when things go well and we have modern medicine for if they don’t and that’s fucking brilliant and no reason to beat yourself up over.

Congratulations on your baby!

DramaAlpaca Mon 02-Dec-19 23:45:27

My experience of the NCT teacher was very similar to Yesivenamechanged11. She was very anti c-section, which really upset one of the mums who ended up having one. I did make friends, but they didn't end up being long term friends.

whattodo2019 Mon 02-Dec-19 23:52:36

Yes!! NCT is fabulous. Keep an open mind.
I was a low risk mum and had two amazing water births. My first baby was 10.2lbs!!!! It was a doddle!!
Go for it

Fuscialuscia Tue 03-Dec-19 03:58:39

I avoided them too- they’re a very expensive way to make friends (if you even manage to) and not all of them are facilitated by healthcare professionals. I went to NHS ones ran at the hospital by midwives which were free and really informative.

RealMermaid Tue 03-Dec-19 06:14:30

I'm doing NCT right now and it's been brilliant for us. Really nice tutor, very informative and a really good way to kick off conversations between you and your partner about things that you might otherwise never have thought of. DH has also found it really useful as they do provide a lot of info for birth partners so he feels more confident about his role and less worried he'll be a spare part lol! The social side is nice but I think it's worth it regardless.

Cookit Tue 03-Dec-19 06:20:21

I loved it because it gave me my network of parents with children the same age. But then, I have no family nearby and didn’t have friends with similar age babies within walking distance. If you have that, it’s different.

Baby groups and things are very cliquey. I went to a lot of them with NCT friends and you’d notice that most other people knew a few of the other mums from their respective NCTs too. Whenever I went to ones on my own I never made friends. You’d chat for a few minutes sometimes but it never turned into coffee or play dates or anything so without NCT I think I’d have been really, really lonely.

motherofawhirlwind Tue 03-Dec-19 06:51:36

Exactly what @Cookit said .... And 13 years on, I took 6 of our eldest girls to see Frozen 2 this weekend smile

mama2be87 Tue 03-Dec-19 07:44:39

Thanks everyone this has been really helpful. Some mixed reviews here so I'll continue to think about it, but it does feel like the NHS led ones could be a good option and replacement. I do feel like I have everyone I need around me as it is, so unless I made friends for life (which it doesn't look like always happens) it feels like NHS ones would do the same job in terms of information and knowledge? I also know that my partner would hate something like NCT too as we aren't into group things, and we've always been quite happy in our little bubble. My only other problem is that my sister really wants to gift me the NCT classes, like she did with our other sister, so I obviously don't want to hurt her feelings.

sar302 Tue 03-Dec-19 08:08:29

I would say be mindful that you're not going to continue to be in your little bubble once the baby arrives. After a few weeks, your partner will presumably go back to work, and that leaves you on your own, with your baby for a good 10 hours a day (depending on work hours / commute etc). Unless all your friends and family are retired / unemployed / on mat leave, they're also not available during the day. It's just you and your baby. And other human contact is a very good thing during this time!

I would say NCT is useless for information purposes, but fairly good for getting you through those first few months where your life has been turned upside down. It's good to know some people who have babies the same age, who are around during the day. You go out, do stuff, get used to your new life. They don't need to be friends for life - they can be friends for "right now" and that's perfectly ok.

My DS is 2 and I'm still friends with two out of the seven women from my group. That's real life - i didn't expect to like all of them just because our babies were the same age.

I'd definitely do it again, I'd just avoid the session where you get told all the different wondering things you can do with placenta....

McHelenz Tue 03-Dec-19 10:39:55

We are currently doing NCT and I'm enjoying it. I was hesitant at first that they were going to be all encapsulate your placenta but it's not like that. It was the one thing OH wanted to do but I'm glad we are. We are doing the NHS one too, which I've been told by a midwife is just reading off a PowerPoint so glad we are able to do NCT and have a bit of a discussion.

Fivebyfive2 Tue 03-Dec-19 17:28:35

We've just finished an NCT and have found it really useful. The teacher was much more inclusive than I was expecting - I assumed it would be very anti c section / anti bottle feeding etc, but wasn't at all. Although it leant towards natural birth, she went all through intervention, pain relief and c sections. Not in a scary way, more about making sure we had lots of info to make informed decisions. My dh found that very useful. They also covered breast and bottle / formula feeding in detail and there were lots of exercises to get everyone talking about different points of view/ways to do things.

Socially I can see us maybe keeping in touch with a few couples, but even if we don't long term, it's nice to have a group of people all going through the same things for now!

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