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Pregnant after a stillbirth - This has been a terrible day

(49 Posts)
CHOCOLATEPEANUT Tue 07-Aug-07 21:27:48

I lost a little girl two years ago at 24 weeks.All was well and one day movements just stopped.A scan confirmed the worse and I delivered her a few days later.

I am currently in my 24 week of another pregnancy. I knew this would be a difficult week to get through and I have lots of appointments and a scan to reassure me but today was awful.

Baby has to date been very active. This morning he was very quiet and I am usually woken by lots of movemnents.I drove to work and went about my daily appointments waiting for a movement and none came. By lunch I was so worried I came home.

On the drive home I had already in my mind been told he was dead and was arranging another funeral and telling my dd that she was not going to be a big sister (again)

I walked in and went for a lie down and THANK GOD I felt a movement and then another.

Still a bit less than usual but feel ok now and seeing midwife in morning.

I am finding this pregnancy increasingly difficuly and wonder if I get to 40 weeks what state I will be in by then.

Has anyone else had a similar experience and how did you get through it?

VeniVidiVickiQV Tue 07-Aug-07 21:29:24

Aww you poor thing. Im sorry to hear of your loss

THere is plenty of worry in pregnancy, without this on top.

It's good they are monitoring you regularly though, to reassure you.

Sexonlegs Tue 07-Aug-07 21:30:34

Oh you poor lamb. I gladly have never been in your situation, and cannot begin to think what you have been going through.

I keep everything crossed that all goes well for you for the rest of your pregnancy.

Have you thought about buying a fetal heart monitor just to keep you re-assured.

birthdaycake Tue 07-Aug-07 21:30:41

Why don't you call labour ward and ask to go in this pm to be checked over - just for reassurance. They'll understand and won't mind at all if you explain why you're feeling the way that you are.

moondog Tue 07-Aug-07 21:30:47

How awful for you.

Have you shared your fear with your mw?

Have you ever done a kick chart to reassure yourself?

beansprout Tue 07-Aug-07 21:31:12

ChocolatePeanut - so sorry to hear you have had a difficult day which is entirely understandable in the circumstances. Sorry I don't have any particular advice, just wanted to say hi.

FoghornLeghorn Tue 07-Aug-07 21:32:02

Must be so hard PB. Maybe a doppler or something would be a good idea

FoghornLeghorn Tue 07-Aug-07 21:33:00

CP Was thinking of peanut butter for some reason and I don't even like the stuff

CHOCOLATEPEANUT Tue 07-Aug-07 21:49:08

My mw knows how I am so does hosp.I went down there a few weeks ago as I was worried and they saw me staright away.

I resisted getting a doppler as I thought if I dont get it positioned right I might end up worrying more.

Baby moving now though less and seeing mw in morning.

Sorry for tmi but I am very constipated and full of wind,I wonder if thats got anything to do with it?

Thanks for support

frapachino Tue 07-Aug-07 21:52:43

Poor you, take a breath and try to relax. Lightening very rarely strikes twice - I'm sure that everything will be okay this time but I know you wont relax until you can hold your little bundle of joy in your arms. Perhaps once this week is over you may feel a little better.

Sexonlegs Tue 07-Aug-07 21:53:39

CP, keep us posted. Have you tried eating sugary things or chewing ice cubes. I seem to recall from the antenatal group I was in, that these things can make baby move more. I know when I went for a scan, they couldn't see baby's head properly, so she sent me off to eat chocolate to get the baby to move - and it worked.

Good luck. x

CarGirl Tue 07-Aug-07 21:55:17

If the baby is moving less just go, its worth it for your sanity. Or try a cold drink or lollipop that always used to wake mine up.

This must be a truly awful experience please don't worry about what the hospital will think of you turning up!

tortoiseSHELL Tue 07-Aug-07 21:57:37

Sorry you're having so much anxiety - I can totally understand it. A way to get them moving if you're feeling particularly anxious (I believe) is to have a large drink of cold orange squash (sugary) and a bar of chocolate, then lie down on your left side for half an hour - it's supposed to give them a sugar rush and get them fidgeting.

Not great science, but it seemed to work when I tried it - no doubt someone will correct me though!

