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20 week scan tomorrow and scared

(22 Posts)
Bitsandbobsalot Tue 13-Mar-18 13:48:50

I’ve got my 20 week scan tomorrow morning and all of a sudden I’m scared stiff again I could cry. I’m pathetic most mums look forward to seeing there little baby but ever since I had a scan where there was no heartbeat. I genuinely feel sick and overly emotional about them. I hate hospitals too.
I really thought I was getting better at coping with them after I had a private sex scan at 16 weeks even if I did cry but today I’m so frightened again even tho I can feel my little boy kicking about quite happily. I’ve waited 6 years for this baby and up to now pregnancy has been easy but after 6 mc’s and failed fertility treatments it all seems to good to be true.
I’m to scared to even read what they are checking for in case it freaks me out more.
Anyone else ever get like this ? Or am I as nutty as I think I am ?

Winterfellismyhome Tue 13-Mar-18 13:52:24

I was terrified for my 20 week scan and this is my first pregnancy. Think its natural after what you've been through previously. Sorry for your losses and good luck tomorrow thanks

Samsing Tue 13-Mar-18 13:59:25

I am so sorry about your mcs.

I can understand where you are coming from. My first pregnancy I sailed through and loved all the scans and I had so many as I had gestational diabetes.
My second pregnancy was a mmc and ever since I am scared each time I have a scan.
This is my third pregnancy and I have dreaded every scan since the mc. Only last week when I had a growth scan I was telling the sonographer how much I hate having these scans as I am so scared of what can be found!
I have a scan every two weeks and seriously I am the same as you, scared as hell.
Chances are all will be well and your boy is growing nicely smile

Bitsandbobsalot Tue 13-Mar-18 14:08:36

Thank you. I think I just need a handhold. When I mention it to people in real life they seem to look at me like I’m crazy and say “it will be fine”.

It’s a early appointment though so at least I won’t be sat dreading it all day

SaltK Tue 13-Mar-18 18:35:58

People on real life who are surprised have probably never had a bad scan experience. I've had 5 miscarriages, all missed, and during this current pregnancy (nearly 30weeks now!) I've been terrified at every scan. I don't know how you could feel any other way - it's completely understandable and normal that you feel the way you do! It's a shame for you that you don't get to experience the naïve excitement of the scans, but just hold onto your knickers and once you're in there you'll soon know how it's going - and I'm sure it'll be absolutely fine xx

DirtyThirties Tue 13-Mar-18 19:03:42

I completely understand and don't see how anyone could feel any other way! It's my first pregnancy and I had my anomaly scan about 2 weeks ago, spent the final few days before it in a state of panic, didn't sleep at all as it was a morning appointment, and guess what: all fine! It was actually a really enjoyable experience as I felt like they were really thorough with their checks and I've relaxed a lot since then. Of course, some people get bad news and that must be awful, but remember you are far more likely to be told everything is fine so try not to focus on the what ifs (easier said than done I know). All the best and let us know how you get on tomorrow grin

sugarycerealfan Tue 13-Mar-18 19:36:54

Perfectly normal OP! smile
I worried for both my 12 and 20 weeks scans. I had to have another at 32 weeks to check the placenta and I was even more nervous for that than the others!

user1485778793 Tue 13-Mar-18 20:24:16

Totally understandable. We had bad news at 20 week scan with our first and lost him after birth. I'm now 22 weeks and gone into every scan in tears. But after getting the all clear 2 weeks ago I feel a lot better.

I really hope it's good news for you tomorrow x

Bitsandbobsalot Tue 13-Mar-18 20:42:08

Thank you all it definitely makes me feel better that it’s not just me that gets worked up. I keep telling myself that everything has been perfect up to now and I’ve no reason to worry. My dh is fantastic too he’s really reassuring.
I get that people are trying to be kind when I talk about how scared I get in real life and I wouldn’t wish a bad scan experience on anyone so I don’t really blame them for not understanding or knowing what the right thing to actually say is.

