Advanced search

Pregnant? See how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy with the Mumsnet Pregnancy Calendar.

What's the best age for having children?

(6 Posts)
mother2b Tue 03-Jul-07 16:49:50

The reason i ask is because i have had a few comments about how young i am (am 20) and think that its quite rude, my mum had me at 19 (admitedly she was married but that doesnt matter these days)

i feel as if people are looking down their noses at me, i feel really ready to have a baby and it annoys me that people can just make you feel insecure by saying something like that

i think that by being a young parent i will be able to do more with my children and it means that all my family will be able to meet my child before they pass away and it will have lots of family to be loved by (it will be a fifth generation baby(as i was))

people can have babies legally at 16!

i dont drink, dont smoke, or go out clubbing, we are a stay-at-home-and-watch-a-film kind of couple and we would be responsible parents

i dont think age has anything to do with it, you can see irresponsible 40yr old parents!

i feel as though im getting tarred with a dirty brush

CatIsSleepy Tue 03-Jul-07 16:51:44

i think the best age is whenever you are ready to have them .

if you are ready now that's great- in some ways I wish I'd started a bit sooner.

LoveMyGirls Tue 03-Jul-07 16:56:02

It is very rude!!

I do know what it feels like though, i had my first dd when i was 17 it's only been since i got pg with dd2 when i was 23 i feel people accept me as a mother. It's very sad.

designerbaby Tue 03-Jul-07 17:09:06

I think you have to be old enough to be responsible and young enough to enjoy them... which I imagine means that the ideal age would vary person by person by anything up to 25 years... or more!

Careful, though, that you don't fall into a similar trap as those who criticise you for being too young, by maintaining 'younger is better'. There are a heap of pros and cons each way.

I'm a considerably older mum-to-be than you, and know several mums-to-be considerably older than me and feel perfectly able to do everything with their kids that you expect to - you won't necessarily be able to do 'more'... or less... come to that.

It is also my greatest sadness that my Dad won't be around to meet his grandchild - he passed away 2 years ago, and would have loved nothng more than to meet his little grand-daughter, I know. There's nothing I could do about that - I hadn't met the man I wanted to have children with until recently. People die at all sorts of times, for all sorts of reasons. There's no guarantees in this life, sadly

So just be a bit careful in your choice of words, lest you offend/upset as much as you have been offended/upset.



mum2george Tue 03-Jul-07 17:33:43

The best age is when you have the right partner and feel ready for it.

Sounds like you'll do fine to me

imreadyforababy Tue 03-Jul-07 18:06:31

Hi mother2b

There is no right or wrong age - its about you as a person.

I don't think it matters what age you are people still feel they have the right to make comment on your life. I'm 22 and have been made to feel like i'm too young.

I'm not sure if anyone else has found this but me being pregnant seems to have opened up the flood gates for comments about lots of things that i think are none of their business.

Advise is great but sometimes the comments just make you feel really bad

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: