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I don’t want people to know when I go into labour - am I the only one?

(93 Posts)
Ohdofeckoffdear Thu 06-Dec-18 20:20:48

I’m only 30 weeks so plenty of time but I was talking with my DH about the birth and he wants to tell his parents when I go into labour (like when I’m actually in the hospital). I don’t really like this idea and I’m not sure why? I don’t see the point in telling people other than to say the baby is here.

I’ve asked him to not tell my parents when I go into labour which he will respect I just don’t see why anyone should know really.

Am I weird?

InfiniteVariety Thu 06-Dec-18 20:22:42

Yes I remember feeling the same! (long time ago....)

SoBoredOfWaiting Thu 06-Dec-18 20:24:20

Nope! I feel exactly the same way. I am 25 weeks currently so way to go yet, but I know they would probably turn up in hospital if they knew I was in labour. Not happening.

Sexnotgender Thu 06-Dec-18 20:25:30

I feel the same. It’s an added pressure you don’t need.

SunnyintheSun Thu 06-Dec-18 20:25:45

Your labour, your choice. It’s not for him to tell anyone about your medical situation.

And no, not weird, very normal.

MrsL2016 Thu 06-Dec-18 20:26:40

I felt the same and we didn't tell anyone until DS arrived. It just adds extra people into the mix to think about and keep informed with updates. I didn't want to worry about anyone else and I just wanted it to be the 2 (then 3) of us. I was in labour over night so most family were asleep and woke up to the good news.

TheGreenDot Thu 06-Dec-18 20:26:42

I was the same for both mine.
I felt odd. I think it’s because so much of life is out there with social media I didn’t want anyone to know anything. Not even my own parents. Till it was done.

LilySays Thu 06-Dec-18 20:26:54

Nope I was the same.

My Mum kind of guessed and tried to call the hospital (they obviously didn’t give out any info!). I just wanted it to be as calm as possible with the two of us, then we announced properly when the baby was born.

As I spent a lot of time at home in early labour I also just wanted to be alone. I’m quite a private person.

Do what you think is best. smile

BobDobbs Thu 06-Dec-18 20:26:58

I was the same. I didn't want the pressure of feeling that people were worrying, and waiting for news. I didn't tell anyone, and it was nice to call people in the morning and say that the baby had arrived.

GirlCroosh Thu 06-Dec-18 20:28:11

I did tell everyone. But my labour was looooooong, so DP had to send both families updates every few hours. I would probably tell everone again, despite it being annoying having to update.

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry Thu 06-Dec-18 20:28:44

We had an argument about this because he thought he’d want to tell people. I really didn’t because I knew he’d be on the phone to everyone instead of helping me and I didn’t like the idea of everyone knowing and waiting. I also wanted a chance for it to be just us for a while without interruption. Turned out I laboured over night and everyone got the news with breakfast.

KonaMum Thu 06-Dec-18 20:28:47

It’s totally reasonable to want to labour without feeling like you are under pressure. Once people know they’ll likely want updates etc and it can go on for a long time!

We decided that we would let our parents know when things were starting but that we didn’t want them to request updates or anything and that we would let them know when the baby was born. We let them know in advance and they were more than happy with that plan. In the end my husband did send a couple of updates as it was a difficult and long labour but I was happy with that.

It’s your labour and whatever will make you feel most comfortable is what is right.

KonaMum Thu 06-Dec-18 20:29:45

Oh and we only told our parents, not the world and his wife!

DogMamma Thu 06-Dec-18 20:30:55

Never been pregnant but even I know that you are NOT being weird. labour and birth are a private experience between the parents of the child. And I imagine when in labour the last thing you want to do is make chit chat and be worrying about how you look when in pain I also imagine I would perosnally feel quite vulnerable if it was me so no way would I want everyone knowing I was passing a football through my vagina or having a C section nope. Your being perfectly reasonable (sorry for the analogy I couldn't think of anything else )

scrivette Thu 06-Dec-18 20:32:13

We didn't tell anyone but they were short labours anyway. Although for DC 2&3 we had to tell my parents as they were looking after the others.

snowone Thu 06-Dec-18 20:33:37

I didn't tell anyone....,until I was about to push!! And then my husband rang my mum because she lives 2 hours away and I knew she would want to come as soon as baby was born (it was 3am too smile)

Don't think we will be able to keep this one as quiet - currently 27 weeks as we will need someone to look after DD

Ozziewozzie Thu 06-Dec-18 20:34:28

I’m with you on this. Previously we had told my mother and the stupid woman drove us crazy during an 11 hour labor. Through the majority of our sons birth my dh spent most of it on the phone to my mother! My dh is far too polite to say ‘bugger off’ If I hadn’t been in stirrups, I’d have bloomin grabbed the phone and lobbed it out the window. With my last child, we didn’t tell her. In fact we turned the phone off and played music instead. Far better.

MrsBartlettforthewin Thu 06-Dec-18 20:34:53

I felt the same. My mum knew with DD as I was being induced. But with DS and DS2 no one knew until after the event. Older children were already staying with grandparents so no need for the urgent call for them to come and take the older kids.

Lookingforadvice123 Thu 06-Dec-18 20:35:47

Not weird, I feel exactly the same. It's my second and my DS was born on Boxing Day, I was in labour all Christmas Day and the world and his bloody dog knew - which wouldn't have been the case if it hadn't been Christmas Day. So this time round I don't want anyone other than my DM to know, as she'll be looking after DS.

SoyDora Thu 06-Dec-18 20:36:06

First time we didn’t tell anyone. Second time we told my mum as she looked after DC1, but that was it.
Last thing we needed was the pressure of updating people!

BackIntoTheSun Thu 06-Dec-18 20:36:35

I felt the same. It felt like all eyes were on me, especially when I went overdue, and I just wanted to get on with it without feeling added pressure

YoureAMeanOneMrGrinch Thu 06-Dec-18 20:40:37

I said the same, and I didn't tell anyone besides mine and my husbands mum.
I said I didn't want anyone to know as I didn't want them banging the door down as soon as bang was born.

My husbands mum was waiting outside the hospital.

ThatOneHurt Thu 06-Dec-18 20:42:49

What the fuck?

No. As if you need any pressure on you.
As if you want them texting your DH when you're in the middle of a contraction, 12 hours in, asking how you're doing?

No thank you.

preggersteach Thu 06-Dec-18 20:42:56

I was the same, I didn't as y parents worrying if it was a long (Which it was!) And I didn't want his parents turning up who h there was a very chance they would be fine if they knew. As it was I ended up being rushed to theatre (all ended up fine!) So don't think parents would've coped very well knowing that as they probably would've wanted regular updates

Bishalisha Thu 06-Dec-18 20:43:39

I was the same with my second. Planned home birth and it was so lovely having this little secret no one knew about (apart from anyone who heard my screaming 😉)

My mum text asking how we all slept and I replied with a pic of DS holding DD saying that it had been a long night

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