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Miscarried at 40, feel like the clock is ticking...

(12 Posts)
MaryT2018 Tue 13-Feb-18 10:50:15

Hi
I recently had a missed miscarriage at 6 weeks, picked up during an early 'reassurance scan' at 8 weeks and then started bleeding naturally at about 10 weeks. After severe bleeding and clots I then continued to bleed first quite heavily then more lightly until it has finally stopped at 19 days. That would have been our second baby but I am desperate to have another and I am over 40 so feel like time is running out for me. I want to start trying again right away but am worried in case it's too soon (physically). I am also worried that I won't get pregnant again quickly although I did catch within a few months the previous times, but I am older now! I feel like every day/week/month that goes by means it is less and less likely I will conceive again, and if I do conceive I'm worried that I might miscarry again because of my age. I have a strong feeling that time is running out and it is all I can think about right now! Is anyone else in or been in a similar position? Or even better, with a success story that will help keep my hopes up? smile

bramblina Tue 13-Feb-18 11:07:59

I was younger but had 4mcs in a row. From my experience my opinion is that if you feel ready then go for it. There were times we didn't actively try and then after 3 yrs of the 4 mcs I just thought sod it.....Why bother with contraception, my body will do what it's meant to do. And it did- the very next month. He's now 12 and in high school smile we then had dc2 no probs at all, another mc then dc 3. I really would advise you to listen to your own body and make your own opinion as you really will know what's best. Good luck xx

southpacificgoat Tue 13-Feb-18 14:59:07

Sorry for your loss OP. I know a loss at over 40 is even more of a blow because time is running out. I gave birth to DC1 at 41 and then didn't get my period back for two years due to continued bf. When I finally did, I got pregnant within 3 cycles, but miscarried at 8 weeks. I had one period after the mc and then got pregnant again. I am currently 17 weeks. Like you, I was really feeling the pressure of time running out, so tried straight away again after the mc. Physically it has not been a problem and I wonder if it even helped to go for it so quickly after the mc. It really depends how you feel emotionally. Try and stay positive. Good luck!

AnUtterIdiot Tue 13-Feb-18 16:14:33

I miscarried at 40 (first pregnancy), got pregnant again at 41 and am now balancing a snoring 2 month old on my chest at 42. It's not the end of the road for you. I'm sorry for your loss. flowers

minley76 Tue 13-Feb-18 16:19:19

Hi Mary, so sorry for your loss.

I lost what would have been dc2 on my 41st birthday last March. Mmc at 12 wks.

Currently 34 wks pg (so conceived after 3 cycles post mc) and things are looking good.

Take care of yourself - there is no reason to give up hope yet. Do take time to get strong again though if you can. Like you, I was afraid time was running out and rushed things a bit, which I think it has made this pregnancy harder and more anxious, as I was still pretty low when I conceived.

All the best

Juststrugglingabit Tue 13-Feb-18 17:11:48

So sorry flowers. I understand how you feel and I think you need to do what feels right to you when you feel ready. If you conceived quickly recently then that is the best indicator of your fertility, not your age alone. Fertility declines as we age but not usually abruptly. No one can know for sure what will happen next time round, but rushing in before your reserves are built back up may result in a difficult pregnancy.

MaryT2018 Wed 14-Feb-18 00:08:32

Thank you all, that has given me hope and a few things to think about. I know there are always the other stories where it didn't work out but it really lifts me to know that other women are getting pregnant again quickly after miscarriage over 40 and having successful pregnancies. I think the shock of it happening to me has worn off now, it sounds daft but as first pregnancy went so well I guess I just kind of assumed second one would too, and miscarriage was something that happened to other people. Really naive in hindsight and I now realise how common it actually is. One of those taboo subjects though still that no-one talks about much, publicly at least! I was definitely run down when I caught last time so I think I need to make sure I'm physically on better form when trying again. I have no idea where my cycle is at so I might just wait for AF to return so I can get back on track with ovulation kits etc! I am still bf my first actually, hoping that won't delay AF coming back after miscarriage? It took over a year to return before x

TheCatsPaws Wed 14-Feb-18 09:42:03

So sorry Mary flowers

I am 23 and have had several miscarriages, so as awful as it is don’t let your age put you off trying again. I was told it’s perfectly okay to try again as soon as you feel okay, so there’s no risk with that.

Perhaps ask your GP for a basic blood test. After my miscarriage (the first one) I did this, they didn’t want to but after much persuading they did. My results were okay but they check things like thyroid because that can cause miscarriage. They may be more willing to do this with you being over 40.

If you need to talk about anything or have questions, please ask me smile hope you are okay.

southpacificgoat Wed 14-Feb-18 11:29:54

I still bf now and got pregnant one cycle after mc. I had no real idea about when my AF would be due either, but it didn't seem to be a problem I my case.

Snowydaysarehere Wed 14-Feb-18 11:31:18

Sorry for your loss. Thinning of the uterine lining is an issue over 40 and ttc so do some research op.

choccybiscuit Wed 14-Feb-18 11:34:50

I misscarried at 39 and fell pregnant 4 months later. I now have a 10 months old.
My dd I had when I was 32, she took two years to conceive. So my fertility improved with age grin

MaryT2018 Wed 14-Feb-18 13:42:01

Thank you for your responses and kind words.
I recently had blood tests after mc to check iron levels and everything came back OK except slightly reduced iron. So on Floradix for that now.
Thinning uterine lining wasn't something I'd heard of at all so will do some research on that. There might be supplements or something I can take, I was reading about ubiquinol recently actually, supposed to help with egg quality so am going to to look into that a bit more too.
Overall though for now I am going to hang onto the fact that what happened to me is sadly just a normal occurrence that unfortunately many of us have to go through, hopefully it is just a one off and I will have my own success story to tell in the future. I am not going to panic just yet as I am in my very early 40s and it sounds like I still have a good chance of conceiving, even if it turns out I need a little help.
My heart goes out to you bramblina and TheCatsPaws and anyone else who has suffered multiple mcs, going through one was an ordeal, I can't imagine going through it several times sad

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