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Feeling nervous about becoming a mother

(8 Posts)
Emmastone123 Sat 10-Feb-18 22:42:53

I give birth by c section in a weeks time. Much longed for baby. Married and stable financially.

Anyway... I am getting SO nervous about having this baby. Can anyone relate? I know I'll love it and I want it so badly but as d day approaches, I'm getting into a panic.
What if the baby hates me? What if it never sleeps? What if it's seriously ill? I have so many questions running around my head. I feel so so responsible for this little person and that responsibility is scaring me. What if I do something wrong and fail the baby somehow?

Can anyone offer some wise words as parents or offer some perspective?

Thanks so much in advance.

SurreyMay Sat 10-Feb-18 23:06:45

I can’t offer any perspective as i’m due in 3 weeks and I feel exactly the same! I think it’s normal, try to keep positive and take each step at a time. Everything will fall into place! Good luck for next week!

BillywigSting Sat 10-Feb-18 23:17:42

I Thu it's perfectly normal to be worried, I was absolutely terrified and couldn't quite believe they just let me go home with this perfect tiny and completely vulnerable little creature who depended entirely on me to survive .

I couldn't even keep a plant alive never mind a human

But, with a bit of trial and error we figured it out. It wasn't easy, but nothing worth doing ever is really.

I still pinch myself that the beautiful four year old standing in front of me with all of his little quirks and funny ways is mine, and congratulate myself and dp on his birthday that we managed to keep him alive another year.

Your baby is not going to hate you, you are it's mother. As long as you look after it with love and with care you're about 90% of the way there.

If you're totally lost there's classes to take, and stuff but remember it's a learning curve and you have to get to know each other.

Don't beat yourself up if it's too hard some days. Sometimes you have to hide in the wardrobe mainlining coffee with earplugs in to ward off the intensity of it.

But that's ok. We all do.

You will make mistakes. You will feel guilty. Your child will get sick and it will be awful.

But they will love you and you will love them and as hard and exhausting and mind numbing and worrying as it is, it's a thousand times more amazing.

We're all just winging it really in the end, and the only difference between an adventure an ordeal is frame of mind.

And good luck!

LunaLanolin11 Sat 10-Feb-18 23:49:06

I completely understand where you’re coming from, I felt exactly the same. I worried about loads of stuff. It’s totally normal to feel anxious and scared about what’s coming but, at the same time, try to let it go. Worrying gets you nowhere, honestly. You’ll somehow just manage to figure things out and do your best.

There’s no denying that it’s hard, really hard, but if you’ve got good support around you then it makes it so much better.
You’ll love this little one more than you’ll ever believe possible (and they’ll love you too so really don’t worry). It can take time to bond with your baby - it’s a shock to both of you at first! - but it’s a love that grows more and more with every passing day.

My little boy is 19 months now and it’s been an adventure - it changes your life in so many ways - but don’t be afraid of it. Roll with the punches and remember that, as long as you love and nurture them, then you’re doing a fantastic job.
Nobody is perfect, we learn by making mistakes, so don’t beat yourself up at any point in this process (much easier said than done though!).

We’re expecting our second in July so I’ve also had worries about how to cope with two etc, but I’ve decided to let all that go because it gets you nowhere. You just survive because you have to in the end!

Oh and you get used to the sleep thing, honestly. Your body adapts. And, if you’re lucky, it won’t be for too long anyway. I also worried about the illnesses etc but my son’s had loads of stuff now, and it’s awful, but try not to freak out. Everybody gets ill and everybody hurts themselves, that’ll be a given. Just try and stay calm and keep a thermometer and calpol handy. The doctor is only ever a phone call away.

Good luck, it’s a rollercoaster (each day brings its highs and lows) but even when you think you want to get off, you’ll always want more. I wouldn’t change it for the world and I’m pretty certain you won’t either (even on the bad days!) 😊

katmarie Sun 11-Feb-18 00:54:14

My little one is two weeks old. I know exactly how you feel because I was you three weeks ago. In the last couple of weeks I have learned so much about what I'm capable of, able and willing to do in order to care for this child. It's not easy, and there have been a lot of tears and frustrations (day three hormones are a killer, I think I cried all day). But looking at this little tiny baby, I would do it all over again in a second.

Give yourself time, and be very very kind to yourself. It's hard. But it's really magical. Good luck xx

MrsMcW Sun 11-Feb-18 08:12:31

Another one feeling exactly the same way here flowers I'm due in 6 weeks and don't feel remotely ready for this!

Whippetmamma Sun 11-Feb-18 08:18:40

I think it’s completely normal to have these feelings, and truly think nothing can fully prepare you for when your baby gets here.
I certainly felt the same as you with DS1 who is now a very happy, mischievous and non sleeping 9 month old. There have been some tough times but we muddled along nicely 🙂 I’d never even held a baby until him and had no idea how to change a nappy!
Now expecting DC2 and feeling just as clueless as to how I’m going to cope with 2!
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, you’ll be great 🙂 x

Emmastone123 Sun 11-Feb-18 11:00:38

Thanks so much everyone. It's just a relief to feel I'm not alone feeling like this. I am so excited but that excitement is fogged by real worries and nerves. I guess most people manage it just fine! I think it's just the responsibility. I mean when we had a dog, I was obsessed and worried and fussed over it, just knowing he relied on me and me only - it's a big thing. Not that I'm comparing my baby to a dog! It's just the sense of responsibility...

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