I’ll definitely update after my scan tomorrow keep your fingers crossed for me and thank you all again

user1485778793 Tue 13-Mar-18 21:16:07

Good luck smile

Smilingthru Wed 14-Mar-18 08:06:06

I think that’s totally normal. This is DC2 and I still worry! We had ours yesterday and the sonograph was amazing. First thing she did was show us the heart beat and then she talked us through all the of scan; what she was looking for, what she could see, how it was normal etc.

I think it’s normal to feel the way you do so don’t beat yourself up.

I hope it all goes well for you. X

Samsing Wed 14-Mar-18 08:06:58

Good luck smile

CalliopeCass Wed 14-Mar-18 08:10:19

You are absolutely not pathetic! I haven't even had a scan yet and I am anxious, worried, stressed out, nervous about EVERY little twinge. I presume I will be the same way throughout. You know why you are so anxious? It's because you care a whole heap. It's a sign that you will probably be a lovely mum and your little one will be loved dearly. I don't think your worry will ease much at this point and you may just have to ride it out, but take comfort in knowing that many many people feel the same way thanks

Bitsandbobsalot Wed 14-Mar-18 11:28:18

Thank you all for the support flowers it means a lot

Update.... I did really well and kept my calm. My student midwife came too which definitely helped. I explained to Sonographer that I was anxious and she was really kind about it talked me though everything as she was doing it and letting me know that he was ok. It was a bit difficult trying to get all the heart pics as he was so so active but she stuck with it and got them in the end. I have to have 3 extra growth scans as a precaution but he’s looking absolutely perfect. I’m over the moon.

So my top tip is to let them know your anxious and hold on to your dp really tight grin

sugarycerealfan Wed 14-Mar-18 11:48:55

Well done OP smile congrats on your healthy scan!

user1485778793 Wed 14-Mar-18 11:57:26

That's great news grin

Emelene Wed 14-Mar-18 12:02:13

So pleased for you OP! All the best going forward. smile

Samsing Wed 14-Mar-18 13:09:17

Fabulous news, thanks for updating!

DirtyThirties Wed 14-Mar-18 13:34:05

Lovely news, congrats OP grin

babyjonesie2018 Wed 14-Mar-18 17:39:56

I'm only in the very early stages of pregnancy and midwife called today to see me tomorrow for booking in. I am extremely anxious and nervous and this will be first pregnancy after MC last summer. I have voiced my concern to midwife over the phone and she said it is normal to feel how I do but obviously we just need to go with the flow. She has said she will book me in for an early scan around 8/9wks though so that's given me more reassurance Inna sense. I am really looking forward to getting the ball rolling with paperwork tomorrow morning but will be continuously anxious for the foreseeable that's for sure.

I'm glad your scan went well and I wish you well in the rest of your pregnancy. Congratulations flowers

Lavenderdays Wed 14-Mar-18 18:07:05

I could have written your posts BitsandBobs. No heartbeat was discovered at my 20 week scan during my last pregnancy (I am currently 38 weeks). I have had loads and loads of scans this pregnancy and have one tomorrow and its not got any easier because I am all too aware of the realities. I even have a pair of sunglasses in my bag so that my eyes are covered when I have to leave the hospital with bad news! I have explained to each sonographer the extent of my anxiety with varying empathy and when I first started having scans, I couldn't bring myself to look at the monitor but would bluntly ask "is there a heartbeat?" and then become emotional when I did look at the monitor for the first time so you are definitely not alone in your anxiety. I build myself up for each scan and then feel drained after it is over (and so far, hugely relived). Wishing you all the best, you have not travelled an easy path to get to this point...and like me you think that it is too good to be true to have got this far! I don't think I will be at peace until baby is planted in my arms x

Lavenderdays Wed 14-Mar-18 18:08:04

Should have said, sorry, I have no advice but wanted you to know that you are not alone x

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