Marina Tue 07-Aug-07 21:58:51

Chocolatepeanut, I am so sorry, what a rotten, miserable experience.
I lost a son at 21 weeks five years ago this month and was pregnant with dd less than a year later. At 18 weeks, routine antenatal appt failed to find a heartbeat . The MW drove me to hospital herself in defiance of all the rules, maintaining an aura of calm reassurance, and I was sped through FAU at 100mph. Like you, I was utterly convinced the baby had died, and was mainly wondering how to tell ds a second time.
She was of course fine. But the cold numbness of that day stayed with me for a long time, and I met the woman who was next in line at that antenatal clinic at a mums and babies group months after. When she found out by chance that the cause of all the panic that day was me, and dd was fine after all, she burst into tears and said she had been haunted by wondering if everything had been OK. Apparently the clinic receptionist had been in tears too explaining to all the waiting clients why they'd have to come back another day
Dd makes up for those stressful nine months every day though, and I wish you a similarly successful outcome.
Reminding myself often to take the pregnancy one day at a time did help, trite though it sounds. XXX

callmeovercautious Tue 07-Aug-07 21:59:16

CP - if you are a bit full there may be less room to move about. Best tip I was given was to drink some ice cold water (or milk). LO wiggles as it goes through. It reassured me several times!

Good luck x

maisym Tue 07-Aug-07 22:02:27

cp - so sad to hear what happened.

Hope everything is ok - call your mw to talk it over xxx

CHOCOLATEPEANUT Tue 07-Aug-07 22:03:54

dh just goy in from work and making me a cold ribena now.

Marina

thanks for sharing your story. I am glad you had a happy outcome.

imaginaryfriend Tue 07-Aug-07 22:05:09

Oh my goodness you poor thing. I worried myself silly when I couldn't feel dd moving and that was without having had your terrible experience.

Do you know what brought about the previous still birth? If so is there any way of checking the same problem isn't there in this pregnancy so you can set your mind at rest?

I remember dd having very quiet days with hardly any movement, I'm sure it's very normal, but I'm not at all surprised you're anxious.

Marina Tue 07-Aug-07 22:06:30

Good luck tomorrow. They should be giving you lots of extra support and TLC because of your history of stillbirth XXX

CHOCOLATEPEANUT Tue 07-Aug-07 22:09:41

My dd had a full post mortem and they found nothing.
dh and I had lots and lots of tests and again nothing

They said just one of those things which at the time I was frustrated by but then I realised if there was a reason then chances are it would happen again

Thats not to say I did not question everyting I did days before.Eat too much chocolate,stroke a horse, lift other dd up..

It really is awful but I pray god wont let it happen again

bumperlicious Tue 07-Aug-07 22:14:03

God, CP, you must be terribly anxious. I think it's great you've got this far without going insane. I really hope everything will be ok for you for the rest of this pg.

Marina, what a sad story too. Can't imagine what you both must have gone through.

Take it easy CP

Marina Tue 07-Aug-07 22:14:10

We never found out either
My consultant said firmly that this was actually the "best" outcome as there was nothing needing treatment/further investigation/genetic counselling, but I didn't share his perspective tbh
Chocolatepeanut, I had quite a bit of counselling during my third pregnancy - I did much of my grieving for ds2 then I think. Do you feel it might help you, maybe?

imaginaryfriend Tue 07-Aug-07 22:16:05

CP, wishing you all the very best.

imaginaryfriend Tue 07-Aug-07 22:16:29

Marina for you too.

Kaloo20 Tue 07-Aug-07 22:18:22

CP
So sorry to hear about your angst ridden day, I totally understand about your concerns and how you are feeling. At 24.5 weeks I had a very premature baby that didn't survive. Next time round as 24 weeks approached I was very aware of every movement, and quiet period baby made. Like another poster said, lightening doesn't strike twice, but rather than counting off each day of pregnancy in an anxious state up to 40 weeks why not book a double appointment and talk to your doctor about your feelings.

I hope you can try to enjoy the next few weeks of your pregnancy before that awful 'too fat to move' stage, I am sure you are well versed with statistics, 28 weeks is a milestone, 32 weeks and 36 weeks. You will do it.

Thinking of you x

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