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9 weeks Pregnant and fearing miscarriage

(11 Posts)
Difficulttimes17 Tue 22-May-18 06:57:48

Hi im 9 weeks pregnant after 2 natural miscsrriages and also 1 missed miscarriage. The fear i have about losing the baby has been really intense for the lst day or so and is bringing me to tears. Im starting to worry about everything im dping if i eat the wrong thing or walk around tpo much or too little will that trigger a miscarriage the pressure is so intense. Also i was told at my 12 week scan i had a missed miscarriage and that it stopped developing at 8 weeks. I still have sore boobs and feel tired out and at times a little nausea and light headed but im just worrying myself about everything you know 'are my symptoms as strong as last week ? ' i havent had any tummy twinges for the last 4 days i dont know how long the moving around inside goes on if its normal to stop for a while at about 9 weeks. I had a scan at 7 weeks 5 days as we were under the fertility clinic due to previous miscarriages. They said they would discharge me after the scan because the heart beat and size of baby were fine. My midwife is getting me another scan ( due to my history) in about another week so i will be 10 weeks at that. Everyone doctors midwife etc all seem confident all is looking good this time but i have this horrible fear that i cant shake off. Can anyone give me any advice how to deal with it ? Xx

MouseLove Tue 22-May-18 07:14:16

Take one day at a time. 6 hour blocks if it helps. And try to remember that you've had no reason to worry or suspect the worse. This is a different pregnancy. Different time.

I had a mmc last February. After 19 cycles we are pregnant again and today I have my 12 weeks scan. I'm absolutely crapping it. BUT I have to remember to enjoy this pregnancy.

You will never be pregnant with this baby again. Try to enjoy each day as it comes. Don't worry about tomorrow or a what if. Just take it slowly. Focus in today. You are pregnant today. Everything is ok today.

Sending lots of hugs. Xxx

Feb2018mumma Tue 22-May-18 07:24:13

I'm so sorry to hear about your previous miscarriages. I had quite alot of scans because I worried something waswrong, I told my husband that stress was bad for the baby so I would rather have lots of scans and know he was okay, it isn't a waste of money to go for a private scan if it gives you a week of peace? Once you are say 16weeks and baby is kicking you will feel calmer but for now just get a private scan? I must have spent so much money (mostly my savings) but I think it helped me have a happier pregnancy. I had a car accident early on and it literally meant I was scared all the time! Take your vitamins and eat well, if you control what you can control it might help too? On the days I could eat I made sure I got all the different vitamins and things I was meant to and it calmed me knowing he was getting everything he was meant to?

Mousefunky Tue 22-May-18 07:50:13

I had two MMC last year at 11 and 12 weeks and sadly even now I’m 16 weeks and know everything is ok, I have days filled with anxiety. I feel movements every day a and have a Doppler but I still panic if I don’t feel movements for a while. It’s really tough to be rational after losses.

The important thing to try and remember is that 3 in 4 pregnancies will be fine. If you focus on the positives instead of negatives it can help. I don’t think the worry will ever end but it’s best to try and keep as focused as possible on other things. Hope all goes well for you OP flowers.

spookytime Tue 22-May-18 07:53:01

Agree with the above pp. Do what you have to do to try and keep calm.

I was in a v similar position and then regretted not enjoying my pregnancy. I know it’s hard.

Difficulttimes17 Tue 22-May-18 08:23:17

Thanks everyone your support means a lot. I was so elated after the scan we have never seen a heart beat before and told myself to be happy this time to allow myself to trust everything was okay but last few days has started to build up the fear again in me the missed miscarriage was so tragic i dont know if it happens again if i would be able to even cope getting pregnant again. We are so happy about the baby after the miscarriages. I will take your advice about the extra scans and book myself in your right. Whatever i need to do to help. I have looked at a doppler as well but worried too early to get one now and it may add to my anxiety if thats the case. Sending loads of love back to you all and good luck MouseLove for your scan today sending so much love for it xxx

LJFM2B Tue 22-May-18 13:53:24

@Difficulttimes17 I am the same as you 2 natural and 1 MMC, im currently 7+3 .. been taking 70mg aspirin since last cycle, we had a scan last week 6+4 and heard the heart beat and saw out little flickering jelly bean - was the first time for us to be shown our baby with good news too! the feeling was overwhelming, i cried before i even laid down with nerves and the cried heavily when we saw the baby with pure elation and relief. Its amazing isnt it.

