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Is it normal to not like other people's kids?

(74 Posts)
Dollydaydream97 Tue 22-May-18 22:46:23

I understand how horrible that sounds I really do and call me a bitch I don't care! Maybe it's my hormones and being heavily pregnant by I just can't stand other people's kids at all apart from family and even then it's at a push ! I hope this don't mean I'm going to be a terrible mum! Like I wouldn't be horrible to a child or anything but I won't go out of my way to be around them if that makes sence but I do love children also🤷🏻‍♀️For example my partner wants me to go to the beach on Monday with him and his friends by because all their kids are going I've said no thankyou ? Will this pass?

surreygirl1987 Tue 22-May-18 22:51:07

Haha I'm like that. I really don't like small children. I have been assured that it's different when it's your own! smile

AlfredDaButtler Tue 22-May-18 22:54:48

It’s oerfectly normal to only like your own children smile

I tend to find other kids much more tolerable if I like their parents.

puppymouse Tue 22-May-18 22:55:50

I have a DD and feel the same as you. You kind of have to swallow it at times or you'll isolate them. I force myself to arrange play dates- usuallly with kids I know are sweet enough/well raised or I know the mum fairly well.

But it's hard because suddenly you're faced with lots of kids because you have to do kids stuff. Took DD to a park today and she was on the swings and another child came and stood waiting by the other swing. I didn't know if lifting her in was the done thing, where her parent(s) were and didn't really want to as I wouldn't expect someone to have to fuss around with my DD but then felt maybe I was being unkind.

It's a minefield if you're not naturally relaxed in a full on family set up. But you get more used to it!

DaisysStew Tue 22-May-18 22:58:00

I feel really awkward around other people’s kids to be fair. Every so often they’ll be a really funny one that I like but in general I wish they’d leave me alone.

Love my own DS dearly and I can’t get enough of him. It’s different with your own.

8pinksnails Tue 22-May-18 22:59:24

Very normal, in fact I've found other people's kids even more annoying since I had my little girl.

WatchoutDSisdriving Tue 22-May-18 22:59:47

It is very different with your own, I am not a fan of other people’s children. Don’t worry, it’s not a predictor of what sort of mum you will be smile

BaronessBomburst Tue 22-May-18 22:59:51

Yes.
Totally normal. grin

ThrownMuse Tue 22-May-18 23:01:29

I like the odd one or two but on the whole, no thank you.

And my own kid treads a fine line sometimes!

Murane Tue 22-May-18 23:05:25

Nowadays most people fail to discipline their kids and they become little shits. It took me a while to realise that I don't hate kids, I just hate badly behaved kids with lazy parents. Which unfortunately seems to be the majority.

Murane Tue 22-May-18 23:09:44

Oh, and horrible sticky snotty children too. FFS buy some wipes and keep your child clean!

midmidlifecrisis Tue 22-May-18 23:09:58

I am the same but it is different when they are your own.

My DC's friends can grate on me tbh but I like their parents so smile

MissDollyMix Tue 22-May-18 23:10:26

I hear what you’re saying. I’m really not keen on other people’s children. They’re just hard work and I always have a big fake grin plastered on my face. It’s wearing. My own children just get to see me as I am. They’re part of me. So no, how I feel about other children doesn’t extend to them. I’ve also got a soft spot for their closest friends too. They are quite sweet and they make my children happy (mostly) and they keep my children out of my hair for an afternoon I always feel guilty that I never volunteer as a parent helper for school events but the very thought sends shivers down my spine!

greendale17 Tue 22-May-18 23:13:35

Only on Mumsnet is it normal.

Meanwhile in the real world..........

Dollydaydream97 Tue 22-May-18 23:21:18

So glad I'm not the only one ! If I'm honest I've always been this way and yes I completely agree @murane people don't discipline their children and that's where it all goes so wrong ! My sister for instance her oldest ( 7) is the most awfull child I have met in my life I refuse to take him anywhere with me but her youngest (2) although he is spirited he is a lovely little boy who I have all the time in the world for and it's because she spoilt the first one and doesn't tell him off for anything! Punching the 2 year old, pushing him , chocking him ..it goes on! My dislike for children definitely stems from him 😂

okdok Tue 22-May-18 23:23:47

I think that people who like children make better parents and enjoy parenthood more.

Longdistance Tue 22-May-18 23:28:17

Me! I like keeping other people’s kids at arms length. Completely normal. Well, it is to me, my mum was like this as loads of kids used to gather at our house. It’s when they started asking for food my mum would lose it, and send them straight home.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth Tue 22-May-18 23:55:42

Murane - very true.

I'm not sure if it's lazy parenting or just inconsiderate parenting though.

For me it's very obvious - smell in room then change nappy. It's done for everyone else in the room not just the baby.

Children shouldn't be screaming and running riot whilst you're trying to relax/be romantic/enjoy a celebratory dinner in restaurant. It should be obvious.

And people wonder why children aren't wanted at weddings?

memaymamo Wed 23-May-18 00:09:36

*Only on Mumsnet is it normal.

Meanwhile in the real world..........*

What? Last time I checked, I lived in the real world. I like some children and not others, I think that's abundantly normal.

I often find that we judge our own children by their motives, and other children by their actions. So, when your own children are bratty or mean, you forgive them more easily because you know they're hungry or tired or are cutting teeth or are going through a rough patch at preschool etc etc. But when other kids are annoying, all you see is their irritating behaviour, unless you're a particularly understanding and kind person.

FrauNeuer Wed 23-May-18 00:33:45

I really can’t stand other people’s kids 90% of the time, so you’re definitely not alone.

This is actually something that I’ve considered, now I’m pregnant but I’m already completely besotted by the feeling of this little one kicking me so I think the bitterness must disappear! grin

Candyflip Wed 23-May-18 00:39:00

I don’t know, I think that people who don’t like other children are typically the ones that are so wrapped up in their own children they become either a bit of a bore, or think their own can do no wrong. I often think not liking other kids is shorthand for saying they think their own kids are perfect. So yes, it probably isn’t normal. I think like a pp said, if you like the parents you usually like their kids.

Skittlesandbeer Wed 23-May-18 00:45:15

Sadly, you are about to enter a new world. It’s primarily populated by Other People’s Children. All day, every day. Your days of just saying ‘no thanks, I prefer not to go’ are over.

You’ll just have to fake it. Don’t worry, you’ll be too shattered to really care in the early years. Then you’ll start to like a few of them, because they’ll play with your kid, giving you a chance to briefly eat/pee/cry.

You’ll be fine.

Skittlesandbeer Wed 23-May-18 00:48:52

memaymamo

I often find that we judge our own children by their motives, and other children by their actions. So, when your own children are bratty or mean, you forgive them more easily because you know they're hungry or tired or are cutting teeth or are going through a rough patch at preschool etc etc. But when other kids are annoying, all you see is their irritating behaviour, unless you're a particularly understanding and kind person.

That’s brilliant. I’m using that. I’ll add that the further you get from your child-rearing years, the vaguer you become on those legitimate motivations or justifications. You just blithely go on what you see in front of you, straight to annoyance. Just ask my mother, who you’d swear never raised 3 DC of her own.

BlueBug45 Wed 23-May-18 05:29:56

I don't mind most kids and actually like a lot of them UNLESS they are with their parents. Then they more often turn into brats. Only a minority of kids are brats regardless.

Mousefunky Wed 23-May-18 05:38:26

I’m the same with most other kids except my own, they just irritate me. I have met some lovely children that are friends with my DC but I guess that’s because my DC have good taste in people wink. Most other kids get on my nerves. I purposely taught to teach adults to avoid kids.

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