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Scared, not excited and constantly worrying

(20 Posts)
loveyourself87 Wed 11-Sep-19 11:45:42

Hi All,

I need some advise and reassurance please. I'm currently pregnant and not feeling as excited as i thought i should be. I'm starting to worry about everything, will i have enough money for my maternity leave? Will my partner and i be able to cope with a newborn? am i good enough etc? It's as if everytime i am reassured about a symptom or worry of mine, something else pops up. I just about got over period-like cramping being normal to find out that there is something called a Molar pregnancy which is gives you the exact same symptom as a normal pregnant but there is no baby and you find out at 12-weeks! sorry to rant but does it ever get better, how in the hell did women back in the day do this before social media and google. :-(

basicwitches Wed 11-Sep-19 12:45:48

I feel the same in regards to how am i going to cope, the maternity pay, life changes! If you're worried about the oregnancy being viable then i would book an early scan somewhere! I'm now 27 weeks and still have panics every now and then and honestly sometimes i do just sit and have a sob at about how much my life is going to change but its getting less and less the further i'm getting. Hold on, it will get betterthanks

loveyourself87 Wed 11-Sep-19 13:18:17

Thank you @basicwitches.. i don't want to book an early scan because part of me just wants to go with it but can't help but worry, it's reassuring knowing that the worry doesn't completely go at whichever stage.
wishing you the best for the next few weeks xxx

RC1985 Wed 11-Sep-19 13:28:11

I’m also the same, my aunty had a molar but it’s really rare and unlikely to happen to you. I also worry about an MMC, ectopic, if the baby has issues, maternity pay, how I will cope, how he will cope etc. I think it’s just normal but it doesnt help you feel any better. I have a scan next Tuesday and I am literally bricking it! Xx

RC1985 Wed 11-Sep-19 13:30:54

I also worry about every symptom lol. Like I’ve had constant stretching pains and a little period like pains. I worry if I’m not feeling sick but then feel awful when I do. It’s just constant and I wish I could just relax.

Crystal87 Wed 11-Sep-19 17:31:09

I'm not pregnant, but had four kids and can tell you that you never stop worrying. There's always something to worry about during pregnancy, the newborn days, and as they start to grow up, but you need to put things in perspective.
Everything is going well and normal until you know otherwise. You can't predict what will happen. You can do everything in your power to have a healthy pregnancy and the probability is that it will be fine. But if something did happen, there's nothing you could have done. What will be will be.

loveyourself87 Wed 11-Sep-19 18:03:35

@RC1985 thank you for responding. It's just a never ending path of fear and worry for us women. I'm the same as you, I don't want to have symptoms but when they disappear for a few hours I worry too lol.. hope your scan goes well, let us know how it went. Xxx

loveyourself87 Wed 11-Sep-19 18:05:51

@Crystal87 thank you. I know deep down that whatever will be will be, and there is absolutely nothing I can do at this stage, I guess I'm just angry At myself for overthinking and constantly googling symptoms! I hope this all calms down once I have my scan.. xxx

LStN1991 Wed 11-Sep-19 18:58:31

Everything you're describing is completely normal, especially if you're a first time mum. When I was pregnant with my mum, I must've looked like a right odd ball, groping my boobs in the street just to make sure they were still sore 😂

Molar pregnancies are incredibly rare, & for the love of god, do not google anything! I hope everything works out for you. Stop worrying, think rationally (easier said than done) & enjoy being pregnant. Cause once bambino is here, that's when the hard work & worrying really starts 😉 x

LStN1991 Wed 11-Sep-19 18:59:19

Pregnant with my mum? 🤦🏽‍♀️ I've still got baby brain now & my kid is 7 haha

loveyourself87 Wed 11-Sep-19 19:31:28

@LStN1991 😂 I laughed out loud when I read your typo! Thank you for your lovely and honest words, it feels good knowing that this is all normal and I'm not the first nor last to experience all these worries.. now to fast forward to my first scan so I can finally start telling people! Feels weird not letting on 🤦🏻‍♂️

LStN1991 Wed 11-Sep-19 19:38:35

@loveyourself87 make sure you look after yourself & bean. Let us know how you get on. Exciting times! x

BCBG Wed 11-Sep-19 19:41:10

Hi Loveyourself, I felt EXACTLY as you do with my number 1. Made myself ill. He's now 27 and ran a mountain marathon in Sweden this weekend, and he has three siblings. Go figure. Enjoy your pregnancy it's probably the last peace you'll have for thirty odd years wink

loveyourself87 Wed 11-Sep-19 19:44:52

@BCBG ahh that is so lovely to hear. Xx

Jesskir89 Wed 11-Sep-19 21:44:32

Completely normal I was so anxious due to prior mc at 16 weeks. I'm almost 13 weeks now and I am less anxious but it's still there. Remember whatever will be will be but rather than being worried something bad will happen try and think in a few months you will have a beautiful baby smile

loveyourself87 Thu 12-Sep-19 10:12:01

@Jesskir89 so sorry to hear about your previous miscarriage and sending you lots of love for your little bean. You are right, focus on the positive and whatever will be will be xx

sadtoday21 Thu 12-Sep-19 11:40:58

Have you ever had a molar pregnancy or MMC? If not, I think its a bit insensitive to worry about it. I've had it, it's really rare, I was in the .01% and I didn't find out until 12 week scan. I didn't worry before I had it and you should honestly try to just enjoy the pregnancy if you have no medical reason to worry. If you can't do this, then get an early scan.

It's really hard to enjoy pregnancy once you have been through something traumatic, but if you are perfectly healthy and just googling things to scare yourself, that is a bit pointless tbh and unnecessary. Chances are you will be fine. Xxx

loveyourself87 Thu 12-Sep-19 12:00:56

@sadtoday21, why is it insensitive to worry about it? from what the other ladies have mentioned is that worrying about anything that could potentially harm you or baby is normal? the point i was making is that i am scared, and once i get over one thing there is always another. For me a Molar pregnancy would be devastating. Thank you for your reassuring words nonetheless and sorry to hear about your previous Molar pregnancy x

sadtoday21 Thu 12-Sep-19 13:15:17

@loveyourself87 Yes, it was extremely devastating. My point is only that if you are perfectly healthy and have never had a MC, then there is no reason to worry if you don't have to. Yes, it's normal to a certain extent, but more so if you have actually suffered MC in the past. You should discuss this with your midwife if it gets worse or just go for an early scan and get reassurance. Xxx

loveyourself87 Thu 12-Sep-19 13:27:56

@sadtoday21 You are right, thank you xx

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