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How on earth do you do this more than once?!

(35 Posts)
Sarahjct Mon 25-Jun-07 14:51:32

Hello all

Hope you're all well today. I'm 11+4 with my first (and v. pleased to be pg I should say) and have had the most miserable, grotty 5 weeks of my life with no sign of it getting better. I keep telling DH he'd better cherish this one as I'm sure as hell not doing it again.

But people do. How?? If you've had a rotten time first go, how do you get your head round setting yourself up for it again? I've heard all the stuff about forgetting how awful it was when they arrive but I can't see that being true. I'm going to remember every lousy minute of this! Particularly when I'm doling out the pocket money LOL!

PeckaRolloverAgain Mon 25-Jun-07 14:53:11

I am pregnant with my third and have had a miscarriage too.

I find with pregnancy, like the birth that your brain blots out the horrible bits over time so that your ready to give it another go!!

Suppose it has to or no one would have more than one!!


tasja Mon 25-Jun-07 14:56:18

Hi there

It gets better. I was sooo sick (flu) for the first 12 weeks of preg. from then on it was fine till 28 weeks. i started itching like mad! it was hell! i've still got scars like I scratched myself.
BUT we are talking about having number 2!
Yes they all say that you forget the pain and it is true!
When I was in labout I told my husband PLEASE PLEASE, I don't want another.

And now I just want more and more!

Good luck

bobsmum Mon 25-Jun-07 14:56:33

hI Sarah!

It's early days yet (although I remember it feeling endless in the early weeks).

You don't forget about the rubbish bits; there are just so many great bits that they cancel them out! And plenty of people do stop at one for various reasons and are very happy with their choice.

But a lot do realise sooner than they thought that they'd love to do it all over again

I've got ds (4) and dd(just 2) and I'm now wondering if there's one more dc missing - we'll just see what happens. It's gets so much easier the older they get - especially from about 6 months onwards - you can't remember what it was like to just be 2 of you

All the best and keep posting

alicet Mon 25-Jun-07 14:57:27

Sarah I am pregnant with my second and last time although not straightforward (got signed off work at 24 weeks as kept fainting) I didn't ahve the sickness or anything like I had with this one. Felt much the same as you at your stage yet now at 25 weeks have begun to think maybe..... And this one isn't even born yet!!!!

Still think prob not but it just goes to show that bad memories fade fast!

LucyJones Mon 25-Jun-07 14:57:55

you get broody and that overrides any rational thought!

dinosaur Mon 25-Jun-07 14:59:07

I've got three and I survived although I have to say that wild horses wouldn't drag me back to that delivery room again.

I did actually rather like being pregnant though.

You may well find that things improve once you get past about 13-14 weeks.

flightattendant Mon 25-Jun-07 15:09:46

Ohhhh...hormones! Biological madness takes over after a while I'm afraid, the idea of having sex and NOT getting pregnant just seems wrong! That little pink line on the test becomes an obsession...and because when it comes down to it, babies are just so goddam BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

Hope you feel better soon....the nasty bit is nearly over at 11+wks xx

reikizen Mon 25-Jun-07 15:12:01

Yes, I remember thinking 'How do people feel this awful when they have little one's to look after?' But you cope! Horrible isn't it? But I began to feel more human after about 18/20 weeks and it's pretty good from there.

fuzzywuzzy Mon 25-Jun-07 15:13:18


I found that I forgot the worst bits after I had my girls.
I mostly remember the times when expecting dd1 she'd follow her dads hand with a little foot, when he stroked my pregnant tummy.......Not having anymore honestly I'm not

gess Mon 25-Jun-07 15:14:40

I loathed pregnancy. Still ended up with three. By the time of my third (and each pregnancy was worse! ) my mother would just roll her eyes and say "hmmm you're not good when you're pregnant are you?" Too right.

Sarahjct Mon 25-Jun-07 15:15:29

Hmm, I suppose you're all right, or we'd be a nation of only children but, oh the misery.

What makes it worse is DH swanning around without a care in the world and it's all his blummin fault. Oh what a grump I am!

liath Mon 25-Jun-07 15:16:32

Never underestimate how powerful female broodiness is .

I loathed being pregnant first time round yet still got so excited when I got my BFP second time. If anything I loathed pregnancy even more this time but ds is only 10 weeks old and I fancy another baby. Slap me now!!

flightattendant Mon 25-Jun-07 15:18:25 too!!! And DS is only 13 days!!!!!


