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Dumbest things your DHs/DPs have said/done during pregnancy

(58 Posts)
PirateWeasel Tue 19-Jun-18 12:04:16

I can laugh about these now, but honestly...why do men think it's acceptable to poke the bear while we're up to our ears in raging baby hormones? facepalm Do they have a death wish or something??

My DH's latest offerings:

- "I hope the baby doesn't get your hairy feet"
- "I didn't realise your bottom got bigger as well"
- "We should do up the spare room in case your snoring gets worse, so I can go and sleep out there when I need to"

Not to mention many variations on "I'm so tired. While you're up make me a sandwich, will you?"

Go on, please tell me I'm not alone before I render him unconscious. Again.

RosieCotton Tue 19-Jun-18 12:15:39

"If you get much bigger you'll have your own orbit"

"I've never seen cankles like yours before"

"You can just belly bounce people now"

"Its funny you can no longer put your trainers on"

"God I wish you could still drive its hard work this pregnancy lark"

Some days I could just loose it with him.

Indigo89 Tue 19-Jun-18 12:39:18

After a big Sunday dinner at in-laws, "you'll have to drive us home; I'm too uncomfortable to drive"

Repeated tutting when I wake in the night with hip pain and need to adjust the pillow fort.

"Remember when you said, "I'm going to eat really healthily when I'm pregnant"?"... as I munch a bag of Doritos.

Driving past local running club, "you'll have to get back to running after the baby's arrived"

PirateWeasel Tue 19-Jun-18 16:05:29

Oh God, guys, those two driving comments! Why do they do it, why??? What the heck are they going to come out with when the babies actually arrive? Thank God we'll be allowed the odd gin by then, that's all I can say.

BrazzleDazzleDay Tue 19-Jun-18 16:12:17

I cant remember any stupid comments but dh put his ear by my mouth mid contraction/push... honest to god what did he think would happen?! I bit it

Carboholic Tue 19-Jun-18 16:19:14

My DH is actually really really good. But he blurted out, while carrying our tired toddler home from a BBQ, as I limped behind them hugely pregnant: "Urgh this is hard work... I advise you never to eat three helpings of lunch and then carry a child, it's really difficult."

Theweasleytwins Tue 19-Jun-18 16:30:19

'You look fagnant' not quite pregnant looking but bigger🙄because I was crying as I thought people would think I had put on weight as opposed to being pregnant (I'm fat anyway so was a hormonal mess)

'Oh I'm scared of needles too' then recounts the time when he was 5 and had to have lots of injections😑yes but they were taking MY blood and I am petrified of needles. Not helpful

PirateWeasel Tue 19-Jun-18 16:39:28

Brazzle, that's hilarious! A tiny, tiny taste of your pain wink

Thanks everyone, you're making me feel loads better and saving DH from the ignominy of being poked in the eye/bitten on the ear next time he delivers a honker. Apparently they all do it!

Aw12345 Tue 19-Jun-18 17:14:57

"do you want to go on holiday to Spain in September?" ... Baby Due 4th August. Rage.

jubbablub Tue 19-Jun-18 19:00:43

“Is October 12th too soon for us to go to s concert (EDD is 22/9).”

SomeKnobend Tue 19-Jun-18 19:14:45

I'm so tired. While you're up make me a sandwich, will you? Omg, is he ok? Because if not I will help you bury him under the patio. Well, my dh will, obviously, because I'm too pregnant!

My first pregnancy I had a craving dh wouldn't go and get me, I still go on about it 8 years later! He now understands the immense importance of ensuring any craving I have is satisfied (unless he wants to hear about it for years to come)!

Milknosugar1 Tue 19-Jun-18 21:58:17

Serena Williams won Wimbledon when she was pregnant

Loonyluna16 Tue 19-Jun-18 22:05:46

"Oh my feet are swollen and sore" hmm welcome to the club mate

In bed- "I can't get comfortable with this stupid pregnancy pillow in the way" get over it or be smothered under it either way I don't care it's the first time in weeks I've been remotely comfortable and there is still 10 weeks to go!

Aw12345 Tue 19-Jun-18 22:37:23

@Milknosugar1 my DH would be dead lol!! What are men like?!?!

Mrsw200 Tue 19-Jun-18 22:51:39

It's ok for you, you'll be on holiday for 9 months once you've had the baby.... needless to say I explained it wouldn't be a 'holiday'

BalloonDinosaur Tue 19-Jun-18 23:10:43

I actually made a list when I was pregnant. I told DP it was insurance so he couldn't get mad if I smashed out the C word at him during labour.

He called me a 'food hoover' when I finished his (unwanted) dinner. (To be fair. I was starving thoughout most of my pregnancy and ate pretty much everything in sight)

Said I looked like Rab C Nesbitt

"You shouldn't be standing on that, (living room stool) because it's quite thin..."

"Can I take these chocolates away from you now? 'Cos you've had quite a few"

Oh and called me a twat 4 times in the space of 10 mins I think I actually was being a twat tbf.

When I was in labour in hospital, he complained he was tired and that the recliner chair he had to sleep in was uncomfortable hmm

pennyw85 Tue 19-Jun-18 23:13:38

The amount of times my DH has mentioned Serena Williams!!! angry

Eggoispreggo Tue 19-Jun-18 23:42:06

Keeps affectionately calling me 'chubs' and thinks it's hilarious

SamanthaH92 Tue 19-Jun-18 23:50:20

"You are defiently a lot bigger now"
🤔 yeah thanks babe, I'm just growing YOUR child 😂. Didn't have a bump with DD1 but defiently have now with DD2!
Big girl anyways so hate to be told I'm even bigger.

"Have you pissed your self again?!"
Everytime i cough, sneeze or am sick!

Angharad07 Wed 20-Jun-18 03:21:33

Argued for hours over the fact that I ate a packet of SuperNoodles. I had been craving them all day and don’t normally eat them but according to my dp they’re carcinogenic (he went on to quote how the consultant had said to eat green leafy veg).

Thetimehascometo Wed 20-Jun-18 07:02:01

‘I think you’re exaggerating’ whilst struggling to keep up on a day out at 34 weeks...

We then went on to have baby a couple of days later with a prolonged hospital stay. He went home at night and came back in the morning complaining of a bad nights sleep 🙄 now we are home he knows what a bad nights sleep looks like 😂

Mybabystolemysanity Wed 20-Jun-18 07:06:46

Mine has stopped making me tea in the morning. He says it's because I am still sleeping.

Umm... I'm not! I'm just lying here because I no longer have the will to try and move through the pain of SPD because I don't have the motivation of your tea to sit up.

I want my teeeeeeeea!!!

Mybabystolemysanity Wed 20-Jun-18 07:07:32

I why does he think this is ok when I'm 37 weeks???

Iputthescrewinthetuna Wed 20-Jun-18 07:12:13

In labour, After a contraction DP thought he was clever and said 'aww baby do you have a booboo?'

We played scrabble in the hospital. I was contracting every 2 minutes and had been for 5 hours. I lost the game. DP who knows full well how competitive I am said 'You lost, labour is not an excuse you're just shit'

It is lucky he has a pretty face, I could have killed him!

londonloves Wed 20-Jun-18 07:15:09

God is it just me that doesn't find this stuff funny really? I think they're all massive tOssers. My own included. Still seething after a massive row about nappies last night though.

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