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Missed Miscarriage 12 Week Scan - What do I expect?

(15 Posts)
Tiny20 Fri 08-Nov-19 17:11:22

Hi All,

I've never written on anything like this before but was just wondering if anyone is going through or has been through a similar experience (as I'm sure many women have). I had my 12 week dating scan on Monday afternoon only to find out that our poor baby had no heartbeat and was only measuring around 9 weeks. I'm heartbroken to say the least and emotionally not coping very well, I was really excited to see him/her for the first time and was looking forward to telling everyone properly. I did however have my doubts previously such as I had very little symptoms to start with which then seemed to fade and disappear around 9 weeks which I raised with the midwife at the time but was reassured this was normal for some women which I know it is as my sister had zero symptoms with her pregnancy's which were all fine. The past few weeks I even felt I was starting to show and going to the loo more frequently but obviously this was not a positive sign in my case.

Anyway after being sent home with our leaflets of the 3 different options, I couldn't decide what to do for the best but shortly after that same night I started to miscarry naturally. However from Monday to Wednesday I had very little loss, just a jelly like substance at first with streaks of brown. Yesterday I started having small blood clots and today some longer thicker clots and also I had a very small piece of tissue loss this morning (about the size of 2/3 grains of rice). I've also had mild cramping slightly worse last night and this morning but nothing major. I know everyone is different and can vary in length of time from women to women but was just wondering if anyone has experienced something similar and could give me any advice on whether the worst is to come? I've had no continuous bleeding and all of the time my pad is bone dry, it is only noticeable mainly when wiping (sorry for tmi). I haven't passed anymore tissue or a sac or anything so I'm guessing its going to get worse from here? I'm just concerned because my baby has not been developing already for nearly 4 weeks inside and the hospital said the longer it goes on the more risk I have of infection. I've read some horrendous stories about women who were even not as far on being soaked through with lots of blood for days with bad pain and having to pass large amounts of tissue which I haven't yet so just looking for any advice please? I've been off work since my scan and I don't know what to do about going back Monday or giving it more time.

Thank you x

rainbow1982 Fri 08-Nov-19 17:36:06

God I'm so so sorry to read this, I truly feel your pain and it is horrendous, you WILL get through it even though at the moment it doesn't feel like it.

I've been through it 3 times in 17 months and I personally opted for the oral medication to bring it on quicker and to avoid being put to sleep. This worked during one of my losses and I just had to go back to be rescanned to check I had passed everything.

If you want to stay home and let it happen naturally I've also done this and to be honest the physical pain is less than if you take the meds. My other loss I had the medication twice but it wasn't coming out and I developed an infection and had to have a d and c. Please just keep your eye on how you are feeling physically, as in if you start to get a temperature go straight in to early pregnancy as it's a sign of infection and they may need to help you along.

It's the most gut wrenching, heartbreaking thing you can go through and is a grief like no other so please be kind to yourself, allow yourself to be a complete mess and grieve, lean on those close to you and I'll be thinking of you xx

rainbow1982 Fri 08-Nov-19 17:46:18

Also, don't worry about the fact that it's already been four weeks, it's really from when you begin bleeding that you need to keep an eye on possible infections xx

Tiny20 Fri 08-Nov-19 18:16:10

Hi Rainbow 1982

Thanks so much for your lovely response, I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this 3 times in such a short space of time I can't bare to imagine. A couple of people I know have had a miscarriage and one of them took the tablets like you, which to be honest I was considering before it started happening naturally. This was my first baby, I'm absolutely gutted and cant stop looking at the scan photo, but I've got lots of support and I'm sure I'll get through it, I'm just apprehensive about what's coming next but I know I'm not the first and won't be the last.

Thank you I'll make sure I look out for any other changes in myself. I rang the midwife just now and she said they will leave it another 2 weeks before doing any intervention unless I change my mind myself for the tablets but she's recommending I wait it out and to expect more bleeding and pain.

