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Need advice asap! please read!

(22 Posts)
PlNK Mon 12-Mar-18 10:55:36

I'm 16 and pregnant...I know some of you may judge but bottom line new life is something to be celebrated. A little bit of backstory...me and my boyfriend are still together 1 year and I'm about 2 months pregnant. He is supporting me a lot and his foster career is too (who he sees as a mum and she loves him). He had various problems due to his past but he is doing amazing due to circumstances at the moment that are happening for him. He is happy and so am I! A baby is a gift.

I need advice because I need to tell my birth family (I'm adopted and need to tell my birth dad because he has the right to know, birth mum is dead though) and I need to tell my adoptive parents and I'm not sure how to? I'm quite nervous about doing it and need some guidance. Also would love to hear your opinions...

Another thing is social services will open a case for the baby as my boyfriend is still in care but he is getting adopted. My parents are well off but I need them to support me or the baby will be taken away, I need to tell them by Thursday until social services come round and talk and ask questions. Not sure about this either...

Any general advice would be nice too!

PlNK Mon 12-Mar-18 12:41:15

Need advice ASAP!

WorkingBling Mon 12-Mar-18 12:45:40

didn't you have another thread with advice on it? What happened to that?

You need to be honest with your parents and tell them what you are doing and what you would like them to do to support you. Ultimately, you're about to become a parent so you will be responsible for the baby. You need to see what support you can expect and then start to think about how your'e going to make it work. Good luck.

Makingworkwork Mon 12-Mar-18 12:49:13

OP does have another thread where people are giving her advice

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/3191817-16-pregnant-advice-and-opinions

PlNK Mon 12-Mar-18 13:06:18

@WorkingBling @Makingworkwork I lost the password to that account sorry and thank you

PlNK Mon 12-Mar-18 13:17:44

@WorkingBling @Makingworkwork I'm replying to comments on that though and thanks for commenting.

Kingsclerelass Mon 12-Mar-18 13:25:36

Workingbling is right, being honest is always the best way. To convince them that you are mature enough to cope with this, I'd think about how you expect life to run once LO is born. How you intend to continue with education so you will be able to provide for LO in future.

If they aren't thrilled immediately, understand that they may need a little time to get used to the idea. Stay calm and be consistent. Good luck

PlNK Mon 12-Mar-18 14:06:40

@Kingsclerelass I'm unsure what LO means but I will get a lot of support and my bf is good with children (he had a failed adoption due to unlucky situation and the lady fostering him now used to look after him and she's a child minder so that's helpful) and thanks for the advise.

Kingsclerelass Mon 12-Mar-18 14:09:57

LO=little one smile

PlNK Mon 12-Mar-18 14:19:43

@Kingsclerelass ahh thank you!

MaidenMotherCrone Mon 12-Mar-18 14:28:32

How old is your boyfriend?

PlNK Mon 12-Mar-18 14:31:42

@MaidenMotherCrone 16

tomatosalt Mon 12-Mar-18 14:40:24

You will probably end up as a single teen mother. Absolutely none of the (many) teen parents I went to school with stayed together. When making your decision to keep this pregnancy, please bear this in mind.
If you intend to be anything but low income/benefit dependent for the rest of your life you will need to have some serious grit and determination to finish your education.
If I was your parent I would feel less panicked and disappointed if you had some solid plans around how you would cope if alone, what/how you plan to study and juggle childcare.

ForeverBubblegum Mon 12-Mar-18 17:16:25

Agree about going to them with a plan in mind. Have a think about what support you need, eg child care while studying (how much/ which days), financial support (how long for, budget, what can you contribute)

As for your education, what did you plan to do before you found out you were pregnant? Is there a way you could still manage it? Even if it takes longer or is a different route.

A few things to consider. Will you have taken GCSEs before babies born? Do you want to take a year out or study around newborn baby? Distance learning or at college? Full or part time?

Once you've talked to your parents you should try to all sit down with bf and foster family to make sure everyone's on the same page and agree whose going to do what.

Best of luck, hope it gos well.

Bonge Mon 12-Mar-18 19:36:47

How's it going @PlNK? Thinking of you! xx

Daylar Mon 12-Mar-18 20:19:55

Look into what benefits you can claim. You will get child benefit once a month until lo is 18. At least as far as I know. And I don't think it depends on income. All of our benefits stopped cos my husband works a lot of hours bit that one didnt change. Check out free childcare and child tax credit too. I got pregnant at ur age too. So I don't judge you. Just be sure you are doing what's best for both you and ur baby. Whatever way you decide to tell your parents the best thing is to have solid facts and plans about what you can do and what you can get. Show you are taking this seriously. And take a little time to freak out. Trust me ull need it smile

BIUE Mon 12-Mar-18 21:07:29

@Bonge accounts keep wont let me log in but I'm okay just about to tell them

Bonge Mon 12-Mar-18 21:09:05

@BIUE 🤞 x

Daylar Tue 13-Mar-18 07:54:11

Don't forget to apply for your maternity grant. It's 500 pounds and you can only get it for your first baby. You have to be a certain number of weeks pregnant before you can apply and once baby is 3 months you can no longer apply so check it out. It bought my little ones pram. Good luck huni

ForeverBubblegum Tue 13-Mar-18 19:24:38

Hi, just checking how it went?

Hopefully by now you’ve talked to your parents and have some real life support but if you do need to ask anything or just vent theirs plenty of people hear to listen if you need us. flowers

BIUE Wed 14-Mar-18 14:38:03

@ForeverBubblegum it went well and they said they will support me! Thank you so muchthanksstar

Fionz Sat 17-Mar-18 22:53:34

Aww that's great they are supporting you 😊 I was 16 and pregnant and my dad refused to speak to me for 2 years lol. My son is now 19, my daughter is 18 and I am now 22 weeks pregnant and my parents are both over the moon 🤗
As for education etc, when my 2 reached primary school age I returned to college. The ACCESS course is for mature students returning to education and it's 1 year studying lots if different subjects followed by a university place doing whatever you want. I went on to do a joint honours degree in Scottish and English literature. If you don't want to wait that long then I highly recommend the Open University. Depending on where you live you will have your degree funded for you and don't require any entry qualifications. My friend has just had a baby and is studying to become a primary school teacher with the aim of qualifying and working in a school when her baby reaches school age.
So there are many options out there, you in no way have to be a benefits parent forever or have to have a life of struggling!! I know only too well the stigma of being a young mum. Good luck x

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