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Are you finding out or have you found out if boy or girl?

(53 Posts)
littlepooch Fri 23-Feb-18 19:52:33

This will be dc3 for us and has come as a bit of a shock though as we werent ttc but we are looking forward to it now and feel 3 will be lovely.

With my elder two DC we didn't find out and it was a lovely surprise. This time DH has amazed me by saying he would quite like to find out as he was the one before who was adamant he didn't want to know.

He's left it up to me but I can't decide what to do! Should we or shouldn't we find out. What have you all decided to do?

koffeekween Fri 23-Feb-18 20:06:51

Exactly our situation with 2 planned and 1 surprise! Didn't find out with the first 2 but did find out for the surprise DC as I was really struggling to get excited as it was such a shock. Also was nice buying gender specific things for a change rather than the mountain of cream and white we had for first 2 DCs, especially as we had got rid of everything before we were 'surprised'!

Congratulations though!!

Dvg Fri 23-Feb-18 20:07:05

Had my scan on wednesday, first child and its a boy. Got my gender reveal party tommorrow and excited! I will always find out what it is as i feel it has helped me bond more as now its not just baby but hes my son, and i have picked out a boy name that i like which may change but its been helpful only deciding from one gender.

KochabRising Fri 23-Feb-18 20:10:10

We found out both times. No preference either way but just sort of felt nice to know somehow.
No right or wrong here, go on what you want to do, I can see both sides on this one.

Katyx3 Fri 23-Feb-18 20:11:52

This is our first and due to my mental health condition I felt I needed to know to be more organised/prepared/bond
So I always thought it was a boy and my mum said I should have some sort of mother's instinct as to what it is, be able to feel it in my waters blah blah!
So went to anomaly scan on Wednesday and everything as normal and
Feel like I can crack on with preparing now smile x

Rumpledfaceskin Fri 23-Feb-18 20:14:07

I found out and will for the next one as I always had a strong feeling that she was a girl and I’ve got that again, so if I’m going to have a shock I want to know before the delivery room!

Bitsandbobsalot Fri 23-Feb-18 20:51:13

I didn’t find out with my ds 19 and was over the moon at birth finding out. With my 2 dds 16&13I found out and I was happy both times, it didn’t take away from been special or excited so this time I decided I wanted to know again. I found out this week I having a boy and It was the loveliest, happiest feeling I’ve had in years. Knowing I’m having a son has made this very longed for pregnancy very real for me.
I don’t theres a wrong choice tbh it’s lovely either way.

Bitsandbobsalot Fri 23-Feb-18 20:52:11

^ sorry typos confused I’ll blame tired baby brain

zaalitje Fri 23-Feb-18 23:38:10

Gender reveal party? Is that your baby shower?

Fia256 Sat 24-Feb-18 06:43:03

I'm pregnant with dc3 and will be finding out. We are going to a private scan and the place do a package with those black boy or girl balloons and fill it with the relevant colour confetti. So it's all done there and then! We will then go home and get the kids to pop it it while videoing them, and then send it out to family and friends! We thought it would be a nice way to include our first two dc in it all and make it a bit more exciting!

NameChangeCuddleBums Sat 24-Feb-18 06:51:00

We found out with the Harmony test at 12 weeks. 29 now and it’s been wonderful to call her ‘her’ and chat about the baby as a girl with family members.

littlepooch Sat 24-Feb-18 14:41:53

Thanks all! I think because it has come as a such a surprise he thinks it will help us bond and get more excited. Plus give us a chance to get organised in sorting out the old baby clothes etc as life is going to be chaotic with 3 of them all still very young.

I'm undecided. I would quite like to know but also I do love that moment when you find out at the end and I find the end of pregnancy very hard going so it keeps me going. I'm scared of regretting finding out if that doesn't sound weird?

I don't know anyone that regrets finding out though! ☺

TheCatsMother44 Sat 24-Feb-18 15:02:33

First baby but we haven't found out. Didn't have a preference either way and it's been quite exciting and fun wondering and guessing along the way.

