Wait it out or D&C?

[Iswallowtoothpaste]

Sorry for the mobidity. Found out today that I’ve had a MMC. Supposed to be 10+3 but baby died at 9+3, no heartbeat found.

I want to wait it out as I have been bleeding very lightly on and off. Really don’t like the idea of taking the pill. Having some back ache and very mild cramps but no more bleeding etc. I really don’t want to go back into hospital but kind of feel that if I got it over and done with normality would somewhat resume.

What would you recommend? Want to hear all stories good and bad.

[NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking]

I’ve had three MMCs in total, one was years ago, Two recently.

My first I took the pill and went in, it wasn’t a pleasant experience... I was sick, got the runs, it hurt, etc. I wouldn’t want to repeat it.

The second and third times I opted for surgery, very simple and gets it dealt with, however both times I was left with retained product so had the surgery, then haemorrhaged, ended up in A&E then had surgery again. Four operations in total.

I’ve never tried the natural route, if I didn’t work I probably would. But I needed to be back in the office ASAP, and surgery allowed me to return the day after the operation.

[NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking]

The whole process is pretty rubbish whichever option you choose, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this ☹️

[Mousefunky]

I would always opt for the D&C. It is the quickest and easiest method. I opted for medical management the first time which was a huge mistake, I haemorrhaged and almost died, needed an emergency d&c. Second time I opted for surgical and whilst it’s never pleasant, it was the easiest and quickest way. I was in and out of hospital in about six hours then could go home and get on with the healing process. It’s very personal but I just wanted it all over and done with, didn’t want to drag it out.

So sorry for your loss .

[Iswallowtoothpaste]

Oh god this is so awful. Bad enough being told your baby has died but now having to choose how to get it out. Hate the idea of it being scraped away and hate the idea of taking the pill but don’t really want to drag it out.

[ItsalmostSummer]

Oh it’s hard. I went with mmc. I didn’t want to go through with the trauma of waiting and experiencing the physical loss from my body (and my other children seeing - I was sole carer at the time). Sorry I can’t help more. Choose what you think best for you.

[NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking]

If it helps, it really is little more than a bunch of cells at this point... and it’s not suffering at all, only you are.

It really sucks, I don’t know if anyone else who’s had the complications I had, most people say it’s very straight forward. I’m still awaiting my first scan, but if it’s another MMC, I would opt for surgery again x

[PumpkinParent]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I have had two miscarriages at around seven weeks and a chemical pregnancy. I waited it out (no pills, just waited for nature to take its course) with the first miscarriage and opted for management under local anaesthetic with the second. Waiting it out took around three weeks for the bleeding to stop once it began. It was 7/10 physically painful at times but generally “ok”. The surgical management was over quicker (the procedure itself took 15 minutes) but, perhaps unexpectedly, was more emotionally difficult. It was much more painful than the expectant management at one brief point in the procedure (on a par with very spiteful period cramps) but the post-procedure bleeding finished sooner. The surgical management did not have an adverse effect on my ability to get pregnant again. In each case, the gynaecologist looking after me was really kind and that helped.
People suggested to me that I would not always feel as hollow as I did then and that proved true. I was desperately sad at the time but the sadness does change over time. I am sorry that you must walk this dark path.

[PrimeraVez]

Sorry you’re in this situation. It’s truly shit.

I opted for a D&C because I just wanted it over with and because I was terrified of the idea of seeing things I didn’t want to see and having to deal with the physical pain and bleeding.

For me it was definitely the right choice - obviously going into hospital and waiting around to go down to theatre was quite upsetting but physically I recovered very quickly with only light spotting and mild cramping afterwards. Mentally I think it also helped bring me a sense of closure more quickly.

[decbug]

Sorry op

This happened to me. I thought I'd wait but then randomly got chatting to a colleague in the kitchen at work and blurted it out . She was so kind and just said go and book your d&c in, just get it over with. It was the kind of practical advice I needed. So that would be my advice to you. It's a sad time but you'll be ok.

[MuddyForestWalks]

OP.

I had the d&c, it was quick and easy and got it over with. Plus I was able to tell people at work I had been off with a minor gynae surgery, which was easier than explaining a natural MC and meant that people expected me to be a bit wobbly rather than soldiering through. Sucks whatever way you do it though.

[HelloViroids]

@Iswallowtoothpaste

I had a MMC two weeks ago, went for my 12 week scan and found no heart beat Had an ERPC (surgical option, basically a D&C) 2 days later - I had had no bleeding so had no idea how long it might take before anything happened naturally and couldn’t stand the thought of waiting. I got an infection from the surgery and had to have strong antibiotics - has taken until today for me to feel like normal again.

