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Could you please tell me I'm normal on this really unimportant-in-the-scheme-of-things matter? Thanks

(56 Posts)
BellaBear Sun 12-Aug-07 13:49:13

I am 14+5. I worry too much. Despite having a scan two weeks ago and seeing a (literally) bouncing baby, I seem to be constantly worried that something is wrong, and every time someone congratulates me (we told people after the scan) I want to touch wood. I also seem to be making 'if' statements rather than 'when' statements. I had a mc at six weeks in February but I don't think that is the cause of the worry. I wish there was some easy way of checking that everything is okay so I could relax. I think it is probably my fault for reading so much on the internet! Anyway, a few statements of 'yes, I felt that way too' would be really nice. Actually, just writing this down has helped, because it is quite difficult to say to people when they are so happy for you.

Tinker Sun 12-Aug-07 13:50:37

Yes, I felt taht way too I had a mc 3 months before I had my 2nd and never really felt relaxed about teh whole thing until she was born. I think it's very normal.

MerlinsBeard Sun 12-Aug-07 13:51:06

Bella, have you seen th pregnancy after m/c thread? there are lots of people on there who will, i'm sure, have felt thesame way as you do now.

BellaBear Sun 12-Aug-07 13:51:09

Thank you, I've actually started crying now!

Kbear Sun 12-Aug-07 13:51:38

Yes, I felt that way too! It's a stressful time, everyone worries about the things you're worrying about. Try to relax and not let these things overwhelm you and enjoy your pregnancy.

BellaBear Sun 12-Aug-07 13:52:02

yes, I've been on it, but it moves too quickly for me!

jules99 Sun 12-Aug-07 13:53:43

i am the same bella

i had a mc in jan at 8 weeks and another m/c in march at 5 week

i am now 10 weeks and like you seen the bouncing little one last week and all was ok,

but i do worry all the time

i am thinking it is the effect m/c has on us

i have had several scans and have another one booked next week,

i dont think the worring ever stops, infact i think it gets worse after the birth

how about a doppler to listen to babys h/b?

BellaBear Sun 12-Aug-07 13:56:16

can you buy those?

Kbear Sun 12-Aug-07 13:59:56

Sorry, when i said that I felt that way too I didn't mean after a M/c, I meant in the early stages of pregnancy. On reading the other posts the penny dropped - I haven't suffered a M/c and I didn't read your OP properly. Sorry BB.

jules99 Sun 12-Aug-07 14:00:13

yes bella, for about £30 on ebay, will do a link now hang on a min

BellaBear Sun 12-Aug-07 14:03:38

Kbear - I don't think it is because of the mc, I meant general feelings about pregnancy. So no need for apologies, I appreciated your reply

Jules99 - have just googled and read this so am unsure as may make me worry more!

Two of my worst character traits have come to the surface during pregnancy - unnecessary worrying and impatience. I want a bump so I have something to 'see' - does that sound crazy?

jules99 Sun 12-Aug-07 14:04:21


also listen to this

that is a sample of what you can hear

jules99 Sun 12-Aug-07 14:06:34

i know what you mean bella but they say that for all ultra sound scanning,

i think if you listened just at times of worry it would be ok

BellaBear Sun 12-Aug-07 14:07:34

thank you

aikigypsy Sun 12-Aug-07 15:42:34

Bella, I can totally relate to wanting a bump! Even now at 27 weeks, mine is... well, it's not small, but sometimes people don't notice. Random people on the street didn't start noticing until 3 weeks ago. It was a long time between finding out I was pregnant and having it be recognisable.

The worry is totally normal. It gets better when you start being able to feel the baby move around a lot (not too far off for you now, I think).

alkar Sun 12-Aug-07 16:21:30

Bella I completely agree with how you are feeling. I had a MC in March and am now 15 weeks and strarting to relax a bit. I did buy a dopler from ebay and it is really good for when you want a bit of reassurance. I read that it was safe to use twice a week for 10 minutes a time.

peanutbear Sun 12-Aug-07 16:29:11

yes I've got 3 children and felt this way with all of them I had a MC first and I think the panic is always there

hope that we all felt this way puts your mind at rest

BellaBear Sun 12-Aug-07 17:34:13

oh thank you everyone, it really does make me feel better!

MrsMcJnr Mon 13-Aug-07 15:55:38

BellaBear - absolutley feel that way and for the same reason. 17+6 today and still feeling that way. Come back and play with us on the PG after MC thread - miss you!

VictorVictoria Mon 13-Aug-07 15:58:53


Apart from the fact that I am 15+3 and have had 2 miscarriages (which I also am not sure are 100% the source of my anxiety) I could have written you post. Have no bump, feel 100% fine and am UTTERLY hysterical that something has gone wrong despite a great 12 week scan. Not hslped by lotd of threads about bnow big bumps are early on and how people can start feeling babies move from 15 weeks. DH assures me I was like this last time too.

BIG sympathy

fleacircus Mon 13-Aug-07 16:03:58

Hi Bella - don't know if you remember me from our TTC days but I'm really glad things have worked out for you. I'm now 21+2 and finally this feels real! I felt very similar to you earlier on, I think when we got to about 14 weeks I realised that I'd been assuming all the time that something would go wrong and was just waiting for it to happen.

Personally I'd be afraid to get the doppler, not because I think it would do any harm but because if I couldn't find the baby's heartbeat (and if even the midwife takes a while what hope do I have?) then I'd freak out even more. It's not too long for you now until you start feeling movement and once you can feel the baby getting stronger that's a big relief.

lemonaid Mon 13-Aug-07 16:04:29

Yes, I felt that way too when pregnant with DS. Feel that way again now (although earlier on in pregnancy so more justification for it IYSWIM).

missgriss Mon 13-Aug-07 16:12:42

I worried contstantly when I was pregnant with DS and I didn't have any miscarriages before becoming pregnant with him. I used to read pregnany magazines and develop symptoms of what I had been reading about 10 minutes later!

Everyone worries to some degree, some (like me!) a lot more than others.

muppetgirl Mon 13-Aug-07 16:17:04

I had a missed m/c before christmas which was found at 14 weeks. We went for a scan and there was nothing there...

This time i was physically shaking and feeling sick when we went for our scan. We had an early scan at 5 weeks, then 8 weeks then 12 weeks. Even at the 12 week scan I still didn't believe it -despite the picture of a very definate baby!

Is this your 1st?

If it is it can take a while to show but when you do, you will then be worried about how big it is etc!

I know it's hard but try to relax, what you are feeling is very normal.

Good luck

designerbaby Mon 13-Aug-07 16:19:52

Hi Bella...

I know how you feel - we had a scare at 12 weeks and even though I'm now 30 weeks and everything seems fine I still find it hard to believe I could possibly have a healthy baby at the end of all this...

The way I try and rationalise it to myself is thus:

Bad experience
+ bonkers hormones
+ weight of responsibility
+ too much information on the internet
- sleep
= (worry + paranoia + tears etc.)

Not that it actually changes the way I feel, necessarily, but at least I can understand why I feel the way I do...

You're not alone


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