AriadneThread Sat 24-Feb-18 15:14:45

I didn't find out as I really wanted a girl and couldn't deal with the "what if they got it wrong" if they told me it was a girl! I feel it probably would have been easier to bond if I'd known the sex however. I had a very late scan and seriously wavered about finding out but the sonographer said "don't put that on me at 40 weeks!" so I didn't.

My DD is now 4 months :-)

lookingforaline18 Sat 24-Feb-18 15:28:42

I found out with all 3 of mine and now I'm pregnant with number 4 and I don't know if I should find out or not! I have 3 boys and I think I'm going to wait and see this time smile

PetraRabbit Sat 24-Feb-18 15:58:21

Heres my take on it.
If you have a boy and a girl already then keep it as a surprise. You'd have everything for both genders already, and the surprise will see you through.

But if you have 2 boys or 2 girls then find out- because you stand on the cusp of a single sex family OR a mixed one (different things whatever anyone claims), people will be intrigued and constantly speculate over the gender and an awful lot of people will go on and on about you "hopefully" having the gender you haven't already got. This will become tedious very quickly. And you can get better prepared in case they're right and if you'd prefer non- neutral clothes.

LauraO1905 Sat 24-Feb-18 16:41:21

We will be.

Found out in first two pregnancies at private 16 week scans.

This time we are going to get the sonographer to keep it a secret. They do a little 'heartbeat bear' where they put a recording of the heartbeat in a blue or pink teddy and will wrap it up for you. Going to give it to the kids to open smile

littlepooch Sat 24-Feb-18 17:55:40

Good point petrarabbit. I have 2 girls and already I can anticipate people saying that we must hoping for a boy or went for number 3 to have a boy. When the reality couldn't be further from the truth - we love our girls and will be happy if it's another girl!

I also have this strange fear that they tell us and it turns out to be wrong. I wonder if that ever happens.....

littlepooch Sat 24-Feb-18 17:56:28

Should say we would be equally happy if it's a boy. We don't mind either way!

BrutusMcDogface Sat 24-Feb-18 18:00:52

We found out each time! With my second and third I saw the relevant bits on the scan before the sonographer even confirmed. This time-number 4- we will also be finding out. I'm a planner! 😁

Clevs Sat 24-Feb-18 18:18:50

We didn’t want to know as it makes it more exciting if it’s a surprise. It’s not difficult to buy neutral clothes, nursery stuff etc.

We even told the sonographer at our 20 week scan that we didn’t want to know and asked her to tell us when we needed to look away if we were likely to spot anything.

BrutusMcDogface Sat 24-Feb-18 18:52:47

Clevs- that's your opinion.

KochabRising Sat 24-Feb-18 19:56:43

I also have this strange fear that they tell us and it turns out to be wrong. I wonder if that ever happens.....

Yes it does. It’s not common but it’s not uncommon either if you’re just going on a normal ultrasound. We knew with a pretty high degree of confidence as we had NIPT both times.

People can be funny about sex - I’m expecting my second and probably last, another boy and a few people have expressed sympathy it’s not a girl! really knocked me sideways. I mean who says that?? People can be weird.

LadyMonicaBaddingham Sat 24-Feb-18 20:03:57

We didn't find out with either of ours. Not least because an ex-boss told me the story of her son and his wife who were told they were having a boy, chose a name for a boy, decorated the nursery, bought a 'this room belongs to...' sign for the door and then had a girl.

littlepooch Sat 24-Feb-18 20:26:24

I have loads of neutral things because with my eldest two we chose not to find out and I just love a plain white babygro on a newborn anyway smile

It's weird because usually I'm a planner. My idea of hell is someone texting or calling me asking if I'm free that very evening for example grin

I guess it's a surprise whenever you find out. I'm not sure we can afford a private gender scan so would have to see if they were able to tell us at the 20 week scan (though I know that's not the purpose of it but they did offer the previous two times).

I think I'd feel a bit weird if they just told me outright and like I would be expected to react in a certain way (I'm shy and a bit introverted sometimes) so perhaps I could ask for them to write it down and we could open it later in private.

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