Do you mind me asking how long it lasted for you naturally and how far on you were? Sorry to bring back sad memories ☹️Xx

Mum2b2020 Fri 08-Nov-19 20:03:10

Hi @tiny20 really sorry to hear that you're going through that. I had a missed mc in May with my first baby when I was 8 weeks but baby had stopped growing about 5 weeks. Based on my experience I would say you've definitely got more to come so keep those other options in mind. If I'd had a choice I'd have gone for a d&c at the beginning as I bled fairly heavily for a whole month before I passed the sac, at which point it stopped. I had gone in to be examined half way through that time and was told I'd had an incomplete mc so they suggested I wait for the rest to come naturally. During the first week it so I experienced painful contractions so was on quite lot of painkillers.
Just to end on a more positive note, I got pregnant again 3 months later (I waited for one cycle to pass so my body had reset) and am currently 18 weeks. The previous experience has made me more anxious this time but I'm trying to relax now a bit more. I'd definitely recommend early reassurance scans though. Fingers crossed for you. As I choose to believe, it wasnt meant to be that time, but your time will come x

Tiny20 Fri 08-Nov-19 20:33:44

Hi @Mum2b2020

Thanks very much for your reply, so sorry for your loss it really is the most awful experience but so happy for you now that you are 18 weeks! I understand you will be anxious but don't worry your beautiful baby will be here in no time 😊

Thanks for sharing your experience I'm suspecting I'm not through the worst of it yet so I'm going to see how it goes over the next few days or so and make a decision. Whatever happens I just hope I'm not waiting too long. The only thing the midwifes told me to do in terms of follow up is wait till I think it's over then 3 weeks from that point take a pregnancy test to confirm it's negative and ring them to confirm ☹️ xx

alphabetti Fri 08-Nov-19 20:38:06

@Tiny20 so sorry to read this. In September I thought I was 11weeks and had the tiniest of bleeding. That was the fri eve and it was only when I felt a bit constipated and nothing came onto pad. The Sunday the same happened. Monday morning I called EPU and was offered a scan that day.

The scan showed a heartbeat but baby was much smaller than should have been for dates. I was told to go home and come back a week later for rescan. By the Thursday I was getting mild cramps and the Saturday afternoon I started bleeding and then unfortunately woke up early hours of the Sunday morning with contractions and then passed large black clots.

I personally would wait things out to see if it passes naturally as it may and also gives you a little time to come to terms with things. If you haven’t told anyone speak to a close friend/mum/auntie etc who can support you.

Main thing is let yourself grieve and don’t blame yourself in any way. The nurse told me it unfortunately happens to 1 in 4 and that most people go on to have healthy pregnancies/babies afterwards. So sorry you are having to go through this.

jpclarke Fri 08-Nov-19 21:06:28

I am so sorry for your loss it truly is a horrendous thing to be going through. I had to have the medical option and had a d&c and I will never forget that empty feeling when I woke up. Like you I lost symptoms and was questioning whether everything was ok before I got the news. Time is the only thing that will help you feel better. I went on to have another early loss after my mmc but I am now sitting with my 1 week old in my arms so the heart ache can work out.

Please don't be afraid to tell people I was shocked when I opened up to people the amount of women that had been through a miscarriage too. Take care of yourself and seek medical advice. Time really is the only healer.

Tiny20 Fri 08-Nov-19 21:24:48

Hi @alphabetti

So sorry to hear about your loss. I've been feeling a constipation type feeling and pressure which I'm assuming means the heavier part is on its way. I told my close family and close friends by the time I was 10 weeks as I was just so excited, I don't regret it but it's just hard now I've had to tell them this has happened but they have all been so supportive bless them. It is so surprising how high the stats are but we don't know it because not that many people talk about it x x

@jpclarke so sorry to hear of your experiences but I'm so glad to hear that you now have your gorgeous baby 👶 it's just one of those things where you think it won't happen to me and because none of my close friends or family have experienced it (that know about me) I can't really ask about it so I really appreciate everyone's advice x x

rainbow1982 Sat 09-Nov-19 04:36:28

Hi tiny, I was 6 weeks when I passed everything naturally, I was 9 weeks when I had the d and c BUT that doesn't mean it will happen that way for you hun, it's not been very long yet and as daft as it sounds, hopefully you will just go through it at home. If not though the medication isn't unbearable at all, just some more cramping, I personally found it was sitting around in the hospital and filling in forms etc that made it more emotionally difficult x

MissingCoffeeandWine Sat 09-Nov-19 04:56:53

Hi Tiny20,

I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience, MMC at 12 week scan, began to bleed naturally. For me it took about 5 days to get to a heavy bleed, which then lasted a further week (including large clots) and then reduced down. I bled like a period - filling pads every few hours or so - for about a further week. I had a c. ten day break and then a heavy period type bleed again. I wasn’t in much physical pain throughout, but emotionally was a wreak.

