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(30 Posts)
Corbby1 Fri 10-Aug-18 13:33:18

I think I am just looking for support...I am a mother of a 3.5 year old daughter and currently 24 weeks pregnant. I am so looking forward to being a mum of two, but I can't seem to cope with the general ups and downs of normal life at the moment. I feel like my head is going to explode, I am so emotional (possibly just hormones!) and I feel like I have a knot in my stomach all of the time. I constantly worry about everything from cleaning/washing that needs doing, where I need to be when, to panicking about having people over to the house. My husband is so caring but he doesn't understand and just tells me not to worry, but that is easier said than done.
Putting this in writing makes it all sound really pathetic but I am hoping someone can tell me this isn't completely abnormal! Thanks in advance smile

LottieLou90 Fri 10-Aug-18 17:33:54

I completely understand OP. I’m a mother of a 6 year old and due to give birth to my second any day now. This pregnancy is completely different to my last (aren’t they all) with my hormones going crazy. Sometimes I don’t even recognise myself with the worry that I’m feeling about standard household chores - even at work before I left on mat leave I was a constant ball of worry. I cried to my health visitor when she came over about how I was feeling and she assured me it’s normal and told me to see the dr after birth if I felt worse and told me that they are there for advice and support too. I felt better about a month ago but over the past week it seems to have kicked up again and I’m an emotional wreck!
Please don’t think that it sounds pathetic writing it down, our bodies are going through a lot. Take each day as it comes. Maybe have a word with your midwife at your next appointment if you feel it’s really getting to you but I hope this has helped in the sense that you’re not alone in feeling the way you do.

Corbby1 Sat 11-Aug-18 15:38:27

Thank you so much for your reply. I'm really sorry to hear that you are feeling the same way. I hope you are feeling better today.
Its definitely reassuring to know I'm not alone, thank you. I'm currently sat crying because my husband told me I'm ridiculous because I want to start getting the house ready. I know he's right but I feel so stressed I want to clear things from my head.
I'll definitely speak to my midwife, thank you so much for advice xx

cheerfullysleepless Sat 11-Aug-18 18:22:42

I actually started a few threads about similar things myself so you’re not alone! My son is nearly three and great but just keeping him fed, laundry done, house semi tidy and myself broadly on top of life is taking a lot even though on summer hols and husband doing loads. Only 16 w and tbh v worried about how will cope when I go back to work with the new term! Even when don’t feel worried about anything in my mind my tummy has the knot you describe or feel heart racing, it’s so distracting! Let me know if Work out a way forward and hope you both feel better soon! X

Redrosebelle Sat 11-Aug-18 19:53:38

I could have written this post! I was worse the first time round - teary, very upset very easily and just not myself at all. This time I have my beautiful 3.5 year old and he keeps me sane and distracted but I worry about everything - even stupid things like forgetting my lunch when I go to work. If I’m honest I’m driving myself mad. I have nightmares and seem to see danger in everything. Even when my husbands driving I worry we will crash the car and die. I sound so morbid, I’m not, I’m usually a really positive happy person but pregnancy does make me anxious and I seem to expect the worse outcome or terrible things to happen and I wish I knew why. I’m 25 weeks.

Corbby1 Tue 14-Aug-18 15:46:46

Thank you for your responses ladies. I'm sad to hear you are feeling this way. The things we have to go through for these babies hey? ;) I do hope you all start to feel better. I was still lying awake in the night last night driving myself insane! I look back at the things I was worrying about and it seems crazy now.
Big hugs to you all xx

cheerfullysleepless Tue 14-Aug-18 16:07:14

Having pretty bad day here actually - swam which normally helps and did for a bit and now just feel so tired and been googling all the worst most stupid things about what can go wrong in pregnancy (not done anything so daft in months and really no idea why other than tired and sometimes seems like good idea to reassure myself in some way could cope?!) - now upset self and need to get a grip stat! Xxxx

LucyMD Tue 14-Aug-18 16:11:02

I also could have written a similar post! I'm 33 weeks pregnant with twins and my anxiety and depression have been quite severe throughout the pregnancy. I'm stressing about big things as well as more everyday "trivial" things, like how the dog will react, whether they will like me, whether I'll not cope, whether I'll feel overwhelmed by MIL etc. And biggest worry is worrying about worrying too much and the effect on babies. My mental health midwife has been great so would recommend finding out if you can have an appt with one too? Lots of love and best wishes though, it is a stressful time flowers but I'm sure you're doing much better than you think

LucyMD Tue 14-Aug-18 16:11:50

And yes things are always worse in the middle of the night aren't they?!

