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Pregnancy

Feeling sorry for myself

15 replies

Feelingsorryforself · 20/08/2019 19:03

Having a few days where I can’t seem to shake feeling sorry for myself.

Feel like my partner doesn’t find me attractive, I can no longer see my vagina to be able to keep it near and tidy (25 week pregnant) and have to ask my partner which I know he doesn’t like coming near me anyway I just feel like shit.

Stretch marks all over my boobs just hoping and praying I don’t get them all over my stomach.

Just feeling sad really. I’m happy I’m pregnant as it’s something I’ve wanted for so many years and I’m upset that I’m not enjoying every second of it as I know some women would kill to have what I have at the Min as once upon a time I was one of these women.

Am I a bit depressed? Is it normal to feel like this during pregnancy due to raging hormones? I’m not gaining weight but can tell on my legs and ass and obviously my belly is bloody massive!

Fed up with the heartburn and I’ve still got fucking ages left. People remind me daily that I’m going to get bigger too as if I don’t already know!

Prepared to be told to shut up and get on with it but guess writing it down is a bit of an outlet

OP posts:

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Feelingsorryforself · 20/08/2019 19:06

Everything my partner is doing is pissing me off. He’s currently picking his nose and wiping it on the dressing gown he’s wearing which is mine.
Biting his nails and spitting them everywhere. Why don’t I just say something you probably are thinking? Because if I open my mouth I will probably explode

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Rachelover40 · 20/08/2019 19:28

Explode! Your partner is exhibiting disgusting traits, don't let that go.

Regarding keeping your vulva neat and tidy, as long as it's clean, why worry? I can't imagine many women ask their partner's to do depilation (or put in rollers if that is your usual :-) ).

Cheer up girl, this will pass and you'll be back to normal in no time.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, it's great news.

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Feelingsorryforself · 20/08/2019 19:41

Thank you!

I just don’t want it to get too unruly and in manageable! Coz it will make me feel even more gross than I already do!

He can get the vac out tomorrow AND wash my dressing gown the dirty bugger

OP posts:

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Rachelover40 · 21/08/2019 00:42

Er....the vac? For tidying your ...?
No, you didn't mean that. Or did you?
Interesting thread this, thanks for posting it :-).

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Mollie3 · 21/08/2019 04:13

It’s normal to feel a bit crap when pregnant! I didn’t shave from about 30 weeks who cares wot OH thinks. Not everyone glows and feels eternally grateful for the bundle of joy that has been bestowed upon them. Even if you have been trying for decades pregnancy can still make you feel rubbish. It can be like an illness but with one big difference, a lovely gift at the end of it all! X

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NewMum54321 · 21/08/2019 04:26

Just remind yourself that it'll all be worth it. (Your body changes, not your husband's gross habits, I'd be exploding at my husband if he was doing that!)

Heartburn.... Those gaviscon tablets were the only thing that remotely helped me. Double action or something?

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AndBeholdAWhiteHorse · 21/08/2019 06:59

I can understand where you're coming from. I'm super sensitive to stuff my DP says (made some comment about a girl) and does when I'm looking half pregnant half whale. It makes me feel a bit crap too. Unfortunately some women do just get bigger all over. My legs face arms and tummy have all grown and I know I have put on weight.

Would it be worth speaking gently with your partner telling him how you feel just so he knows to be a bit more thoughtful. You say he doesn't want to come near you though?!? I hope that is in relation to a tidy up and no any other physical contact is witheld because without some hugs and intimacy of course you're gonna feel like shit. If that's the case then I definitely think you need a chat.

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Chitarra · 21/08/2019 07:05

Being pregnant is basically not that great. I mean some women do have amazing pregnancies but most of us feel sick / tired / hormonal (nice word for full of rage) / unattractive / the size of a hippo for at least part of the time. Don't put pressure on yourself to enjoy every second OP.

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SinkGirl · 21/08/2019 07:19

I had twins nearly 3 years ago and can remember how miserable and in pain and just fed up I was by this point (although I was the size of a small motorhome by then).

Honestly, forget about your pubic hair - if we were meant to remove it we wouldn’t lose sight of it or the ability to reach it! The last thing you need during pregnancy is an infected ingrown hair! I love DH but there’s no way on earth I’d let him near my genitals with razor blades.