I took two weeks sick leave off work, and shared why. I know I’m lucky to have been able to have done so and in hindsight all of it was needed and possibly more - both to let my body rest, and as I personally needed time to be sad and process.

We had also told some family, however, I told a few more following the loss. I was surprised at how supportive people were - and how many stories were shared with me in return.

I think I just wanted to message, that I remember somebody saying to me that there is no award for being too strong and pushing through loss, that it’s ok to take it as you need it to be. For me, that was time to cry and watch stupid movies and switch my brain off for a while. For you, it may be different. Whatever it is, I hope you are as ok as can be over the next while. Mind yourself xx.

prettybird Sat 09-Nov-19 11:07:57

I had two MMCs, discovered at c12 weeks.

It helped me (we're all different) that a GP friend told me that the 1st one probably hadn't happened as long before as the measurements suggested, as the size itself would reduce once it was no longer viable sad

I had ERPCs both times (medical management they call it something else more sensitive now) as my body doesn't seem to register that the pregnancy has stopped sad

The ERPC of my 2nd MMC was delayed about 2 weeks because the hospital was misinterpreting the sonographer's report (who was surprised I kept coming back --because I was told to--angry) and then wanted to delay even more to do bloods (my GP had already done 3 sets which showed there was no set). I may have had a bit of a tantrum in the public area at that point wink (they very quickly put dh and me into a private room to talk to me and agree the ERPC the following day grin)

The best bit of advice I got was from a work colleague the first time (I was very open about what had happened): remember you have been pregnant and that your hormones will be all over the place. Don't try to be "normal" - accept that it's ok to be angry, upset, illogical, whatever. And look after yourself thanks

Work were good and I had a couple of weeks off both times.

Tiny20 Sat 09-Nov-19 12:30:48

Hi everyone,

Thank you all so so much for sharing your individual experiences with me it's really helped and its so comforting to know others have been through the same and have come out stronger. I also hope this post helps others looking for advice just like me.

Little did I know what would happen after writing this last night ... I went to bed and woke up at 2am with waves of pain which started weak and about 5 minutes apart, this soon escalated to strong pains at 1 min/30 seconds apart. I called the midwife who explained I was going into labour with contractions and to take both codeine and paracetamol and to get into a hot bath.. I did this and can honestly say I've never felt pain like it (never been pregnant before so didn't know fully what to expect for contraction pain). I called back at 3:30 because nothing had passed and I just wanted to go to hospital as I was so scared and would of done anything to stop the pain.

She said to come down but as soon as I stood up and walked to my bedroom I passed a lot of clots/blood and the pain instantly stopped so I stayed home. A bit tender this morning both nothing bad and shortly after that I passed my baby 😔 I am all over the place at the minute and the experience I had last night feels like a dream but I'm hoping I'm physically over the worst now but I'm going to take another week off work (2 in total) to rest and accept what's happened.

It's really helped speaking to you all so thank you so so much xx

rainbow1982 Sat 09-Nov-19 14:41:41

Oh tiny it sounds like physically it is over for you and I hope so 🤞Be kind to yourself, cry whenever you want and for however long you want. I didn't get dressed for days and sat staring at the tv eating complete crap. After my 3 losses I'm now 10 weeks pregnant and I'd genuinely given up hope and was looking at adoption so there is hope. Wishing you all the best lovely, keep your feet up and rest xx

Tiny20 Sat 09-Nov-19 15:15:32

Thanks so much rainbow,

I'm so pleased for you, you have got soo many happy times to come after such sad losses. Hopefully I will have my own rainbow baby one day too I'm sure x x

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