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Telling Close Family

(24 Posts)
Wowthisisreal Sun 20-May-18 11:09:06

Hi MNers!

So I very recently found out that DH and I are expecting. When would you tell close family? I mainly want to tell my Mum and Dad as I know they would be so happy for us - DM hasn't shut up about it since we got married!

I want to tell them ASAP and feel like I'm deceiving them if I don't tell them but also want to keep it to DH and I for a little longer. He isn't so keen on telling people.

I should add that I don't necessarily agree with waiting 12 weeks. I think if the worst did happen then I'd need their support.

Father's Day is around 8 weeks and so is another family event. I'm 4 weeks at the moment - it just seems so long to wait!! If I told my mum I'd also need to tell my sister (she still lives at home) and then I'd need to tell my brother too so he wasn't left out. And I want to tell them all.

But then I would feel like we needed to tell my FIL who I don't think would necessarily be bothered about knowing before 12 weeks... ahhh!

When did you tell your mum / parents / close friends?

Mrsbarton Sun 20-May-18 11:10:53

We told our parents and siblings as soon as we found out! X

Emma198 Sun 20-May-18 11:11:52

I told my mum about 10 minutes after I found out. Told my dad the next day. They're together but I rang my mum in excitement but knew I was seeing my dad the next day and wanted to tell him face to face. My husband isn't as close to his family we told them a couple of weeks later. My 12 week scan is actually when I'm 13 weeks, definitely couldn't have waited until then.

Hayleyxmx Sun 20-May-18 12:30:28

I called my mum while I was still the bathroom at 4 weeks, tell them 😍

Thetimehascometo Sun 20-May-18 12:34:49

We told our parents a few days after finding out. We then told siblings etc after the 12 weeks scan, but we don’t see them as often

m4rdybum Sun 20-May-18 12:42:06

We've decided to wait until my booking appointment at 8 weeks. It's nice as we have a couple of weeks where we can keep it to ourselves.

We also wanted to tell people as we'd want them to know if we went through a MC.

I think the age old superstition of not telling people till you're twelve weeks is dying out. At the end of the day, just because you're twelve weeks doesn't make anything for certain so we are trying to enjoy it and worry less now (although I do have flashes of panic still).

mamansnet Sun 20-May-18 12:46:09

DH and I were visiting my family (they're in a different country) for the weekend and we'd arranged to go for lunch the day before we left. The waiter came and asked what we'd like to drink so I ordered champagne all round, but none for me thanks, I'm pregnant.

Never seen my DM speechless before.

mamansnet Sun 20-May-18 12:47:02

Oh and I was 8 weeks. Early perhaps, but we wanted to do it while everyone was together rather than over the phone.

Wowthisisreal Sun 20-May-18 12:49:59

@mamansnet OMG that's amazing!!! 😂😂

Ahhhhh you are all just making me want to tell them now! DH is not keen. My brother is home this weekend but then not coming back for aaaages. But Hubby is at work and if definitely want him to be there... 😭

NoNoCharlieRascal Sun 20-May-18 12:53:48

@Wowthisisreal we must be due the same time as I'm also 4 weeks. It's dc2 for us.

I told my family yesterday, my mum knew from about 10dpo as I get horrendous sickness and was on the phone to her when I chucked.blushgrin

I've always been in the theory that you should tell those who will be supportive as soon as you want. The first 12 weeks are hard with worry, fatigue and sickness. Plus it's exciting news and it's great to talk about it!

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

MouseLove Sun 20-May-18 12:59:06


We were pregnant very early last year and unfortunately had a mmc at 10 weeks with our first baby - it was devastating. We had told all of our family after an early scare, health issues and scan at 7+5 weeks and also I had to tell work. Honestly the support from my family we're amazing but it made it awkward with in-laws and thus we decided not to tell anyone until after our 12 weeks scan this time.

We are pregnant again after a very difficult journey with infertility and health issues and I am so thankful that we are having our 12 weeks scan on Tuesday. I am 12+1 today. We can't wait to share the news with our love ones, and we told my parents and sister and her husband (they live at my parents) at 5 weeks as we went to Las Vegas for my sisters wedding during my 6th week of pregnancy and we needed some moral support.

For us we have almost come close a few times to telling close friends a few times but we ultimately decided that they will enjoy the knowledge for the next 6 months and we wanted to enjoy this time just the two of us and obviously make sure baby was ok too.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do!!

MyLittleBeee Sun 20-May-18 14:58:58

This is me!

I'm 5+2 and so e cited about telling my parents, they think we gage up trying years ago as I'd been TTC for almost 20 years we decided to keep it secret as the disappointment was enough to bare on our own let alone have anyone ask us about it.

