I'm expecting DC 2 in July and have a school age DC1. I have DH but all family is around 100 miles away, and some of them I wouldn't want near me at the birth.
I looked at the costs of a doula to offer a 2nd body if DH has to stay with DC1 (our closest friends locally have had long term fertility issues so we're v. wary of asking them to look after DC1, a neighbour has offered to have them until family can collect but have their own kids so we have to consider they may be unable to help (if one gets chicken pox, hand foot and mouth etc.) other neighbours don't have young kids). The Access fund for doulas has been closed and won't re-open until the summer which is too late for us. A mentored doula starts at £600, which we could just afford; a fully trained one £800 - £2000 which we definitely couldn't. The NCT doulas offered reduced rates, but only for Feb - April births.
I work FT and we can't pay the mortgage on DH's PT salary; whilst we do have some money saved it's not loads and we need something to pay the mortgage whilst I'm on maternity leave and my pay keeps dropping. It looks like I can either pay for a doula, and go back to work at 4 - 5 months, or I'd have to manage on my own. Having seen the mess that was DC1's birth, extensive hospital stay, staff ignoring my wishes, dirty, understaffed wards etc. I can't manage that on my own.
I'm being told I'm too high risk to have a home birth (health issues with DC1 pregnancy, over 40 now) but I'm at a loss as to what other options I have. I still want to swap from the hospital where DC1 was born and, despite NHS guidance saying I can change my location when I chose, the community midwife is being really arsey about it so I'd love to see her face if I tell her I've decided to birth at home.
Any ideas where I can get support from for this?
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Ideas for pregnancy support if you can't afford a doula
8 replies
SeeKnievelHitThe17thBus · 23/04/2018 09:24
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