I am currently 13 weeks pregnant and just had the 12 week scan.. the baby looked nice and healthy and was jumping about waving its arm around, my DP and I have a lovely little 9 month old girl so had no reason to suspect anything would go wrong but I received a phone call telling me that the baby has a 1 in 41 chance of having down syndome.. this is a result of a very high HCG level and very low Papp-a hormone level. We spoke to a midwife at the hospital the day after and they said it would be a 97.5 chance that the baby would not be affected but we have agreed to do the testing anyway. This will be done on Monday and the results will be through by Thursday. The issue I’ve got is that we have decided without any doubt that we would terminate this pregnancy if the result was that the baby was affected as we have a lot going on if our life and in any case we would not be able to provide the baby with the care he or she would need (this was not an easy decision to make but we have to think of our daughter who is only 10months at the moment) I guess the issue I have is that if the baby does not have downs.. I still have the issue of a poor functioning placenta which could cause all kind of problems on its own, I’ve looked these up with devastating results 😭 risk of miscarriage in the 2nd trimester, risk of stillbirth increase and risk that the baby is born really small.. I’ve spent every day since Wednesday when I found crying on and off.. I feel awful like I don’t want to connect to my pregnancy or baby now.. my DP was playing with our DD and he said to her you have food in your belly and mummy has a baby in hers and it made me shudder and feel really cold 😭 I had a really terrible pregnancy with my DD (gallstones and a house move that very nearly didn’t happen) a labour that went to shit (excuse my expression).. I was left from 7am till 2:00pm having contractions but no one would do anything as I wasn’t diluting and no one checked to see if my waters had broken properly as they didn’t think they had 😡 they then gave me gas and air which I was left on all the way from 2:45 till I gave birth to my daughter the following day at 6:52am and that was an emergency c section after they tried to forceps!!! Like I shouldn’t have been left that long.. there are things to do to speed up the dilation as after the waters break there are only some many hours they can leave you before they have to get the baby out! This is a different issue altogether so do ignore my ramblings 😪 my question which I hope i don’t get attacked for is.. do I carry on with this pregnancy even if the baby doesn’t have downs as I don’t want to connect with the baby if there are all these other risks to myself and the baby.. I don’t want to bond and go full term just for the baby to be born stillborn especially since I’d need to have another c section and I don’t want to risk having a miscarriage in the second trimester after I’ve let myself connect with the baby 😪 I keep crying every time I think about him or her.. but I worry it is more crying because I know I don’t want to continue if i am going to get more hurt in months to come 💔 please could someone advise
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