Talk

Advanced search

Am I wrong for changing my mind?

(9 Posts)
Roseystars Mon 12-Feb-18 22:05:50

Hi I'm hoping there's someone out there who's going to understand my situation and maybe give me some advice.
I've been with my boyfriend for less than 6 months, in this time I left my home and got a house with him and have fallen pregnant. This was not a planned pregnancy and I was actually on the pill... I also took an ellaone pill which had no affect.
I told my boyfriend straight away and he was over joyed with the thought of us having a baby. I felt really scared as this is something I have never ever wanted! He made me feel safe and supported to which I thought what right do I have to abort a child? As time has gone on I have realised it was all just the "honeymoon phase and I don't actually have any feelings for him. When he touches me, eats, moves or anything I just feel so repulsed... that sounds absolutely awful and I hate myself every second for feeling this way! He is an amazing guy and could not be faulted for all the things he has done! I really really don't want to go ahead with this pregnancy and I defiantly don't want to be with him but I hate the fact of aborting a baby and don't think I would forgive myself? He was so excited he told all of his family, so not only would he hate me, they would too! I'm 7 weeks and I just wish I could go back in time. I really do not love him but he's convinced he loves me... I'm worried the longer I leave this the more I will hurt him (which I really don't want to do) - he is completely against abortions and I'm unsure how he would react. I have confided in my mum who says she will support me no matter what and I should do what I thinks best... but that decision is hard when I don't even know myself, yet I'm racing against the clock as I'm already at 7 weeks. Please can anyone give me some advice on what I should do?

awankstainonhumanity Mon 12-Feb-18 22:15:25

The two can be separate, need to be separate- Tell him you don't want to be in a relationship, move out.

Decide if you want a child. This child. Now. If you do, then great, if not get yourself booked in to a clinic.

Only you can make these decisions. It's your body and your baby. Don't do it for him/ your mum/ friends. Make the decision for you.

Good luck.

Roseystars Mon 12-Feb-18 22:25:15

Thank you for your honest reply but unfortunately I wouldn't be the one to move out... he would. I paid for the house and everything in it... he simply couldn't afford to live here. His income is not enough to move anywhere, we rely on my income to provide for most things. Being a single mother at the age of 20 because of my stupid choices feels humiliating and just embarrassing. I guess I'll just have to make a choice, just wish it wasn't this hard

happymumof4crazykids Mon 12-Feb-18 22:55:22

I love my OH but when I'm pregnant I go off him hugely! I hate his smell, they way he talks got irritated by everything he did or didn't do. The poor guy couldn't win! I love him with all my heart except when I'm pregnant! Then I hate himblush

Dozer Mon 12-Feb-18 23:00:14

You don’t owe anyone a relationship.

Ask him to move out, then get counselling from a womens service for your decision about the pregnancy.

Many, many fathers in similar circumstances don’t stick around, or pay maintenance, so if you have the DC best assume you’ll be a single parent.

Dozer Mon 12-Feb-18 23:01:17

Six months is also way too early to be financially supporting a bf. It’s not unfortunate the house is yours, it’s the opposite: you can simply ask him to leaveZ

TheCatsPaws Tue 13-Feb-18 09:03:57

Are you sure it’s not hormones? When I’m pregnant I can’t stand being touched, my sex drive goes through the floor and even my partner annoys me sometimes. I just generally become a grumpy bitch who hates everyone.

I adore him. When I’m not pregnant, or past 12 weeks, it goes away. Hormones can affect some people this way.

TheCatsPaws Tue 13-Feb-18 09:05:33

Also I’ve been a single parent at your age. Hard, but doable and DS is wonderful.

cherryontopp Tue 13-Feb-18 10:42:54

Do whatevers best for you.

You'll be one who'll be a single mam if things don't work out. He may have the baby part time or when it suits him - fact is you'll have no idea what he'll be like if you do split up and how much or little involvement he'll have.

Supporting him? Hell no. He can kick.and scream about being against abortions all he wants until he'll be the one to carry, birth and have the money to single handily support the child, then he can jog on.

Do whatever is best for you, no one else

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now