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Overbearing partners family 36 weeks preg

(11 Posts)
Vi37 Sat 13-Jan-18 17:43:27

I’m currently 36 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I have antenatal depression and anxiety, I struggle to eat for fear of giving my baby infections etc and haven’t slept properly in weeks . I have seen a counsellor and I’m now seeing an infant mental health nurse once a week because I’m struggling to cope with the whole thing. My partner knows this and hasn’t been particularly supportive, he’s snapped at me quite often because I’ve been unable to buy things for the baby and we’ve not finished the room yet. I work full time and make tea, his sandwiches for work, wash clean. I’m getting more and more cross with his family, particularly his mum and sister. Whenever we go to see them we’re asked why the room isn’t finished, what we need to buy etc it just feels constant and controlling. Then when we get home I get it in the neck from my partner because it’s my fault he’s not been allowed to do anything or buy anything he’s always been a mummy’s boy. Has anyone been in the same situation? I’m ready for moving to my mum and dads because I’m so fed up. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when he’s born.

1stX Sat 13-Jan-18 17:49:50

What the fuck is stopping him getting off his arse and (for a start) making his own sandwiches? Doing the housework? Getting things ready for the baby? Sounds like you have a manchild.
Tell him to grow up. He’s going to be a father!

ijustwannadance Sat 13-Jan-18 17:51:06

The baby's room doesn't have to be sorted before he/she arrives but you really will need to buy the stuff you do actually need as you could go anytime.

If you find it too stressful, why can't your DP do it? Or order online?

cherryontopp Sat 13-Jan-18 17:55:55

Hold on...your heavily pregnant, work full time, do his tea and your partner and his family are wondering why everything isnt finished?! Christ on a bike!
I'd give them all a piece of my mind. Remind them all your partner is the child's parent too and its not just your responsibility. Then tell them to whind their neck in!

Vi37 Sat 13-Jan-18 18:01:32

Thank you, I was thinking it was me. Nothing I say gets through at all. I have everything I need for baby. It’s just the room isn’t papered and carpeted. He’s going to be in our room for months anyway so my thinking was that there wasn’t a massive rush. It’s just the ‘you should be doing this and that’ from his family that I can’t stand and he never stands up to them. He just agrees with them.

ClareB83 Sat 13-Jan-18 18:02:49

OP says she hasn't allowed her DP to sort out the nursery.

You need to let him sort it and the other stuff you need when baby is new and let him to do it now. You could have this baby anytime now.

I'm not surprised his family is on at you. I'm not surprised he's irked.

The division of household chores is another thing entirely.

You're 36 weeks it's time to get sorted.

And get a hospital bag sorted too.

ClareB83 Sat 13-Jan-18 18:04:10

Hmmm x post but that's not what you said at first op. You said he hadn't been allowed to buy anything.

Still I really don't think you're going to want to decorate with a newborn. I'd still let him do it now.

Princesspinkgirl Sat 13-Jan-18 22:59:27

I think your partner needs to learn to grow up and support you before baby comes otherwise id seriously consider walking away

expatinscotland Sat 13-Jan-18 23:06:42

You lost me at the working FT, heavily pregnant but still making this twat's sandwiches for work, his dinner and doing all the housework. Because you don't have to imagine what he'll be like once the baby's born: insufferable.

Ihatemarmite123 Sat 13-Jan-18 23:48:35

They'd get it in the neck from me! What a bunch of irritating twats! Have any of the in laws offered to get off their arses and paper the walls for you?

I'd be having a very stern word with dp.

It isn't you! At 36 weeks I could hardly walk up the stairs never mind work full time.

April45 Sun 14-Jan-18 05:02:23

You sound really overwhelmed with it all. Breakdown what needs doing and delegate what you can.

If you want to decorate the nursery then do- just look online or nip to b&q and pick a wallpaper. It’d be lovely to have a space ready even though baby won’t sleep in there to start with.

I think you said you have the baby bits ready if not- do this!!

Then sit down put your feet up and start letting other people do things for you. You won’t be able to cook clean etc when baby is first here so you need to start letting other people help you or ask for help. A few freezer meals will help in the early days like lasagne and cottage pie if you want to prep something x

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