Stretch marks sadly either happen or they don’t - I had twins and have only two tiny ones on my stomach but my lower back and hips are like a city centre map. It sucks but you get used to it.

Do tell your DH to stop being so gross though.

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fluffyjumper · 21/08/2019 08:35

I'm feeling the same. I'm 20 weeks and have hyperemesis gravidarum which finally started improving last week. I've put 10kg as advised by midwife to eat what I fancy and I want carbs or sweet. I have cold sores that are spreading around my mouth, my nipples are itchy and I'm having horrible abdo that left me unable to move or talk last week (all ok just a urine infection).

I feel frustrated that I'm not completing my list of jobs as I'm exhausted. I'm so happy to be pregnant but I'm worn out and still feeling unwell and trying to crack on with life. My first pregnancy was not like this.

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MrFlibblesEyes · 21/08/2019 09:38

How about using a hair trimmer/clippers to give everything a trim so it's a bit tidier but there's no danger or cutting yourself or getting ingrown hairs. I'm 32 weeks and I can see OK with the aid of a mirror?

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Bol87 · 21/08/2019 14:00

Honestly, who cares about pubic hair?! I don’t much care when I’m not pregnant.. I wax for holidays but otherwise maybe have a trim now and again. If my other half doesn’t like it, tough. It’s my body. Thankfully he appears to still love me regardless & we have a healthy sex life.

I’ve got HG and I’ve not shaved my legs for weeks. The shower makes my throw up so I’m in & out in 2 minutes. They look gross but oh well. It’s not forever.

I hate pregnancy. I get HG which is soul destroying. I really did not enjoy my last one, I was overjoyed for weeks after I gave birth, partly cos baby but a big part cos not pregnant anymore!

I’ve learnt it’s OK to not like it. It’s a hard job growing a human. It doesn’t make you a bad parent or ungrateful. It just makes you human. Same with being a parent, not everyday is joyful. It’s ok to need a break etc, doesn’t mean you love your child any less!

Keep plodding, you’ll get there! It is worth it!

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sarebear1983 · 21/08/2019 14:25

Pregnancy is full of ups and downs! I have days where I feel great and days where I feel completely rubbish. Even in my first pregnancy, I really loved most of it but I still had days of where I couldn't bear to be around anyone other than my DP and really weepy, tired reactions to things that normally wouldn't bother me. It's a roller-coaster ride! I'm 31+3 and I'm so much more knackered and uncomfortable than the first time round (the 2.5 year old toddler is another challenge this time round!) and I've found I'm more hormonal and I've got a bit of a shorter fuse. Just try and have a chat with your DP about how you're feeling but for some reason, little things they do can seem to wind you up more when you're growing a human!
I got my DP to tidy me up with his trimmer as I was getting closer to my due date. Strange to say it felt like abit of a bonding experience, we had a laugh and it was nice to have a light hearted moment amid all the real life stuff!
I wouldn't worry about being tidy down there, it doesn't matter. But I'm occasionally keeping myself abit tidy when I feel like it'll make me feel better by sitting in front of a mirror with a trimmer.
Everything you're feeling is normal, take some time for yourself and just try and go with the flow! Xxx

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1990carey · 21/08/2019 15:28

@feelingsorryforself hi, I'm 25 weeks as well, I know exactly how ur feeling! My emotions have been all over the place! I've been crying for the most stupid reasons, like my partner went for a bike ride? I wasnt angry and I was happy for him to go but as soon as he left I cried 🤣. And the heart burn is just awful!
However I would get any as well if my partner was doing the same as urs, that's just wrong! Definitely make him clean it all up!

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Feelingsorryforself · 21/08/2019 19:44

@1990carey oh this is so me as well! I cry at a lot of things, emmerdale, Corrie, nearly burst into tears earlier when I said I want to decorate our house nice (we are moving) I’m never usually like this haha it’s so weird! I am also struggling with the heart burn this is one part I’ll be glad to see the back of!

@sarebear1983 yes I get this too, he has just come upstairs (I’m in the bath) he bought me some lovely bubble bath and had it ready for me when I got home and now after an hour he’s asked me to get out coz he wants to see me - how dare he 😂 his hearts in the right place but I am more agitated and even more so when I’m away from him so I guess it’s nice to know I’m not on my own in that respect!
I let him lose with the wax pot last night (first and last time) and it was a light hearted experience although painful and has cheered me up a bit.