[myrtlehuckingfuge]

I tried to wait it out, 9 weeks later nothing had happened. I ended up with a D&C anyway. Being on tenterhooks for that amount of time was not great for my wellbeing. I am sorry that you are in the position of having to make this choice.

[TokyoSushi]

I'm so sorry OP, I had a 'natural miscarriage' as it had already started, it was pretty horrific

If I were ever in such an awful position I would definitely have some sort of medical intervention to get it over as quickly as possible

[OhTheRoses]

Miscarriage is never easy but my MMC was worse than any other. I still felt pg at 11.t weeks but they said the baby had gone at probably 7.5. Had the surgical route because I wanted it done with. Was 20+ years ago. I promise it gets easier.

[myotherbagisgucci]

I'm so sorry to hear you've had a MMC. I've had two, and weren't offered a D&C, but if I had I would of definitely done it as I found letting them pass naturally horrendous!

[MissMedusa]

I've had 3 mc. With the first I had a D&C which wasn't painful and over with quickly, it was also good that I didn't have to wait for my body to get around to recognizing I had lost the baby.

With my 2nd and 3rd I waited and let my body miscarry naturally and it wasn't bad, pain was very manageable and not worse than a bout of diarrhea. With the first I was even able to go back to work the next day. The bleeding was very heavy for a few hours and then twisted off but continued for 1-2 weeks.

The reason I would recommend natural over D&C is that it turned out in a subsequent pregnancy that i have an incompetent cervix which can be caused or exacerbated when the cervix is artificially dilated as with a D&C. I may have had it anyway but I don't know and now I wouldn't want to do anything that might make it worse.

[mummyhaschangedhername]

So sorry. I went the D&C route. It was easier for me, I just wanted it over with. I fell pregnant quite quickly after with twins.

[ItsalmostSummer]

*Meant to say D&C not MmC in my post

[ItsalmostSummer]

Oh and I had no issues with my body afterwards, and got pregnant straight away (they tell you to wait but everything was fine).

[Troika]

I’ve had 3 mc.
First one happened naturally at 7 weeks. A day of contractions and very heavy bleeding with 6/7 hours of being tied to the loo passing large clots.

2nd one was a Mmc discovered at 13 weeks. Had stopped developing at 7. Opted for surgical management as my body seemed pretty keen to hang on to it. The night before the surgery I had mild contractions followed by 2 hours of really intense ones. Passed the embryo during these intense contractions. Scan the next day showed there was still a lot of pregnancy tissue inside me so I still had the erpc. Had no pain after the procedure and light bleeding for a couple of weeks

3rd another mmc discovered at 10 weeks, had stopped developing at 9. Opted for erpc again and had that the next day. Again no pain following and light bleeding for under 2 weeks.

If I have another mmc I would opt for surgical again.

[Troika]

Sorry op I meant to say how sorry I am.

[CatchingBabies]

I’m so sorry.

If you want to wait it out there is no reason not to do so, you can always opt for further procedures later if needed. It’s a very personal choice as to what you can physically and mentally cope with.

A D&C (surgical management) is quicker and somewhat easier but it also increases the risk of cervical incompetence which can lead to increased risk of miscarriage and preterm delivery, more so if repeated D&Cs have been performed so it’s not an option to enter into lightly if it’s not what you want.

[crumbsinthecutlerydrawer]

Sympathies from me op, it’s just so shit. I’ve had two mmc and opted for surgical management both times.

My own view was that both of mine had stopped developing 4weeks before my body had even registered it with any spotting so it could’ve been a long wait and I just wasn’t mentally able to deal with it, I needed to just get it over and done with so I could start processing it.

Do check if you want to go this route what the procedure on the day is, both times I was put on an emergency list so has to come in first thing and was given the tablets mid morning and was still waiting to be seen near midnight as other more important things came in. With my second I did end up passing the sac into a bed pan having waited 12 hours once it had got started.

I also had a d&c after a molar pregnancy and I have to say that experience was so much better, I think it was just because I was in a different part of the country not because it was a molar. I was given an appointment time for mid afternoon and seen at that time and was home for tea.

Good luck op, choose whatever you feel you can cope with.

[KellyMarieTunstall2]

I would advise the OP, it's painless and over quickly. Sorry for your loss

[Mama05070704]

I had a missed miscarriage with my first much wanted (IVF) baby. The baby stopped developing at 6+1 and I was advised to wait for it to pass naturally so as to give myself the best chance to conceive with future treatment.

It took over almost 5 weeks until I eventually miscarried. That month was torture and in hindsight, I would’ve opted for a D&C. I wasn’t prepared for it and expected it to be like a heavy period, which it wasn’t.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Consider all your options and do what’s best for you.