I'm going to wait to as close to 12 weeks as I can announce it to them as it will be both mine & my dads birthday around that time so can't wait to make it extra special and completely floor them!! It makes me emotional just thinking about they reaction ❤️

RedRobin7 Sun 20-May-18 15:07:39

When I fell pregnant in January with my first baby I was so excited we told both sets of parents, all siblings and a couple of best friends on the same day we found out. You're excited so if you want to tell people straight away then there's no reason to hold off.

Sadly mind ended with a MMC at 12 weeks but it was easier for my husband to phone the family to say it was bad news rather than start with well we were pregnant but not any more...

There's no right or wrong! The baby I lost won't be a secret so I don't feel bad or embarrassed that I told people before the 12 week mark. The only reason I may wait a bit longer in future is only so that my parents don't worry with me until the pregnancy is confirmed as safe. It's unnecessary worry for them as there's nothing anyone can do!

Patienceofatoddler Sun 20-May-18 15:10:50

We are only 5 weeks.

I've told my mum but that's it - Il wait until after 12 week scan to tell anyone else (other close family).

If we had another miscarriage I would likely need the support of my mum but personally would find it easier if the whole family didn't know.

They will have plenty of time to be excited for us from when we do say - It's been a emotional journey and we are enjoying our secret at the moment.

gryffen Sun 20-May-18 15:14:49

Told them just after 12 weeks (high risk due to stomach surgery last april) and I ended up telling mum n dad and aunt who they were visiting in Berwick. My uncle died next day so bit of a downer but now 28 weeks and just getting on with it.

surreygirl1987 Sun 20-May-18 16:05:09

I didn't tell my parents til 16 weeks lol! Wanted to tell them in person, saw them at 6-7 weeks before I was ready to tell anyone, and then didn't see them again til 16 weeks! They had no idea! But aeriously everyone dies it differently and there's no right time - do what works for you smile

Stephisaur Sun 20-May-18 18:34:46

I’m 9 weeks and we are currently planning on telling people after our scan on June 1st.

We don’t want to tell my parents without telling DH’s, but we work with mine and we may have some slight issues regarding time off for the scan so we MIGHT have to tell them next weekend.

It’s tough because we want everyone to know but we’ve gotten used to it being our little secret 😂

sexnotgender Sun 20-May-18 19:26:23

Not telling anyone until about 12 weeks.

Told MIL last time and it ended in miscarriage and I really wish no one had known as kind hearted the sympathy was it made everything so much worse.

FASH84 Sun 20-May-18 19:37:51

I'm ten weeks we've told no one, I'm higher risk of miscarriage but as I'm generally healthy NHS won't do a scan, it's booked for June 7th (I'll be 13 weeks) because they are 'swamped at the moment'. We'd planned to tell PIL next weekend as we're staying with them for a prearranged local music and beer festival and they will suspect when I'm not drinking or want to go to bed because I'm usually a night owl but shattered at the moment. But I'm worried to tell them before a scan, so we've booked a private one next week, as long as all is good we'll tell them, my parents and DB and SIL, I won't be making any announcements until I'm showing and I have to as I just started a secondment at work and they might not be best pleased... My mum also just announced SILs second pregnancy on FB before they did so she's got form and I don't want to deal with that yet!

Havetothink Sun 20-May-18 23:12:51

Told close family at 6 weeks this time, with them being aware we hadn't had a scan yet. My scan was scheduled late at 13wks 4 days (turned out to be 14wks) and as I'd showed from 11wks with my first so I knew there was no hope of hiding it that long with my second and figured I may as well enjoy it come what may. Held out on telling work officially until I'd had the scan but by then it was obvious to everyone.

Peanut91 Mon 21-May-18 07:35:57

Found out on the friday and told my family on the sunday. It was my sisters wedding the following week and I was feeling so terrible so wanted to let them know why in case I felt rough on the wedding day.

We then had an early scan at 8 weeks and told OHs family and a few close friends after that

Wowthisisreal Mon 21-May-18 23:27:00

Week so we cracked and told my close family.

Went round to my parents and DH asked me to get something from my bag. I made a show of trying to find it (my mum is always saying I have too much in my bag!!) - pulled out first a bottle of champagne and handed it to my sister saying "oh can you just hold this for a minute?", then pulled out one positive test and handed it to my mum, and then another one and handed it to my dad. Mum just held it looking confused, then my sister realised and then Mum started crying 😂 dad was just looking at his saying "you're not pregnant".

We then face timed my brother but once he saw DH and I on the camera and in my parents house he guessed!

We are both so pleased we told them!

mamansnet Mon 21-May-18 23:34:37

Brilliantly done, OP!!! That's one they'll love telling their friends.

How will you tell your FIL? Father's Day?

thanks for a happy healthy pregnancy!

Wowthisisreal Sun 27-May-18 12:23:26

@mamansnet yes - we are thinking Father's Day! Planning on maybe getting an early scan and taping it to a beer bottle (he loves beer) and then we've seen where you can get ones with custom wording on too! So we might do that as a gift and surprise him that way 😊

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