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Idk what to do anymore....

(16 Posts)
marmargaga Fri 19-Jul-19 00:50:11

I'm just fed up with life honestly....
I'm pregnant by 6 weeks, jobless, my family will be so disappointed in me as I'm about to start an apprenticeship which is not ideal 😕 I'm just struggling with what to do, how to tell anyone... I just need some helpful advice.

Loti92 Fri 19-Jul-19 10:31:10

Sorry your feeling a little rubbish at the moment.
Do you have any one you can talk to like a friend who can be there for you?
I do believe things can work out perfectly if you have the determination to make them ok.
You just need some time to figure things out but I would talk to someone. It might not be as bad as you think.
I’m here to chat if you need to!

starfishcoffee Fri 19-Jul-19 10:45:30

Sorry you're feeling like this. When is your apprenticeship due to start? If it's not immediate maybe you could contact them in a few weeks and ask if they can arrange a maternity leave for you.

Having a baby is a big thing and most people experience tricky emotions especially early on. Have you got someone you can talk to?

marmargaga Fri 19-Jul-19 11:09:16

@starfishcoffee it just seems really bad that I'm starting a new apprenticeship and I'm already pregnant ☹️ I didn't even know I was when I had my training day 2 weeks ago and it just makes me look like a really bad, untrustworthy employee ☹️

Plus my family are so unsupportive, they would really give me hell, especially because I'm jobless and not earning a stable wage, I'm still waiting for the manager at my apprenticeship to see me for a proper start date but I've been waiting for a while now 😕

My boyfriend is very supportive and I know he would do anything for his child but I'm just feeling like an incredibly shit mother already ☹️

I know my family want best for me, especially my nan and mum as they had teen pregnancy's.... I guess they don't want me to be a failure and actually sort my life out before I settled down.

marmargaga Fri 19-Jul-19 11:10:38

@Loti92 I have one very close friend but she goes back to uni in September and it's far away from our city ☹️ so I won't even get her support or for a chat when I know she has things to do of her own ☹️

INeedNewShoes Fri 19-Jul-19 11:14:15

If your boyfriend is supportive and has a stable income so that your little family can support yourselves, your parents will most like over time be doting grandparents.

Do you still live with your parents?

starfishcoffee Fri 19-Jul-19 11:16:39

How old are you?

I fell pregnant with son and had an apprenticeship interview, I was a little further along than you but I just told them that I was pregnant. I didn't end up getting the apprenticeship - but I feel that worked out better as I just focused on my boy and didn't have to worry about it. I found a part-time job and my boyfriend worked full time, so we managed.

marmargaga Fri 19-Jul-19 11:19:15

@INeedNewShoes

My boyfriend is a doctor and has a very stable job but he just wastes his money and I'm getting so tired of it, maybe his habits will change when we have the baby.

Tho he still lives at home and so do I, my mum is unbearable as she steals money from me ☹️ and his parents don't like me as I'm not the kind of girl they want dating there son ☹️😓 it's really upsetting that I feel like I have no support.

We also live in two different cities, they are close but not close enough to live together, if he was to get a place of his own.

He has work in his city and I have my apprenticeship that it literally up the road from my house.

marmargaga Fri 19-Jul-19 11:20:13

@starfishcoffee I'm only 20 but will be 21 when I have the baby

INeedNewShoes Fri 19-Jul-19 11:21:34

I think if you are serious about starting your family with your boyfriend you would be wise to start making plans to move in together.

It sounds as though your mum isn't a positive support to you so the sooner you can be an independent adult the better.

marmargaga Fri 19-Jul-19 11:24:06

I really do want to move out, Me and my boyfriend need to have a serious talk, I'm seeing him tomorrow so I'm hoping we can figure this out.

I'm very scared to tell my family honestly, they will think I'm such a disappointment 😓

I know I'm an independent adult, but they still see me as a child...

I know they want the best for me but I really d want this baby, I just hope I get support

starfishcoffee Fri 19-Jul-19 11:32:32

I'm a similar age. I'm sure you will be able to work something out, I think you need to consider all your options (work, living etc.) it's great that your partner has a stable job. Would you like to move in with your partner and have your own home?

If you really want to do the apprenticeship, talk to the person managing it and hopefully you can have a maternity leave arranged. Take it easy, don't put too much pressure on yourself especially if you're feeling a bit low. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother, having tricky circumstances isn't your fault and people parent brilliantly in many difficult situations.

Also, some of my family struggled to accept my pregnancy but now adore and totally dote on DS. Try not to worry too much about that.

marmargaga Fri 19-Jul-19 12:12:15

@starfishcoffee I really do want to live with him but he's so childish with money that he wastes it and has never considered moving out his parents house, but he's a grown man and he has a family now so I wish he would just wake up and enter reality.

I do not get along with his family and there is no way I could live with them, if he driven insane and it would mess up my mental health.

He thinks I'm being slightly dramatic over it but it makes me so uncomfortable, especially as his mum always judges me ☹️

I just know that there is no way I could get rid of my child.

starfishcoffee Fri 19-Jul-19 12:54:13

Aw I'm sorry to hear that.

Do you believe that having a new baby will change his ways with money? My DP is also a big spender (hmm) but since having DS he's been a lot more practical and has provided for us as a family really well. He's not in a professional career though, so we don't really have that much to spare with rent etc.

I really hope everything works out okay for you. It can be a struggle but it's so worth it. I think you should defo have a serious talk with your boyfriend, it sounds as though reality has set in for you and you're thinking very practically whilst for him maybe he hasn't realised quite what a big deal it is. < same again for my boyfriend. It's early days and you have lots of time to sort it out and for him to come around to the idea of a family lifestyle.

marmargaga Fri 19-Jul-19 13:35:58

@starfishcoffee yes I'm definitely hoping that he will start getting more serious with his money.

He has told me before now that he wants to provide for us and he will start saving but it always gets wasted, I'm going to definitely have a serious talk with him tomorrow.

I want to go into this new start of my life with confidence that I can trust and rely on him to be a good dad and hopefully have the support i know I'm going to need.

It's going to be a hard year but... hopefully I can get sorted.

I'm due in March so it's gonna sneak up on me 😕

starfishcoffee Fri 19-Jul-19 19:04:30

Well he's definitely going to need to step up if he's having fun getting wasted using his money. < sorry, sounds harsh but it's important...

I hope your talk with him goes well and leaves you both feeling a bit more relaxed and confident. In the meantime, just focus on yourself and your baby... it will sneak up on you but hey - you'll have a lovely newborn to keep you busy! It can be hard but it's SO rewarding.

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