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Any older expectant mum's out there?

(226 Posts)
45andfine Thu 08-Aug-19 15:03:13

I'm 45 and rather unexpectedly having a 5th child. It all seems more scary this time around, familiar, but with other worries.

cockcrowfarm Fri 09-Aug-19 05:09:41

Hi, I'm 41 and expecting first :-) Im 39 weeks and just moved to a new city in a foriegn country so also feeling a bit apprehensive about what the coming weeks have in store.

Megan2018 Fri 09-Aug-19 05:32:24

Also 41 here with number 1, 35+1 (DH is 46). Bloody terrified- we have never held a baby or changed a nappy. Absolutely clueless. Having a super easy pregnancy though (apart from gestational diabetes), have never felt so good!

Em39ma Fri 09-Aug-19 06:16:59

I’m 40, expecting my first. Had very bad HG, and felt pretty exhausted all the way through 30 weeks tomorrow.
Having to finger prick 6 times a day to see if I have GD. The GTT made me very sick, so doing it this way for a week.
There doing because I measure 39 at only 29 weeks, so huge bump.
My waters are way off the scale.

45andfine Fri 09-Aug-19 07:23:03

@cockcrowfarm you're nearly there!!! Must be scary facing so much newness in one go. Have you got your delivery plan and hospital bag sorted? Oh and checked where the hospital actually is???

45andfine Fri 09-Aug-19 07:26:17

@megan2018 also nearly there, babies are great, but so daunting, I'm more scared this time around than with any of my others, but I think our age now plays in our favour. Did they pick up your diabetes through routine test? Is it an older mum thing do you know?

45andfine Fri 09-Aug-19 07:29:52

@Em39ma baby bump sounds heavy, how's it making you feel? Have you had extra scans? Seems to be a bit of a GD theme. What is the treatment if it is diabetes? Is the fluid measurement the water around the baby?

Megan2018 Fri 09-Aug-19 07:36:43

I was tested at 28 wks as I have a parent with diabetes, they don’t test everyone-there’s a list of risk factors, but its not age related. I had (and still don’t) have any symptoms and it’s managed with diet. Baby is growing normally fortunately. Its a pain but perfectly manageable and should go as soon as she’s born.

Age wise I was automatically consultant led before the GD diagnosis as first baby and have had growth scans throughout, but otherwise care has been the same and there are loads of older mums at clinic. As its not your first you won’t automatically be considered high risk on age alone.

What we did do though was have NIPT (Harmony) privately at 10wks as we were concerned about chromosomal abnormality. Fortunately this all came back low risk. I spent the first 24 weeks sick with worry about miscarriage though!

SleeplessinEastSussex Fri 09-Aug-19 07:52:40

I am 40 and expecting my 3rd next month although there will be a 9 year gap between this one and the next so feel like a new mum again. NCT classes start on Saturday!

starflake Fri 09-Aug-19 08:06:26

I'm 40 & pregnant with DC 4! I'll be 41 having her. Currently 20+3 & flying it now. Although in next month to test for GD as last DD was a big baby & so far this Baba is measuring big. Have 22 week scan last week, looking forward to that. Decided against harmony tests, what will be will be. I'm in Ireland & they don't NT tests at 12 week scan.

Em39ma Fri 09-Aug-19 08:32:25

I was consultant led from beginning too because of age, was ment to have growth scans every 4 weeks, but now having them every 2 weeks.
She is fine in the growing straight along the 50th percentile, but yes my bump is very heavy. 8 weeks to go and have a bump of someone that is at full term.
Getting anything done takes awhile, but DH is on gardening leave until January. So he is here to help me which is great.
Not sure what it would be like if I had any others, but I’m actually a nanny, but stopped work in October after my bosses sacked me for having a miscarriage.
The thought of running around after them at the moment even exhausts me.
How are you finding it?

