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Pregnant and completely terrified

(15 Posts)
SpongeCake23 Mon 12-Feb-18 08:08:48

I had been TTC for 6 months and didn't expect it to happen but tested positive yesterday. It's still early days of course but I'm really scared.
My parents don't live nearby and I don't have many friends here. The ones I do have aren't very baby friendly and one in particular I'm worried about telling because she wants her own baby but she doesn't have a partner currently.
All my pregnant and friends with babies live back in my hometown.

I have very bad and all consuming health anxiety at times so I'm already concerned my heart is beating too fast, I've had the odd palpitation too - I know it's partly anxiety.

I'm really worried about miscarrying, ectopic pregnancy and pre eclampsia, let alone the north itself as I'm terrified of hospitals!

I thought I'd be happy and I'm really disappointed with myself sad my partner is happy, obviously it's still early days. I just feel like crying all the time.

TheCatsPaws Mon 12-Feb-18 08:13:00

OP, I have anxiety and when pregnant it amplifies it. No matter how much I want the baby, I feel anxious. It’s hormonal and it isn’t your fault.

The risk of miscarriage is fairly low, as is ectopic. I’ve had several miscarriages and most miscarriages happen before you even know you’re pregnant. I know how consuming the worry is, but it won’t change anything.

I had an ELCS because I was frightened of birth. Would that be an option?

SpongeCake23 Mon 12-Feb-18 08:20:39

@TheCatsPaws I am thinking about an Elective Cesarean, are they happy for you to do that? I thought they would try and persuade you otherwise.

TheCatsPaws Mon 12-Feb-18 08:22:28

My team were, anxiety is a valid reason. Some hospitals are less happy to do it but guidelines say maternal request should be honoured

MaverickSnoopy Mon 12-Feb-18 08:23:23

One thing at a time.

Every time you start panicking say these words to yourself over and over.

The worries in pregnancy can be all consuming. I try not to think about them but then I don't have anxiety. I am incredibly anxious person and do obsess over things that other people wouldn't get hung up on and I do loose sleep through it, so I find that distracting myself or stop allowing myself to think about the particular thing helps a bit, although it's not always possible.

SpongeCake23 Mon 12-Feb-18 08:26:47

Also another thing is that we are in the process of buying a house and I want to continue with that and find somewhere as we are currently renting. I'm not planning on telling the bank I'm pregnant as I'm not sure they'll lend us the amount they've said they will. So we'll need to find somewhere before I'm showing.

harrietm87 Mon 12-Feb-18 09:25:03

@SpongeCake23 I never had to see anyone from the bank in person when applying for our mortgage - it was all online/over the phone. Also with your first you probably won't show properly until 6 or 7 months so don't panic about that!

All the other worries are totally standard. Just take each day as it comes.

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy Mon 12-Feb-18 11:15:04

Hi @SpongeCake23. Congratulations! I got my bfp today after 7 months TTC. I suffer with anxiety too but take sertraline which really helps. I discussed this with my GP before TTC and agreed it was safe to stay on it.

We are getting married next year and looking at buying a house as we are renting now also. All these things are coming and once and it's a time of anxiety but also excitement.

Please see your gp about feeling like this as they will certainly be able to help you in some way. And mumsnet is always here if you want to chat. Xx

NimbleKnitter Mon 12-Feb-18 13:38:17

Congrats both! Pleased to see you over here!

Can't help with the anxiety I'm afraid, but deffo speak to your gp about it. The first 8 weeks are the most stressful, and that's when it's most difficult to get support.

Hugs xx

MaverickSnoopy Mon 12-Feb-18 13:40:17

We bought two houses when I was pregnant never informing the bank. It was fine. Yes it's a worry "in case" but I sure you will find somewhere in plenty of time.

SpongeCake23 Mon 12-Feb-18 17:58:10

This is today's test. But I still feel like my period is about to start!

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy Mon 12-Feb-18 18:03:52

How many dpo are you and when is AF due? I feel like AF is about to start too!

SpongeCake23 Mon 12-Feb-18 18:13:38

@BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy I'm about 11 days late I think.

BiscayTrafalgarFitzroy Mon 12-Feb-18 18:23:11

Can guy do a digital to give a better idea of how far along you are?

FartnissEverbeans Mon 12-Feb-18 18:40:42

I had what I thought were period pains at about six weeks but it was just implantation pain.

I was (still am) far away from home (about 5000 miles). I was really anxious during pregnancy but once I got to the second trimester things improved as I could count kicks and I found that really reassuring. I went on to have a really lovely pregnancy.

One hing that helped me was a CBT strategy I found online. Whenever I felt my anxiety surfacing I'd ask myself, how would a non-anxious person behave/feel right now? It helped me gain some perspective.

Best of luck OP. What you're feeling is normal, though unpleasant.

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