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How to tell people not to kiss a newborn

(30 Posts)
Angelinthenightx Tue 13-Aug-19 20:58:50

Hey all my baby is due in a few months ,i dont want people to kiss her when she is born due to someone i know having that herpes so how would u put it in a nice way to tell people not to kiss my baby.

MsSquiz Tue 13-Aug-19 21:04:37

I'm planning on just sending a text round when arranging for family and friends to visit. Something along the lines of "with it being cold/cold sore season, we ask that no one kisses DD as no one needs a poorly tiny baby"

DD is due in December and I know at least 6 family members (including DH and me) who get cold sores.

We'll also be asking everyone to wash their hands before they touch/hold DD as a few family members are smokers - just doing a blanket request on that one too.

Angelinthenightx Tue 13-Aug-19 21:11:32

A text sounds like a good idea ,i will do that im worrying already & she isnt even born yet.

movingontosomethingnew Tue 13-Aug-19 21:12:09

I told everyone and everyone does it anyway so I have reminded them all again and told them not to do it.

Angelinthenightx Tue 13-Aug-19 21:27:18

I would never kiss anyone elses baby even family, i dont get why people would do it. Im going to be stressed people coming to see her due to this .
i think i was worried when i had my last child aswell.

Lollypop10 Tue 13-Aug-19 21:38:02

This is a fear of mine. One of my friends gets cold sores and when her niece was born her sister said don’t kiss her. She would wait till she was out of the room and kiss her all over her face I would tell her to stop and take the baby but she was like. I can do what I want. I really don’t want her near my baby. Xx

Rarfy Tue 13-Aug-19 21:43:59

I'm pretty sure the cold sore thing only happens when someone has an active cold sore but I completely understand your worries. I suffer with cold sores myself and had a baby the beginning of the year and have had a few since then.

This might sound mad but our midwife told us for some stupid reason not to kiss dd. So we didn't. And we told everyone else they couldn't. Then the first day home my sil in effect came round pissed as a fart with bright red lipstick on picked dd up and kissed her on the head. shock

Angelinthenightx Tue 13-Aug-19 21:44:51

It is scary since babies have died i dont get why people would kiss a baby when the mum has said no .
im looking to get a sign there is ones saying dont touch just cant find any saying to kissing,im not taking any chances. I will be texing and saying also, i will probably get spoken about but that doesnt bother me x

Lightbulbs Tue 13-Aug-19 21:53:10

You can get little signs from Amazon that you can hang on car seats/ your buggy/ cot. Put ' no kissing baby sign' into the search bar... I found it really helpful as I had a very premature baby

MsSquiz Tue 13-Aug-19 22:13:59

Amazon do these pushchair signs
Do not Touch no Touching Baby Girl/boy Grey Safety Sign/tag for Newborn/Premature Baby Gift/Present

But I know some family members would think it doesn't apply to them! They think it's their grandchild/niece and just do as the want and that the mum is just being all PFB about the baby

Angelinthenightx Tue 13-Aug-19 22:14:41

Thank u i went on amazon and got one, ive had 2 prem babies also had a baby die when i was 20wks pregnant.
ive never had a cold sore but i still wont be kissing my baby on the lips so others shouldnt.
I will be saying the midwife said no kissing as im sure people will think im crazy x

MsSquiz Tue 13-Aug-19 22:20:37

@Angelinthenightx I'm so sorry for your loss. I totally agree with you.

When I told DH about babies coming out in herpes and dying, he thought I was just being dramatic! He also said "people will just meet her when she's 18" when I said I don't want any visitors for the first 24 hours! hmm
But I just keep repeating my points of no visitors straight away and no one kissing the baby, and I'll keep repeating it even if people think I'm rude! I'm not bothered about being polite when my child's health is involved!

Angelinthenightx Tue 13-Aug-19 22:52:59

My husband was the same,ive read a few stories of babies dying so im not taking the chance, i think sometimes we have to be rude to get our point across,im just feeling stressed about it,i will be saying now then again when she is here & the sign will be going on my door.
Alot of people dont know the risks so think that needs to change x

fluffyjumper Tue 13-Aug-19 22:59:24

I know mothers who lost babies or children who have long term health issues from being kissed as babies and contracting the herpes virus. Its serious. Maybe share an article about it on facebook and comment that newborns dont need kisses. Highlight the dangers to friends.

Horehound Tue 13-Aug-19 23:05:20

Yeh I'm worrying about this. My MIL has herpes so I deffo don't want her kissing the baby. I expect I'll just have to say "please, no kissing"

jpaws Wed 14-Aug-19 06:35:19

I just told everyone no kissing from the start and explained why. My grandma was the only one who thought I just meant her but my mum explained that I meant everyone including myself (I suffer from cold sores) and even my partner. She soon accepted it but I’ll still be hovering when they meet baby and will definitely remind them at the time.

Angelinthenightx Wed 14-Aug-19 08:31:17

Its nice to hear im not the only one who is worried about this & doing the no kissing rule. I though that id get some nasty comments so thank u all for getting back to me x

RachelEllenR Wed 14-Aug-19 08:59:08

Asking people not to kiss your baby's face is ok - putting a sign up is a little OTT

FairyDust92 Wed 14-Aug-19 09:05:55

Literally just say no one is to kiss your baby.
I don't let anyone kiss my baby and I tell them straight. It's my baby and I'll protect him if they don't like it then jog on.
I also don't allow strangers to put their hand in to reach my baby in the pushchair. I hate it when they think it's okay to do it. I don't worry about hurting someone's feelings when it comes down to my baby's health/safety

PuffsMummie Wed 14-Aug-19 12:13:18

I never knew about this so thanks for bringing it to my attention.

What's people's view on smokers? I will ask everyone to wash their hands before holding/touching, but for smokers would you ask them to change clothes, or refuse them a hold altogether?


MsSquiz Wed 14-Aug-19 13:04:06

@PuffsMummie I'm stuck with smokers too as my PIL smoke. I know asking them to change clothing won't be well received - they will tell me that they already have 3 grandchildren and it's never affected them! confused and I'm fairly sure DH will agree with them.

My only hope is to get everyone to wash/anti bac gel their hands before holding the baby... that way it's not just PIL "getting picked on"

Angelinthenightx Wed 14-Aug-19 13:08:50

With smokers i would say as long as they havent smoked just before holding the baby,a smoker always smells even with clean clothes so maybe let them hold the baby for a short time and change your baby bath her/him once they have left. I hate smoking so i find it hard also for a smoker to hold my babies but my worry is still the kissing.x

Angelinthenightx Wed 14-Aug-19 13:14:13

I think the sign is a good idea due to people forgetting or people just doing what they want,will be doing everything to protect my baby. I lost a baby to slap cheek so a little virus can make anyone lose their baby.

4storytoy Wed 14-Aug-19 13:21:04

So glad I’m not the only one that this really bothers. People seem to think last time I was being ott, but I’m going to say the same to everyone again this time round. It annoyed me no end when people would come round with ‘just a sniffle’. I find it incredibly selfish of them.

StarlightIntheNight Wed 14-Aug-19 13:45:43

For smokers, I would just put a clean blanket on top of their clothing when they hold the baby, make them wash hands as well. But to be honest, with a few of my friends who smoke, I said please don't smoke before coming to see the baby. They understood and followed this. As the smoke literally can stick on the baby. Its disgusting! My dh once went out on a night out and smoked, held dd when he got home (she was 6 months by then) and she smelled like cigs after! After that he never did that again. Thankfully, if he smokes its usually on a big night out, which happens like twice a year!

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