45andfine Fri 09-Aug-19 09:09:02

@sleeplessinEastsussex it's 11 years since I had my last. How did they respond?? I'm absolutely dreading telling my girls. (11-16). And my mum... In fact, dreading telling EVERYONE!

45andfine Fri 09-Aug-19 09:11:30

@megan2018 agree re abnormalities, I've just got the combined tests back and so relieved to still be low risk despite my age. I was tested for GD with my 3rd, but not my 4th. I've put on so much weight already though... I'm thinking I'll probably have to be tested

45andfine Fri 09-Aug-19 09:13:15

@starflake what ages are your other children? What has been the general response to baby 4 news?

45andfine Fri 09-Aug-19 09:18:30

@em39ma people are cruel aren't they? Must've been terrible dealing with miscarriage and attitude like that. Better off without them in your life though. Must be lovely having DH around!
If I'm honest, I'm still in shock about my pregnancy, haven't told anyone except partner obv! Luckily apart from extreme tiredness in evening and some nausea when hungry, I've been absolutely fine. I need to start thinking about telling people soon as I'm getting larger!! Just don't want to be faced with people's negativity 😳

Missbdhfc Fri 09-Aug-19 09:22:46

I'll be 40 next month, due in November with my first.

Woolly17 Fri 09-Aug-19 09:24:52

@em39ma OMG that's just appalling! What is wrong with some people??

I'm 42 and expecting my second (week 32 - so only another 6 to 8 weeks to go). I had my first at 40 - I feel like there's even more interventions available this time round. I've got bi weekly checks from here on in (age, SPD and potential homebirth).

Anyone else going for a homebirth? It's not our preferred option but my DD arrived in 3.5hrs so there's a (legit) concern we won't make it to hospital in time.

cockcrowfarm Fri 09-Aug-19 09:33:26

I found a very good hospital already, my partner had been here for work in the last few weeks and been researching. I should be packing hospital bag but ive spent all day glued to the sofa reading munsnet!

SleeplessinEastSussex Fri 09-Aug-19 09:52:34

@45andfine - they were really upset, they wanted a puppy! They seem to be warming to the idea now. Although my 12 year old is embarrassed as me being pregnant shows we did 'the sex'!!

PetraRabbit Fri 09-Aug-19 11:07:28

I'm 44, so the closest here to your age. I'm half way through and all my scans have gone well, pregnancy is treating me well. For me this is a very much wanted baby after a miscarriage so I'm thrilled. I also have DC1 who is only just 2, so older parenting is just normal to me. I've loved it! Maybe because I know no differently and I haven't got older children as a factor, I just see it as a pregnancy like any other. Obviously I'm very grateful to be pregnant at my age. I'd actually love a third after this but wouldn't be able to TTC until 45 so not counting any chickens...!

45andfine Fri 09-Aug-19 11:33:41

@sleeplessineastsussex 😂 a puppy! Bless them! Think I'm most worried that mine will decide to upsticks and insist on living with their Dad more than myself. ( We don't live with my partner yet, and I don't think they'll be keen) 🤞

Em39ma Fri 09-Aug-19 11:36:55

Bosses should of known better,they had a miscarriage too.
We don’t desperately need the money, was nice to have it for the extra bits, but after the miscarriage was probably going to hand my notice in if I fell again.

starflake Fri 09-Aug-19 14:52:45

@45andfine the oldest was a bit weird about it! Think she was embarrassed that I'm pregnant at my age! She's delighted now, can't wait for Baba. Middle dc is indifferent about it all, youngest is dying for baby to come along, she's more excited than me & dp I reckon!

lumpy76 Fri 09-Aug-19 15:15:06

I'm 43 and expecting (5w5d) again after 2 losses back to back (3 losses in 4 yrs.) Very apprehensive can't even bring myself to believe I'll be lucky enough to carry this one. I have older children too.

45andfine Fri 09-Aug-19 18:08:17

Oh @lumpy76 here's hoping this one sticks well!! It's such an anxious time, literally taking one day at a time ❤️

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