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Scan update

(23 Posts)
pumpkinbump Wed 14-Feb-18 17:13:11

I posted on here yesterday about worries about first scan. I've had the scan, and everything seemed fine she said. She's dated me at 19 weeks and 5 days so I was a day out by my calculations. Some might remember me posting about the father wanting to know the sex and me not wanting to know. He wanted to find out regardless for himself and have me not know. Well we went today and she asked me if I wanted to know if it was apparent, I said no. He said asked if it was possible for her to just tell him and she said the mother gets the vote in this. She said maybe at the next scan he can find out if we end up agreeing and she winked at me, I said I won't.

Anyway I'm concerned now that she might have slipped up regarding the sex? She was pointing bits out and was saying things like there's his arm, there's his head bla bla bla and at one point was saying about the baby and said 'or her'. He asked again about the sex and it was at the end of the scan and she said I wouldn't be able to tell you now anyway as I'd have to go right down the other end to know. Is this normal? Do they usually refer to it as a him to avoid calling a baby an 'it'? Surely they do enough scans a day/week and have enough training not to slip up?

Mumof2cherubs Wed 14-Feb-18 17:15:28

When I had mine done they referred to baby as "junior" no reference to him or her

Pittcuecothecookbook Wed 14-Feb-18 17:16:50

Mine just said baby, instead of it or whatever

PinkAvocado Wed 14-Feb-18 17:19:07

Glad all was fine. As she said him the whole time but ‘or her’ once, I’d be thinking it’s a he. Thing is, now you’ll be wondering and assuming but unless you find out for sure!

Will you get a separate anomaly scan?

ExhaustedAndHormonal Wed 14-Feb-18 17:22:28

Mine said his all the way thro. Originally we wernt going to find out. Then changed minds so went private and it's a girl. So often refer to his xx
Glad all was OK

BoofayTheOompaLoompaSlayer Wed 14-Feb-18 17:31:58

I think a lot of sonographers tend to go with the male pronouns. I wouldn't worry too much.

pumpkinbump Wed 14-Feb-18 17:32:25

Thanks all. They said that they will refer me urgently for an anomalies scan which will probably be in about 4 weeks time.

Thanks for the opinions on her slipping up. I really hope it was a turn of phrase and that it was her just reffering to the baby as him for no reason. Would she have even looked at what sex it was at a dating scan? Don't they have to go right between the legs?

Lifeofpies Wed 14-Feb-18 17:40:21

I’m glad the sonographer wouldn’t tell him. Sounded like she handled it well. And it doesn’t matter if she referred to it as a she, you haven’t had a clear answer.
How are you doing generally? Is your partner being any more supportive?

PinkAvocado Wed 14-Feb-18 17:55:16

At ours they didn’t need to focus right in to see male or female-even to our untrained eyes we could see.

Glad she went with your wishes.

CountessOfStrathearn Wed 14-Feb-18 17:59:31

"Do they usually refer to it as a him to avoid calling a baby an 'it'?"

Yes. Traditionally mother is "her" and baby is "him" so it is easy to tell who the report is about.

Sometimes it is really obvious that it is a boy, but I'm a doctor so have some very, very basic ultrasound skills, I've had 6 babies and never been able to tell what I am expecting!

Pittcuecothecookbook Wed 14-Feb-18 20:52:45

Yes. Traditionally mother is "her" and baby is "him" so it is easy to tell who the report is about

That sounds so old fashioned, can't be true now surely?

ninecoronas Wed 14-Feb-18 22:06:49

My midwife did this, I was sure she had seen something on my scan pics or notes that told her it was a boy. Totally convinced I was having a boy after that. You guessed it...she's a girl!

Lovewinemorethanhusband Thu 15-Feb-18 07:59:03

I knew I was having a girl on last pregnancy but had a scan and sonographer kept referring to baby as a he ! Pooped my pants and was like I was told I'm having a girl can you please confirm this ! She just said she refers to all babies as he and as I already knew my baby was defo a girl then she said she through the rest of the scan

MyKingdomForBrie Thu 15-Feb-18 08:04:12

Are you joking pittcue? Old fashioned to refer to a woman as ‘her’? The baby is only ‘his’ to differentiate- as in there is x piece of her anatomy and there is x piece of his..

PinkAvocado Thu 15-Feb-18 08:44:34

I agree with pittcue, it is daft to refer to the baby as ‘he’ unless it has been said it is. Especially when someone doesn’t want to find out.

CaviarAndCigarettes Thu 15-Feb-18 10:05:50

We had a private gender scan for baby one. The doctor saw and then constantly referred to baby as he before he told us. It was a boy

Second two pregnancies we didn't want to find out and they were both referred to as he. Both girls.

ChristmasCakes Thu 15-Feb-18 10:11:16

Yeah I think they use he as a catch all for he and she. I could tell from my 14 week scan that DS was a boy. It was plainly obvious when he was turning around on screen that there was something between his legs. Had a private gender scan and as soon as she made contact the first thing we saw was his equipment. So the sonographer would have known, she was just putting your husband off.

GummyGoddess Thu 15-Feb-18 10:11:43

My scans have always had baby referred to as him, even the 5 week super early one where there was literally nothing to see! Turns out I am having a boy but I think they just default to baby being a boy, they did at other early scans as well.

HoppingPavlova Thu 15-Feb-18 10:12:40

One of mine was referred to as he consistently. It had been determined it was a girl and the sex announced and put in reportorial ob. There were birth defects so we had many scans from 20-40 weeks to monitor and each time they said he even though it was well known it was a she.

Pittcuecothecookbook Thu 15-Feb-18 16:48:33

MyKingdomForBrie

Yep, no jokes here. There are lots of alternatives other than calling all babies 'he'. My midwife managed perfectly well saying baby. Very old fashioned. Reading books from my parents generation babies are always referred to as he, even without reference to the mum so it really grates.

itsmeimcathyivecomehome Fri 16-Feb-18 07:12:42

The baby would have been born a while ago, so I guess OP knows by now!

Pittcuecothecookbook Fri 16-Feb-18 07:34:08

The OP had her anomoly scan this week so not sure what you're basing that on Cathy....

pumpkinbump Mon 26-Feb-18 20:18:10

Wow sorry all, I didn't realise I had replies until I just posted on here and checked this thread, usually get emails.

Sorry if I didn't explain properly, the baby is due in July 2018.

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