LadyTophamHatt Mon 25-Jun-07 15:19:56

IME you do forget or startto look at it throygh rose tinted glasses once the baby arrives. He/She will be sooooo adorable that you'll question yourself thatthe PG was actually so bad because the end result is so bloody gorgeous

However our DS4 is 5 month old now and I never ever want to be PG again. The thought fills me with dread.

I think its mother natures way of telling me to stop....and I'm listening this time!!!!

onechild Mon 25-Jun-07 15:21:26

i forgot about sickness when i felt dd moving then swiflty forgot bout the nice movements when dd started really kicking!
Thought labour was a doddle had waterbirth!
Got one dd ttc
You will find when your baaby stops doing the baby baby bit you will desire a baby and the desire overrides memories

liath Mon 25-Jun-07 15:22:02

Very true. LTH - ds is such a fab baby that I've forgotten the 9 months of misery. DH is talking vasectomies already !

designerbaby Mon 25-Jun-07 15:22:37

HI Sarah,

I was honestly all over the place in the first 12 weeks... crying half the time, like a rotweiler in lipstick the other half...

Although I was broody as anything and this little one was very much wanted, when reality hit, along with feeling sick and crap and exhausted all the time, coupled with that almighty dose of hormones (like PMT x 1 million) sendig my emotions all over the shop. Started worrying about my career, my identity, how we would cope fiancial and all that. Gave my DH one heck of a time, I can tell you. Poor bloke.

Then we had a real scare at 12 weeks, and were told our baby wouldn't survive, and suddenly all the rest paled into insignificance. Suddenly realised I loved this child more than anything and all the discomfort didn't matter.

Now I'm 23 weeks, all turned out to be fine, and can feel her moving around (occassionally belting me in the bladder too..) and feeling so thankful for her.

Pregnancy's no breeze for sure, and in the early days it can be hard to feel connected to the little thing that you can't see or feel but which is making you feel really crap. Once you do, though (and I really really hope you don't have the scare we did) everything changes - honestly!

Plus the second trimester really does get better. I still get tired out and a bit puffed and all that, but now we know our little girl is OK most of the time i just feel like I've won the lottery...

Give it time, hon. A few weeks and hopefully you'll start feeling better. Be kind to yourself in the meantime and make sure DH cherishes YOU while you're going through all this!


cupcake78 Mon 25-Jun-07 15:24:46

I have been pregnant 3 times, lost two with m/c after the ms had passed and I was very very very sick in all my pregnancies.

Because of when I lost the last baby I have been through a basic labour and I am very aware of how much it hurts etc.

I am now 27 weeks+ and yesterday I was talking to DH about when to the next one.

I have lost count of the number of times I have cried down the toilet that I was never ever doing it again. That it was all DH fault and that I hated him.

Ask me why and I have no idea!

All I do know is that it feels like a lifetime when your suffering but you forget very quickly. You are nearly through it, just take each day as it comes .

Sarahjct Mon 25-Jun-07 15:32:09

Thanks everyone. I think you're all barking but thanks!

I know you're right. It just feels never ending at the moment and I'm sick of everyone asking me how I am only to hear me say 'crap, ta very much' all the time. Just once I'd like to say 'terrific thanks!'.

Added to that, I might get a baby that looks like Plug out of the Bash St Kids. Will I still forget it all?

liath Mon 25-Jun-07 15:41:57

ds looked like a purple goblin when he was born, then a yellow goblin when he got jaundiced. I had Mummy Goggles on and thought he was adorable !

merryberry Mon 25-Jun-07 16:22:48

I'm just a few weeks pg with dc2. I'm going to do it despite yeeeeergh time with ds because it is such short time to feel rough, in the scale of things, and because it's a baby at the end, the end which does come soon. I usually manage to grit my teeth and nod palely at people I'm OK by remembering its not a chronic illness.

Mind you, I'm the first to ask for help if I need it, I don't martyr myself to it.

lljkk Mon 25-Jun-07 16:28:07

to thread title, F* if I know. 8 weeks pg and Feeling pukey with my 4th today, wondering if I am certifiable to go thru this again.

goingfor3 Mon 25-Jun-07 16:31:03

It really is ture that you forget how awful it all was once you have your baby in your arms, well was for me anyway. Now I'm pregnant again I remeber why I said never agin after DD1 and DD2!

beansprout Mon 25-Jun-07 16:34:09

I am 8 weeks and feeling constantly sick at the moment. I spent a lot of yesterday crying and saying that I can't do another pregnancy, while knowing that I would do anything to have ds and that some sickness is well worth it!

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