Corbby1 Tue 14-Aug-18 16:30:29

Cheerfullysleepless I know exactly where you're coming from, it's almost preparing yourself for the worst, just incase so you feel mentally prepared. I do the very same thing. I hope your day gets better. The really low ones are so hard, keep talking on here if you need xx

Corbby1 Tue 14-Aug-18 16:33:32

LucyMD the worrying about worrying I'm familiar with too. I don't get why our brains do it to us! I'm glad to hear you are getting help. I didn't realise a mental health midwife existed, I may ask about that, thank you xx

LucyMD Tue 14-Aug-18 16:44:12

Yes definitely do ask about it! I've found seeing her incredibly useful, and its another friendly face to see and offload to!

Corbby1 Tue 14-Aug-18 16:48:47

Thank you xx

cheerfullysleepless Tue 14-Aug-18 17:30:59

Fwiw as per utterly crackers thread just started on Aibu (sometimes think mumsnet not good on days like this and should go for run!) psychiatrist clear that only really severe anxiety etc poses any even possible risk so am sure we are all fine. Won’t list my fears as they are as mad as they are dark but to give you a flavour was upset this morning as thought the schizophrenia my anxiety would have triggered in unborn daughter (there is zero evidence for this am just loopy today) would be likely diagnosed after I died so wouldn’t be able to support her.... someone give me a slap! X

LucyMD Tue 14-Aug-18 18:17:44

Cheerfully I totally sympathetise! Some of my worries are so extreme and unlikely and random that I'm weirdly impressed with how creative I must be for even thinking them up !

cheerfullysleepless Tue 14-Aug-18 19:02:45

At least not long to go now!!! Amstill only 16 weeks...actually looking forward to going back to work! xxx

LucyMD Tue 14-Aug-18 19:47:55

Fingers crossed for the rest of your pregnacy then! flowers hope it's as worry free as possible! X

Corbby1 Wed 15-Aug-18 08:53:29

Cheerfullysleepless I hope you are having a better day today. Do you guys have supportive partners? I just cried my way into work convinced I'm going to have a miscarriage, absolutely no logic/reason behind it. I'm driving myself up the wall!!

cheerfullysleepless Wed 15-Aug-18 09:10:00

Better today as back at work and not doing daft online research which is so stupid. So so supportive but totally doesn’t understand so can’t reallt help! How are you feeling now and how are your partners? Xzz

Corbby1 Wed 15-Aug-18 09:20:51

That's great, better to have something to keep your mind focused. My partner is exactly the same, so supportive but cannot get his head round it. Told me last night he has noticed my patience is shorter than it used to be with my 3yo dd (I am never ever mean and never shout at her) so you can imagine how that went down....xx

LucyMD Wed 15-Aug-18 10:50:13

Yes my husband's the same. Supportive but can't get his head around my anxieties as he's Mr Laidback! Sorry you cried on your commute this morning flowers how horrible for you. Done this a few times myself. Sending lots of love and hugs and hope the rest of your day is brighter x

Corbby1 Wed 15-Aug-18 11:29:24

Thank you very much. I hope you have a good day too. You lovelies are really helping me xx

Redrosebelle Sun 19-Aug-18 22:18:16

My anxiety is through the roof at the moment. Something happens and I instantly think the worst. I see danger everywhere, when I’m driving I think what happens if I crash, knock someone over, the list is endless! I’m exhausted through worrying but can’t sleep. My body feels so tired but wired at the same time?! And I cant sleep, I read until I’m literally dropping off but wake 3am and can’t get back off. I was like this last time I was pregnant and I was so glad I thought I’d skipped it this time. Apparently not sad I’m 26+2 and not sure I can bear another 14 weeks of this!!!! I do seem to remember my anxiety levels dropping quickly after I gave birth though I was teary and worried constantly about the baby. Does anyone else feel similar? I’m not sure whether to speak to the MW about it. I feel pretty stupid.

LucyMD Sun 19-Aug-18 22:32:58

Yes definitely do speak with your midwife asap. I did and was referred to a mental health midwife who has been so helpful! So sorry you are feeling this way! It's awful isn't it flowers

Redrosebelle Mon 20-Aug-18 10:56:46

I know this is ridiculous but I’m really embarrassed to say I need to see a mental health team. I feel like everyone will think I’m crazy!

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