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To feel I can’t rely on my partner for c section

(14 Posts)
RLOU88 Sat 26-May-18 21:32:11

I’ve had a slightly shit time in late pregnancy (low placenta- bleeding and SPD) and I can’t help but be disappointed in how my partner has acted throughout pregnancy. He has always been a bit of selfish man when it comes to certain things. He doesn’t do any cleaning, washing or cooking and it’s partly my fault as I completely pamper him.
I’ve been put on bed rest by the doctor after a big bleed and I can honestly say he hasn’t lifted a finger, except to make some food most of which is done with stomping, crashing about and foul mood. I end up just doing it myself and together with all the cleaning and washing I am now at the point where I’m bleeding again while he is sitting here being vocal over the footy.
I didn’t know how unsupportive my partner would be and I just feel so sad and alone with it all. I am due to have a c section soon and would honestly rather my mum in the room with me for support as I can’t even imagine him being able to be a supportive birthing partner. Am I being unfair to do this?

Aprilmightbemynewname Sat 26-May-18 21:37:06

He is risking your baby's life!! What an arse!!

SecretStash Sat 26-May-18 21:41:52

Yes, have your mum. And afterwards, kick the selfish little man-child out.

FrizzyNoodles Sat 26-May-18 21:43:49

Does your mum have room for you to stay with her? And definitely have her in the room its your choice who you have you need to feel supported.

itchyknees Sat 26-May-18 21:45:05

Does he know you’re bleeding because of him?

Scarydinosaurs Sat 26-May-18 21:47:34

Ffs get to bed! You’re risking your health and your baby’s life!

RLOU88 Sat 26-May-18 21:48:07

Didn’t want to post and run but I’m now on the way to hospital so I will answer when I can. Thank you everyone.

CaMePlaitPas Sat 26-May-18 22:02:16

You poor woman... I would ask your Mum for help, you need someone on your side when you're going through this. I would even pack my bags and leave him to it.

Poptart4 Sat 26-May-18 22:37:48

I can't believe what a selfish bastard he's being. Giving birth is a vulnerable time for any woman. If you feel more supported with your mum then absolutely have her with you.

Hope everything is OK at the hospital x

AndCallMeNancy Sat 26-May-18 22:45:18

Quite unbelievable behaviour from your so-called partner OP. I can’t imagine that he is going to get anything but worse when the baby arrives. He doesn’t sound like he wants to become a father at all. Or be a decent human being. And trust me, you will not want to ‘pamper’ this selfish wank stain once you have your lovely baby. I think you need to get rid I’m afraid. None of this is what you imagined I’m sure so I am so sorry.

Glad to hear you are at the hospital. Bleeding at this stage can be so dangerous. Get checked out and then follow the doctors advice for goodness sake.

Good luck with it all 💐

AndCallMeNancy Sat 26-May-18 22:48:01

Also, best advice I had re my section was basically to do very little for two weeks afterwards. Not as extreme as full-on bed rest as you do need to move about a bit but serious r&r. So I think you’ll need your mum to come and stay as well as to be with you for the birth.

Thissameearth Sat 26-May-18 22:49:24

Cleaning and washing is not worth risking your baby’s (or your) health for. Leave it. Get help from wherever you can to ensure this as your priority. Nothing else, particularly perceived fairness to a terrible partner and future father, matters.

HyacinthsBucket70 Sat 26-May-18 22:55:55

Any man who thinks you should risk your own health and that of your unborn baby to look after him is utterly worthless.

I've always thought that in cases of hard times, people show their true colours. He's shown you his. Only you can decide if you and your baby are worth such little respect, support and love.

BitOfAKerfuffle Sat 26-May-18 23:05:36

I would get rid !
Have your mum at the c section if you think she will be more supportive. Also you will need a lot of help after a c section so you can rest and bond with your baby and it doesn't seem like he will be able to provide that support so may be get your mum to stay at your house after or go home to her house you and new baby.
Hope everything is ok at the hospital. Is there any chance of being admitted for bed rest. I had bleeding throughout pregnancy and threatened pre term labour with high risk factors and I was admitted. It was far from ideal being stuck in hospital and I desperately missed my other child but it was the safest option for baby and me because despite having a supportive partner bed rest with another child to look after at home would have been very hard whereas I just had to in hospital because there was no choice

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