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5 months pregnant dont know what to do

(19 Posts)
Georgina22 Wed 24-Jan-18 02:26:28

I'm 17 and unexpectedly got pregnant, in June 2017 I had an abortion which I regretted so much and it still hurts me today, and 3 or 4 months later i got pregnant again and I was scared to tell my mum because she wants me to get a good job, I know this baby will hurt my chances to get a good career but I can't bring myself to get rid of another innocent baby 😢 My boyfriend of a year and a half is at college and I'm unemployed, my mum has told me multiple times that if I get pregnant I have to move out, but I have no where to go 🙁 I just need someone to talk to my boyfriend isn't a girl and just doesn't get it, I genuinely have no friends I've gotten myself into such a mess. I don't want to give my baby away either.. Where do I even go from here ?

LondonLassInTheCountry Wed 24-Jan-18 02:29:22

You are very close to the cut off point.

You need to talk to a doctor and get on a better form of "Protection"

AssassinatedBeauty Wed 24-Jan-18 02:31:53

Have you seen a midwife yet? You don't have to give your baby away if you don't want to. I know it doesn't seem like it now but there will be a way to work this all out.

It's not a guarantee that having a baby now will damage your chances of a career. It may make things more complicated but it isn't a given that it will stop you from getting a good job.

Do you have any other female relatives you can talk to if you're worried about telling your mum?

Gem173 Wed 24-Jan-18 07:18:10

Thought today would go smoothly, but nope only woke up to find someone has hit my car and left a crappy note saying sorry with their number. The notes faded and it’s falling apart because of the rain. So fucked off and so sad. I just want to cry, I have such bad luck :/

Gem173 Wed 24-Jan-18 07:18:39

Sorry wrong thread^

ForeverHopeful21 Wed 24-Jan-18 10:27:39

I know plenty of people who had children very young and now have fantastic careers. I'm not saying its easy, and it'll take a little longer to get there, but if you're determined it can be done.

It sounds like your mum wants the best for you, so although she may be very disappointed / shout / cry etc. maybe she'll come round? You never know it might be a relief to get it off your chest.

My sister got pregnant very young and initially my mum was devastated and I still recall the argument to this day. However, she got over it and as soon as my nephew my born my mum adored him ...he's now 21!

Whatever happens, please don't be pushed in to a decision that isn't right for you. This is your baby and you need to do what you feel is right. I'd speak to someone asap though as you're already 5 months and it isn't going to go away.

EastDulwichWife Wed 24-Jan-18 13:43:20

Do you have anyone you can talk to in real life OP? You're in a really tough place and could use all the support you can get, regardless of your choice.

You're getting near to the end of the time when you can choose to have an abortion (24 weeks), so you should consider speaking to your GP as soon as possible. Alternatively, you'll need to access prenatal care to ensure the health of your baby, so either way acting soon will benefit you and your baby.

Please try to find someone you can talk to. Do you have a trusted teacher at College, or an aunt? Perhaps your boyfriend's mother?

Hollymchollyface Wed 24-Jan-18 13:53:03

I think you should talk to your Mum, she may be cross initially but she'll be glad you told her rather than suffer in silence.
Its true its easier to get a career without kids but it's not impossible, you might just have to put your career on hold for a few years.

Afreshcuppateaplease Wed 24-Jan-18 13:53:34

I would talk to your mum to op

SueGeneris Wed 24-Jan-18 14:00:59

It sounds like you definitely want this baby. Don't be pressured into an abortion you don't want. Pregnancy at 17 is not the end of the world by any means. There's no reason why it can't work out.

So you just need to get through this time and find support to do it.

Fwiw I worked with someone when I was in my 30s who had had her son at 17. She had brought him up as a single mum and put herself through further education in that time and had a good job. She was very determined and far more mature than me (we are about the same age). Something having children does do (whatever age you are - 17, 27, 37) is force you to grow up and focus on providing. There is no reason at all why you can't be a great mum at 17 and still get into work and a career. You just need to find the right support. Your mum may come round. She may have said you'd have to move out if you for pregnant in.the hope it would act as a deterrent. What does your boyfriends family think?

I would say if you haven't already, get a midwife and tell them everything and ask for their support.

PsychoPumpkin Wed 24-Jan-18 14:05:39

Talk to your mum. She will find out eventually!
I was pregnant at 17, gave birth at 18. My daughter is 7 now.
My mum and Dad were furious to start off with but didn’t kick me out, by the end of the pregnancy they were excited and Mum was my birth partner. After the birth they helped me find a flat, took me to the CAB to see what I was entitled to and okay, it was tough for a few years but it’s not the end of the world, honestly.

BigBaboonBum Wed 24-Jan-18 14:09:55

I was 19 and not ready at all. My life stopped, it was difficult and I was alone... and I honestly wouldn’t change a single thing anymore. I wish I’d have realised sooner how to be a Mum, I think I just kept my eldest alive at the beginning and that was that... but then came the love. Lots of people feel the love straight away, but I didn’t with my eldest. Now he’s my best friend. I can’t imagine life without him. I also have a good job, way above average pay and I work from home.

That said, it still may not be the life for you, and if it’s not then have an abortion. There is no need to feel guilt or sadness if you decide this, if this isn’t your time. But next time try to use better protection!

Good luck flowers

Georgina22 Wed 24-Jan-18 14:14:10

I was on depo injection which wore off without me getting a period x

Georgina22 Wed 24-Jan-18 14:16:38

That makes me happy thankyou, I should of said I was on depo injection and using condoms but it wore off and went without once and it happened My family is just so fertile I shouldn't of taken the risk, I have learnt my lesson though, thankyou x

Georgina22 Wed 24-Jan-18 14:19:28

I will definetly not have an abortion I love babies and always have, I know I will be able to take care of the baby okay it's just my mum I'm worried about, my boyfriends mum and dad are very traditional and I'm close with his mum and sister so I might think about telling his sister before, I am going to the doctors next week thankyou xx

Georgina22 Wed 24-Jan-18 14:21:09

I do want the baby abortion isn't for me x I have thought about talking to my boyfriends mum as we are close however I don't want my mum to be upset that I didn't go to her, I could talk to my aunt but I'm just apprehensive of how my mum will feel knowing I didn't tell her first x

1stX Wed 24-Jan-18 15:06:53

Then I would tell her 1st. It will be a shock and might not be what she wanted for you but she’s the best person to talk it through with.
Remember though. Ultimately it’s your choice and no one can make you do anything you don’t want. There are plenty of options open to you. It probably won’t be easy but I’m sure you can work something out. Good luck op x

Mothermnd Thu 25-Jan-18 14:31:07

I'm 20 and I'm 16 weeks pregnant. I was 19 when I found out. You CAN do this and just think... by telling your mum what's the worst that can happen? My mums reaction at first wasn't good but she soon came round after just a few hours! There is plenty of help out there when it comes to helping you financially and if you want to keep your baby then do! Your mum will love your baby and once the baby is here I'm sure she will regret any bad things said! I rang my mum to tell her I needed to come over to speak to her... she guessed over the phone. Things do work out I promise x

Gemlou1989 Thu 25-Jan-18 14:35:50

I had my eldest DD at 17,she's 11 now and I wouldn't change her for the world. My mum was furious at first and insistent on me having an abortion but I was a stubborn mare. I had no idea what I was doing but I muddled through and swapped nights out for jigsaws and Peppa Pig and have been rewarded with a clever little lady.
I was in an abusive relationship at the time so it really was hard but there is an amazing support network via midwifes and health centres etc. You can do it flowers big hugs and best wishes xx

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