I feel very positive and good about everything, but a week later and find myself wanting some more reassurance. I think this time is worrying enough and with history like ours its just so much more of a worry.

My next scan is in 2 weeks when ill be 9+4 and i am ITCHING for the days to fly until then.

All i can say is get scanned as much as you need with hope your EPU is understanding... and my MW said after 12 weeks i can call her if im apprehensive and if she is available i can listen to the heartbeat - she did say getting your own can cause stress/obsession.

I know how your feeling after the MMC i was the exact same 12week scan and baby passed at 8 weeks - i dont feel like i can rely on my symptoms now!! its a lose lost situation with big hopes its a big win at the end.

I truly wish you the best of luck & that all is well with you and baby!

Once im all settled at 16 weeks and feeling confident then i will create a rainbow baby group for all mums due after MC xxx

Difficulttimes17 Tue 22-May-18 22:15:08

Hi @LJFM2B our stories sound so similar, its so sad thay either of us have to go through this. Everything you have said is how im feeling, also feel like a freak im surround by friends and colleagues that just seem to get breathed on and they have a healthy pregnancy. I just feel so sorry for myself at the worst times around why i have to carry this burden with me. I have been better this evening ive been able to think about other things and stop worrying so much even for a short while. I feel so bad about myself when i have miscarried the thought of getting that low and the effort to pull myself out of that dark well feels too much to bare. I decided to book a private scan so have it booked for this sunday cross fingers all is okay. Let me know when you set up te group it would be wonderful to stay in touch through this heart ache. Massive hugs to you and your bean Xxxx

MouseLove Tue 22-May-18 23:21:50

Don't get a Doppler sweetie. It's far too early and I don't think it helps calming nerves.

Our scan went very well. Overjoyed. Good news CAN happen after heartbreak, just believe it. Wishing you all the calming thoughts and warm hugs. Xxx

LJFM2B Wed 23-May-18 08:21:36

@Difficulttimes17 Glad you have a scan booked, i really hope you can enjoy this one and let it put your mind at ease.

Just know your not abnormal for feeling the way you do, and feeling like everyone around you falls pregnant and has a baby so with no bumps along the road and feeling like they take it for granted - thats normal too. Iv come to accept everybody has a different jouney to get to where they want to be and that mines just been a very hard tough road and hopefully were at the end now. I actually laugh or shake my head at some things on the Tele now how unrealistic things are made with pregnancy.

I went to MC association meeting the month before i fell pregnant this time around and found just talking to people who understood actually helped, obviously this for you now isnt something you will want to do but i think talking to people in the same position is helpful because as much as family and friends want you to be ok they will never be able to truly relate to your feelings (unless of course they have been through the same)

Update the thread after sundays scan! good luck

Difficulttimes17 Sun 27-May-18 17:36:38

Thanks so much for all the words of support i was going through a low and feeling worried about everything and anything. Ive had a scan at a private clinic today and everything is going well.. smile so so happy.. after my missed miscarriage i have anxiety over scans but im really feelig so overwhelming happy and feel okay like everything will be okay.. i just hate it when that feeling of dread strikes it ruins all the joy of pregnancy but im feeling much much stronger after today and feel like i can beat it and try and enjoy my pregnancy.. im pregnant.. feel like i can finally say it and believe it after all the sadness of 3 miscarriages .. thanks everyone for being there smile

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